A Man Apart
by H. R. Beck
Summary: The story begins in session 5 when Dax and some of her friends vacation on Risa. While they're gone a somewhat mysterious doctor arrives on the station apparently recruited by Starfleet to assist them in their ongoing fight against the dominion. Gaven is a man of many secrets, as the crew slowly discover. Some find him to be more intriguing than others. Comments encouraged.
1. The Good Doctor Ore

Doctor Gaven Ore was not particularly happy to be en route to Deep Space nine.

For one he wasn't a Starfleet Officer and it made him mildly uncomfortable that he would be expected to work with people who were. Since the appearance of the Dominion, Starfleet had been putting pressure on Gaven to join the cause. While he was generally unknown in many circles, the truth was that Gaven was a leading expert in the Field of alien genetics and anatomy. No doubt Starfleet wanted to try and utilize his expertise to help develop strategies to combat the Vorta and Jem'Hadar if not the Changeling founders themselves. While Gaven sympathized with those apposing the Dominion, he didn't agree with using biological or genetic warfare to achieve those ends. But as the threat increased he wasn't sure how long he could avoid not upholding his principles. The more desperate the Federation got, the less choice he knew would be afforded him and deep down he also knew that Starfleet had ways of leaning on him that could ultimately force him to relent.

For the time being however, Gaven was simply being asked to be open to Starfleet's requests while he continued his personal work. In exchange Starfleet was prepared to allow him access to their resources. One thing he was happy about was that Deep Space 9 was such a melting pot of humanoid species. Some of whom he'd only ever read about. It would be an undeniable opportunity to live among such a diverse population and that, at least, gave him some amount of personal satisfaction.

It was nearly dinner time when Gaven arrived on the station.

Since both Jadzia Dax and Doctor Julian Bashir were away on Risa vacationing with their respective partners, a very pregnant Major Kira had agreed to rendezvous with Gaven and get him situated until the others returned and he could be formally introduced.

Personally, Kira was glad of the assignment. Pregnancy wasn't proving to be her favorite state of being and although she was gracious about carrying the O'Brien's baby by this point she would feel tremendously better once she could put the experience behind her and got back to her normal life.

Arriving in the docking bay just as Gaven was gathering up his carry on things, Kira quickly took a few seconds to take the Doctor in since there had been an unusually small amount of personal information in his file. Gaven was tall, dark haired, and handsome. With a decidedly serious edge to him that made his defined sharp features look more imposing. He was dressed conservatively in a dark monochrome uniform without any identifiers. Kira noted a plain black armband on his left upper arm with a white circle upon it. Though its meaning, if any, was lost on her.

"Hello Doctor Ore. Welcome to Deep Space 9. My name is Major Kira Nerys. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance." Kira said once Gaven had straightened and turned in her direction.

"Hello." He said curtly nodding to her.

A man of few words, Kira noted.

"Well, shall I show you to your quarters first?" She offered.

"I suppose that would probably be wise. Please, lead the way and thank you." Gaven smiled at the major in a manner that showed he was trying to be polite.

Kira and Gaven didn't speak again until they arrived at his quarters in the habitation ring near the infirmary.

"I hope you'll be comfortable. The replicator is there for your use and if you need anything else just let one of our people know. That's pretty much it. If you want I can give you the deluxe tour of the station." Kira offered.

"That would be fine." Gaven agreed.

"Right." Kira was trying to be polite but the truth was she found Gaven's sober demeanor a little off putting.

"Before we go though, why don't you sit down for a few minutes. The tour will keep. I can't imagine you're very comfortable right now. Frankly I'm amazed you're on duty. Please do sit." Gaven offered evenly before putting down his things. "Can I replicate you something?"

Gaven's unexpected concern for her comfort caught her by surprise but then Kira reminded herself that he was a doctor and probably had some amount of experience dealing with pregnant women.

"You know, actually? I would love to sit down. Thanks." Kira said letting down her guard just a little. "And since you offered I would love some…"

Before she could finish her sentence a sneezing fit began to over take her much to the Bajorian's embarrassment.

"Here. Let me." Gaven quickly went to the replicator and muttered a request before it materialized and he brought the offering to the small table the commander had dropped down near. "Chew this a few times and then let it sit under your tongue. It'll help reduce the sneezing fit and it's good for the baby. I promise."

Gaven offered her what looked like a small fibrous oblong burgundy colored tomato.

Desperate to stop her sneezing, Kira followed his instructions and a moment later her sneezing fit subsided. "Oh my god. It worked. What is this and why haven't I found it sooner?"

"Its called a capya fruit. It calms the nasal reflex and its got alot of nutrients in it that your baby should like. Its not native to Bajor, but I've found it to be effective. Plus I happen to like the way they taste." Gaven took a second one out of the bowl he'd offered her and popped it into his mouth.

"I think I love you a little bit." Kira quipped.

"A small occupational hazard." This time Gaven did offer the Major a genuine smile.

"If you don't mind me saying so, you seem pretty far along for a Bajorian pregnancy." Gaven observed.

"Yeah, in other words you're saying I'm as big as a house." Kira joked, leaning back in her chair a little to give herself more room. "Actually, I've got a lot more time to go. I'm carrying this baby for a human friend of mine and as you know probably know human pregnancies take alot longer than Bajorian ones do."

"I see. That would explain it then. Can I get you anything else?" He offered.

"No, thanks. Trust me, you've done more than enough. Remind me to return the favor sometime. I think I'm ready to go now." Kira said while trying to mentally prepare herself for the effort it would take to get up out of her chair.

Gaven nodded and ultimately helped her up so that they could get on with their tour of the station.

Later that evening, Kira was enjoying a welcome home dinner with Jadzia Dax.

"Did you and Worf have a good time on Risa?" Kira asked knowingly.

"The trip certainly had its moments. Frankly, I think it was exactly what we needed and I know for a fact Worf ultimately had a good time." Dax replied. "Hows the baby?"

"Fine. Everything is right on schedule. More importantly I finally found a natural remedy for those terrible sneezing fits. I think I might finally be able to get some work done." Kira proclaimed.

"I heard the mysterious Dr. Ore arrived while I was away. What's he like?" If there was one thing Dax enjoyed it was idle gossip.

"He's a little reserved, but he seems nice. What I can't understand is why there's so little in the computer system about him. From what I understand he's supposed to be brilliant." Kira said.

"I know. I've read some of his work. He's been systematically updating Starfleet's alien anatomy files for the last year. His research is ground breaking. In a few years we may be able to develop treatments for all kinds of genetic diseases not to mention clear up some mysteries about certain alien biology. His work may also give us a serious advantage when dealing with the Dominion." Dax speculated. "Benjamin promised we'd all be briefed in the morning about what Dr. Ore plans to do while he's here."

"Well whatever it is, he's got my support." Kira muttered.

"So tell me. Is he cute?" Dax asked eagerly.

Kira's mouth dropped open and then promptly closed as she took up her tea cup. "I hadn't notice."

"You liar." Dax said grinning wide. "Come on, don't hold out on me."

"He isn't unattractive, but I promise you he isn't my type and anyway you'll see him for yourself tomorrow Miss Looky-loo."

"What? I can look. I may be with Worf, but I'm not blind." Dax grinned wider.

Early the next morning, everyone gathered to be briefed.

"Good morning everyone. I'd like to introduce Doctor Gaven Ore. Doctor Ore is going to be working with us for the foreseeable future. Doctor? I know you've already met Major Kira. I'd like to introduce you to the rest of my team and some of the people you'll undoubtedly be working with while your here. Starting at my left is Jadzia Dax my Science Officer and my Strategic Operation officer Commander Worf. To your right is our Chief Medical Officer Doctor Julian Bashir, Miles O'Brien Chief of Operations, and, last but not least, our Security Chief Odo." Sisko began.

"Hello." Gaven said in the same manner he'd originally greeted Kira in. As his eyes surveyed the room Gaven's gaze linger a fraction longer on the none human officers stopping just short of Odo whom he looked in the direction of but not directly at.

"Well, I suppose we should get started. It would seem Starfleet has taken some interest specifically in my genetics research and has asked me to assist Deep Space 9 in what I can only assume are matters dealing with the Dominion. From what I understand the station has had some trouble devising efficient ways of identifying Changeling operatives and I've been asked to develop a better medical detection method. For the time being I've agreed to assist Starfleet with their objectives, though I admit there are limits to what I'm comfortable with. Besides my more specific tasks, while I'm here I am at your disposal as a additional doctor. Though, I understand that Doctor Bashir is more than capable of handling most of your medical needs." Gaven explained.

"If you don't mind me asking what is your area of expertise, doctor?" O'Brien asked.

"Alien genetics and anatomy, mostly." Gaven replied.

"Doctor Ore has also done some incredible work with radiation research." Dax added.

"Do you have any existing leads on your detection solution?" Doctor Bashir inquired.

"Yes. I've identified a type of radiation that most organisms are sensitive to. My research has concluded that, specifically in changeling's, limited exposure to this radiation renders them incapable of taking form outside of their natural state." Gaven explained.

"Really." Odo interjected. "And how did you manage to come to that conclusion?"

This time Gaven did raise his gaze to look directly at Odo. "Its common knowledge on the planet Oum. Their scientific centers have documentation dating back centuries on the subject."

"Oum? I've never heard of it." Bashir remarked.

"That's not surprising. Oum isn't a federation planet. As far as I knew they're isolationists and typically won't communicate with other species." Dax explained.

"Yes. That's correct. The planet has enjoyed a unique level of isolation due to the high levels of radiation the planet is exposed to. Most species can't tolerate being on the planet's surface even with protection. Of course there are a few exceptions. The Oum themselves have evolved in such a way where they have a natural resistance to the radiation exposure allowing them to exist and thrive." Gaven added.

"I must be missing something. If the planet is so toxic and they don't like to make contact with other species how did you get your hands on this wealth of information?" O'Brien asked.

"Like I said, the effects of the radiation on outside species are common knowledge. I know because Oum is my mother planet." Gaven replied somewhat tensely.

"It should be noted that Doctor Ore's origins are both accurate and should be considered restricted information." Sisko interjected. "As far as anyone else on or off this station is concerned, Doctor Ore is human."

"Historically, my people have had limited encounters with the founders. While I'm sure they'd very much like to have dealings with my people, my planet has become a no contact zone and has more or less been ignored." Gaven remarked.

"How…Fortunate for you." Worf commented unhappily.

"In any case, if I can find a way to isolate the radiation exposure we could in theory render areas virtually impossible for changelings to infiltrate. Naturally the problem is a matter of ensuring the radiation doesn't sicken or kill anyone else exposed to it in the process." Gaven looked increasingly unhappy as he talked. "Anyway, that's the gist of what I'm here for."

"Thank you, Doctor. If everyone is through with their questions then I'll adjourn this meeting. You're all dismissed."

Having no further comment and reading the mood in the room Worf and O'Brien departed quickly. Bashir was nice enough to shake Gaven's hand and tell him he looked forward to working with him before departing as well. Odo remained in the room for several minutes as if he was considering something before a call interrupted him and called him away.

This left Sisko, Kira and Dax alone with him.

"God, I hate this. No offense to everyone." Gaven muttered unhappily.

"I'm sorry if that was more uncomfortable for you than you wanted, Doctor." Sisko remarked compassionately.

"Can I ask you a personal question?" Dax inquired. "In all the years I've heard mention of Oum, I've never heard of the culture allowing its people off planet. How is it that you've come to be here."

Gaven didn't answer but looked at Sisko as if to give him permission to answer on his behalf.

"Doctor Ore is a refugee of sorts. For various reasons he's been expelled from the planet and isn't permitted to return. Due to the sensitive nature of his off world status I've agreed to protect his privacy regarding his origins." Sisko explained.

"That must be very difficult for you." Kira remarked.

"It is, but it can't be helped. I love my people and my home world. But I've reconciled with the reality that I can no longer be apart of it. For as much as I've lost, I like to think I've gained infinitely more. Being here among all of you means a great deal to me and my personal work. I'm honored to be a guest on this station even if some of my reasons for being here are not particularly to my liking. As I promised Starfleet, if I can do something to help all of you, I'll do it. But I do have limits to how I'll allow my discoveries to be used. I know someday that may not make me very popular but it's a risk I'm willing to take. Now, if you don't mind…I'd like to get started. Idle hands are the devil's playground. I think, that's how the saying goes."

Shortly after, Gaven was finally left to his own devices for the rest of the day. He wouldn't be setting up with Doctor Bashir until the next morning and yet Gaven still felt his business for the day had not been concluded. His thoughts drifted back upon his meeting earlier and how under normal circumstances he would have been beyond ecstatic to meet a Klingon, a Trill, and a Changeling all in the same room. It almost sounded like the opening of some bar joke. Instead he only felt miserable, guarded, and terribly alone.

Gaven swallowed all of this. Forcing his feelings into a series of boxes in his mind to be reopened later when he had the time to meditate back in his room and purge what would not emotionally serve him.

It was time to focus on his unfinished business.

Abandoning the small table he'd taken at Quirk's to have something to drink, he departed intending to seek out the one person he felt he owed a conversation to.

Odo was in his office looking over reports and trying to ignore the fact that his lower back was killing him. The idea of relaxation had always seemed silly to the shapeshifter when he could still change form, given that his natural state was as about as relaxed as any organic life form could get. Until now when he was in a humanoid shape he preferred rigidity. Now that the Founders had revoked his shape shifting abilities in punishment, he was starting to have to rethink his personal standards and behaviors if he wanted to go on being…comfortable in his new skin.

Gaven was similar in mentality when it came to his self expression. But he, perhaps, came off more reclusive and secretive than he did rigid.

"Yes? Come in." Odo muttered when he heard the signal on his closed office door sound.

"Mr. Odo. I do apologize for disturbing you, sir." Gaven came into the room with all the strange assertiveness of someone used to adapting to strange and unusual environments.

Slightly surprised by the identity of his visitor Odo promptly put down the report he was reading to address Gaven. "Was…There something I could do for you, Doctor?"

"I was hoping I could talk with you for a few moments." Gaven said evenly.

"O-Of course. Please, SIT." Odo's tone was a little less casual and a little more stern than he wanted to sound just then. "What was it you wanted to talk about."

"I want you to know that…that…" Just then Gaven found himself struggling to spit out his own words. "I feel exceedingly strong about your personal position here on Deep Space 9. I have a great deal of respect for you and your origins, Sir. And I must admit I didn't want to say some of the things that had to be said earlier in the briefing about your people. Its important to me that you know that. My people and your people have always held a unique fascination for each other. When your species first made contact with ours many centuries ago we welcomed them, and when we realized our planet could hurt the changelings we attempted to help get them off our world. When I think about what both of our people have become I can't help but feel…a great sense of loss and personal disappointment. I feel as if you and I are similar in the sense that in our hearts we both wish everything could be different. You're views and experiences have served to put a rift between you and your people in the same way my views and experiences have put a rift between my people and I."

Although Gaven was doing a good job at keeping his tone even and open, Odo could perceive a deep churning turmoil in his eyes and briefly entertained the notion that in truth the strange doctor was probably very nearly on the verge of tears.

"I need you to know Odo that someday the Federation may push me to use my work against the Dominion. If and when that day comes its important to me that you understand that it would never be something I would choose to do." Gaven insisted.

"I see. May, um, I ask you something?" Odo asked lightly.

Gaven nodded.

"I've been looking over your information files. Its vague as I think was your intention and in light of what you've been willing to confide about your actual identity as well as your need to come here now I'm led to the conclusion that you're here, off your planet I mean, as a form of punishment. Is that about right?"

This time Gaven's eyes noticeably welled but no tears escaped and he didn't reply.

Odo scoffed slightly and folded his hands together upon his desk. "Its never an easy thing being forced from your people. That, we seem to have in common. I suppose its true that, although you love them, you can't come to terms with your people's beliefs which likely conflict with your own. I can imagine how painful that must be for you even if I don't know the specific details of your situation. I can tell you're still grieving and that you'd probably rather that others not know. Though its of little consolation I'm sure, know that in imagining a different way of being for yourself you are remaining true to what you know you can never be as well as honoring what you still are."

"Yes." Gaven agreed, finally gaining back his full composure. "Thank you."

"Mm. Give yourself time, Doctor. And try to focus on the positives of your situation. In one way or another, many of us on Deep Space 9 are…Without country. So to speak. You'll find many examples of people here who break the expected norms of the cultures they were born to." Odo remarked in a thoughtful manner.

"I do look forward to that aspect of being here, Mr. Odo." Gaven agreed.

"As for you're troubles with the Federation, let us address those concerns as they become apparent." Odo muttered.

"Yes. I'll keep everyone abreast of what I know. Thank you for being willing to speak to me. If there's anything I can do for you please don't hesitate to ask." Gaven offered.

"As a matter of of fact I could do with some medical advise. Due to some unfortunate business with the Founders, I had my shape shifting abilities tampered with. Dr. Bashir is still trying to find a way to reverse the effects, but in the mean time I've become more or less flesh and blood. The experience has been…an interesting ordeal so far and I must admit I'm still having problems adjusting to my physiological limitations. I tend to frequently pull muscles and develop aches due to…how I tend to carry myself. I've been trying to work on it but relaxation was never my strong point." Odo explained.

"Are you in pain now?" Gaven inquired.

"As a matter of fact, my lower back is killing me. Something about having a spinal column and carrying myself too rigidly or something. I'm trying to find other solutions and I was wondering if you had any recommendations given your specialty in anatomy." Odo finished.

"I see. Well, assuming the Founder saw fit to keep your solid form in line with humans there are a few things you can do to help. For one you might consider getting a better chair with lumbar support. You could also try inversion. That's when you hang upside down. It helps decompress the spin. Warm baths before bed, proper rest, and an occasional massage wouldn't hurt either." Gaven suggested.

"Humph. I see. I'll think about trying some of those sometime." Odo said.

"Do let me know if they help." Gaven replied.

The next morning Gaven was due to report to the infirmary and meet the rest of the medical staff.

Dr. Bashir was, of course, in charge of the introductions which amounted to alot of nodding and stilted but polite conversation on Gaven's part. Gaven was frankly surprised that someone as young as Julian was in charge of the space station's medical team and he was slightly taken back at first by the man's natural emotionally driven exuberance which seemed to clash in an almost comical way with Gaven's minimalism and staunch mental control that came off much more intense and quiet. However, in observing how the rest of the staff interacted with the young doctor and the affection his patients clearly felt for the man, Gaven couldn't help but smile to himself internally a little. Doctor Bashir certainly seemed like the right man for his position after all.

"So.' Bashir said once all the initial introductions had been made. "What do you think of our fair Station, Dr. Ore?"

"It's…Very nice, Doctor. You have an impressive set up here. I must admit I wasn't sure what to expect." Gaven said. "I've been conducting my work mostly out of a Vulcan freighter for the last eight months. It wasn't exactly an ideal place to do my research but the Vulcans were accommodating enough. This is certainly an improvement."

"Oh. yes, I'm sure it would be." Although externally Julian radiated all goodness and light, internally he was secretly taking stock of the other doctor in a manner of detail that no one knew he was capable of.

Julian noted, for example, the subtle signs of stress that came upon the other doctor's features every time he was forced by social decorum to react to someone and return their communication. He also noted how the man tended to plant his feet in such a way that felt fortifying and unmovable as if he was constantly prepared to resist being pushed over. Frequently, when others were speaking to him he'd glance distractedly to the left indicating he was linking something in the present to his memory of the past. Of course that was assuming he was similar to humans. The fact that Gaven wasn't human and that they had orders to not raise any flags about that fact also tugged at Julian's over active imagination. A part of him wondered who the doctor really was and why it was that the Federation was trying so demurely to tuck the man into their back pocket as if he'd been there all along.

Gaven could feel Julian's masked scrutiny of him which the doctor was very good at hiding under the wicker basket of all his jovial friendliness. So, Gaven thought. The young doctor was not exactly what he wanted others to assume him to be. Gaven wondered if Julian came by his abilities naturally or if he had been genetically manipulated somehow. Given the Federation's policies on genetic re sequencing and enhancement, the possibility that Julian was harboring secrets about the nature of his being would have explained why he was working so hard to cover what he was really thinking and doing when people interacted with him. Gaven could tell that Julian was down playing himself. It was subtle but Gaven had spent his entire life on a planet where subtlety was a primarily language. Well, Gaven had no intention of bothering the doctor. He was no stranger to wanting to keep aspects of himself a secret.

"Well, should we step into my office now? I know you wanted to brief me about some things before I, let you loose, as they say." Julian offered.

Gaven nodded and the men proceeded to head to the CMO's office where they could speak in private.

"Now, what can I do for you." Julian said finally settling happily into his office chair while he waited for Gaven to sit down.

"Personally Doctor, I feel I need to alert you to my medical needs. As you know from my private medical file, my home world is covered in a unique type of radiation." Gaven began as he settled on the arm of one of the office chairs so that he could semi stand without making the doctor uncomfortable.

"Yes. I believe your people call it Poxy radiation. Something to do with the unique elemental make up of your planet's sun." Julian recited.

"As you know my people have developed a unique tolerance for the radiation and most of the time we're exposed to it all of our lives. The truth is our bodies are designed to tolerate the exposure and without it our species systems can break down to th point of being debilitating over a long period of time. Now normally radiation treatments are not uncommon on most planets and stations, but in this case I'm concerned that standard Poxy radiation treatments of this nature may not be containable. Considering how toxic Poxy radiation is to most lifeforms you can understand my deep concern." Gaven's tone was deeply serious.

"Yes…I was wondering about that. How long have you gone without exposure?" Julian was trying to calculate the possible ramifications Gaven was implying as well as how a lack of exposure could negatively be effecting the man.

"A standard year. Since I left home." Gaven said.

"Are you experiencing health concerns now?" Julian asked.

"Not yet. But I can tell you, doctor. It'll only be a matter of time. Eventually my nervous system will start to deteriorate and then other systems will start to shut down. Without exposure I estimate the result would be terminal within three years." Gaven explained evenly.

"I see. That is quite a problem. May I?" Julian got up and came around his desk intent on doing some basic scans with his medical recorder.

Several minutes later he finally stepped back. "I suspect, doctor, that there's something we can think of. You are clearly able to metabolize the radiation into something benign given that if you couldn't just being in the same room with you would likely start negatively impacting those around you. So I suspect if we can get thE radiation in your body somehow you would then be able to absorb it naturally. The question is how do we deliver it without causing cross exposure." Julian couldn't resist a good medical conundrum.

"Well we have some time yet to figure it out. Until then it says between us." Gaven sighed. "On a professional note, Starfleet would like me to keep updating their anatomy files. With your permission I'd like to invite members of the station to under go some basic physicals. I'd also like to be as useful to you as possible while I'm here so if you want any help on anything I'm at your service. I would like to perhaps take on some general rounds. I feel compelled to do my part here and I'm a quick study." Gaven offered.

It was the warmest thing the strange man had said so far.

"I think something can be arranged, your tests are certainly on par with most experienced medical officers. What was it you did on your home world, if you don't mind me asking?" Julian inquired.

Gaven didn't respond right away.

"Right, sorry. Need to know. I almost forgot." Julian backtracked as he dismissed his own question. "Look, I could use some help in the early morning and some evenings. I really do look forward to working together."

"Yes. I'll be here, doctor. I'm sure you'll have a great many things to teach me." Gaven agreed.

"He's strange." Julian said definitively a few days later at the dinner Dax had prepared to keep herself company while Worf was running an errand off station.

"Of course you'd say he's strange, you're the one that keeps acting like he's human." Jadzia pointed out as she placed a bowl of Klingon appetizers in the center of the table.

"Jadzia does have a point there Julian. You do tend to go out of your way to pretend you don't know he's actually an alien and one we're not allowed to know anything about." Kira remarked as she wrinkled her nose slightly at the appetizers and opted for the safer looking vegetable tray on the table.

"That's ridiculous, I treat him like I do everyone I've just met. And anyway, doesn't it bother either of you? I mean, aren't you just the least bit curious?" Julian asked in that leading way he did when he wanted someone to validate him.

Both Jadzia and Kira exchanged looks and then laughed.

"What?" Julian felt like he was missing out on something.

"Nothing. It's nothing." Kira said dismissively.

"Dax? Come on." Julian pressed.

"Kira's right, Julian. Its nothing. Its just…Its not really true. Yo don't treat Dr. Ore like everyone. In fact you treat him the same way you do every time you…you…" Jadzia was struggling to find the easiest way to put it.

"Meet someone who isn't human." Kira finished for her bluntly before sticking her favorite pastry into her mouth that she'd brought to curb her latest craving.

"What? What are you talking about?" Julian protested, genuinely confused and intrigued at the same time.

"Please, Julian. Let me see if I can illustrate for you. Who was the first Trill you ever met personally?" Jadzia asked.

"You. But I don't see what…" Julian began to protest.

"Julian…" Jadzia's eyes widened at him in a way that said; Stop being so stupid. You know exactly what I'm referring to.

"Oh. Right. Well that doesn't count." Julian protested.

"Why? Because in my case you settled on a romantic infatuation? What about Garek? Or even Odo? Face it Julian, aliens fascinate you. The fact that Dr. Ore is not only not human but that his life is surrounded in mystery is irresistible to you and instead of just letting it go you overcompensate every time you're around him like you're trying to hide something." Jadzia explained.

"I do NOT overcompensate when I'm talking to Dr. Ore…" Julian said in an indignant tone.

"Yes you do." Kira and Jadzia said in unison flatly.

"Look, all we're saying is that if your so interested in him why don't you just get to know him a bit? I know he seems stuffy but he's actually quite…I dunno…" Kira offered trying to find the right words.

"Nice." Jadzia finished for her. "And probably lonely."

"Fine, fine. He sure seems to have won the both of you over, though I can't see how since the man almost never says more than two words at a time." Julian muttered.

"Actually, I have lots of nice interaction with him it's just they're not in words. Dr. Ore is really a very thoughtful man from what I can tell. Like when he helped me with my sneezing. He saw a problem and he just fixed it." Kira remarked.

"Last week he sent Worf and I a gift basket of liniments and salve. He'd heard it was our anniversary. The card was quite sweet. He's just really good at being impersonally personal, it feels like. He looked almost alarmed when Worf and I came by to thank him for it. Anyway, were not trying to gang up on you Julian we just aren't interested in saying anything negative about the man." Jadzia explained.

"It wasn't my intention to be negative I was just being conversational…Nevermind. Lets change the subject and go about having a nice time. Cheers." Julian muttered, toasting the others as they got on with their meal.

The first week or so of Gaven's arrival proved to be a solitary one. Dr. Bashir and been kind enough to find Gaven a small office space within the stations infirmary to do his work which consisted mostly of doing basic physicals on the available and willing station inhabitants and writing up his finding in triplicate then, with permission, updating star fleets medical data. Gaven himself wasn't allowed to input new information into Starfleets database but he was able to see the results of his work rather swiftly which was good enough. His interaction with his patients were thorough, and very brief. Yet patients seemed to walk away with a positive impression of him. Almost every morning Gaven found his most uncomfortable dialog to be with Dr. Bashir, not because he disliked the young doctor but because Julian seemed to exaggerate his friendliness every time he saw him.

"Well, good morning Dr. Ore. And how are we getting along today?" Julian said as he had most morning when Gaven showed up for his rounds.

Gaven noticed the doctor alway seemed to speak slightly more loudly than was needed as if he was trying to project his voice on a stage and his movement were somewhat exaggerated. Larger steps, more arm waving, broader smiles, and an annoying level of exuberance.

This particular morning was no different. "I'm…Fine. Doctor. Thank you."

Gaven stalked the rest of the way into the infirmary and went directly to his small office almost as if he was trying to get away.

"Well that's…Good. Listen, I have an idea. What do you say to having lunch today together. I was thinking we could pick each other's brains. Maybe talk about some cases I've had that proved troublesome." Julian offered leaning casually in the doorway of Gaven's office.

"Thank you, but no." Gaven replied bluntly.

Julian eyes looked like they might pop out of his head at having his offer rejected so utterly and without any additional comment. In fact Julian was so confused by the man's tone he almost didn't know what else to say just then.

Gaven mentally kicked himself at the prospect that he might have just hurt the other man's feelings.

"I'm sorry, Doctor. I have a great deal of work to do today. I wasn't planning to take lunch." Gaven lied.

Julian waited for the man to finish with a follow up offer but waited in vain. "Oh…Well, another time…I'm sure. Right. Well if you need anything I'll just be over here. Doctoring."

Gaven watched Julian linger for a few seconds longer before he backed himself out of the office and disappeared.

Gaven watched the entry into his office a full minute before he finally sighed deeply and turned into his desk covering his face with his hands as he tried to rub away secret regrets. "Damn it all."

"Bad morning, Doctor?" The blunt gravely tone of Odo's voice suddenly cut in to Gaven's reality like a comforting rush of warm water.

"Odo, hello. Yes, you could say that. Come in." Gaven said, clear relief in his own tone that hinted at how much he liked the shapeshifter and was glad just then to see him. "What do I owe to your visit. Anything wrong?"

"I told you before that I would take your medical advice into consideration and report the result." Odo remarked.

"And? How did my recommendations go over?" Gaven asked, genuinely interested.

"The new chair is helping and I must admit the inversion therapy you recommended has been quite effective and even…Enjoyable." Odo reported.

"Good, and the baths?" Gaven inquired.

"I'm…Still working up to them. I'm not quite sure how much I like the prospect of being wet. Warm or not." Odo admitted.

"More ironic words have never been spoken given your species natural state and the collective way you engage in the Great Link. Baby steps, ."

"Ye-es. Speaking of baby steps, if you don't mind me saying so, you might just consider allowing our good doctor the satisfaction of getting to know you a bit." Odo advised gently.

"I don't think that's wise." Gaven replied though the look on his face said he didn't like the taste of his own words.

"Why? You seem more than capable of making friends here on the station, if you wanted to. I think you'd find Doctor Bashir very likable. Most people do." Odo encouraged him gently.

At this Gaven got up and closed his office door before he sat back down and rubbed at his face some more. "I'm not good at this, you know. This starting my life all over from scratch and having to go around pretending as if my old life never happened. Back when I was stuck on that Vulcan freighter it was easier. I was as about as isolated as I felt. I…" A well of emotion seized up in the man causing him to pause. "I don't want people to get too attached to me here. I don't trust the Federations motives in anything involving the work I'm doing and yet I have to find something to anchor my life. Dr. Bashir in particular is a good man, but he takes his relationships with people to heart. I don't want him getting tangled up in my secrets, Odo."

"Fascinating that your so worried about Dr. Bashir's well being in particular." Odo remarked.

"Dr Bashir is the one that sees me the most of anyone on this station. He's the one person I can't consistently avoid given our work arrangement." Gaven muttered.

"I must say, I don't really like this shroud of mystery the federations is keeping you under. Frankly, I fail to see the reasoning behind it." Odo said, settling himself on the edge of Gaven's desk.

"I should think you of all people would know what its like to be the first of your kind to be commonly identified. Before all this business with the Dominion you were just a unique alien oddity and just another individual trying to make a place for themselves in the universe. Now you're much more than that to both your own kind and others. If the Federation had it within their power to turn me or my work into a weapon to use against the Dominion, do you honestly think they'd just let me go about my business? Right now I'm potentially the best kept secret they have and the Federation is nervous that if word got out of my identity and potential others would come out of the woodworks to get their hands on me. I have no doubt, Mr. Odo that if I were to show any real resistance to the Federation's overtures; I'd be sitting in some isolation unit somewhere being poked and prodded at against my will all because I had the misfortune to be able to metabolize a radioactive element that is toxic to almost everyone else and that has a specifically interesting effects on changeling's in particular." It was the first time Gaven had truly vented about the suspected reality of his situation.

"Mmm. I see." Odo did see very clearly. More clearly than some might have that the alien man sitting in front of him was, in actuality, a prisoner of circumstance.

Given Odo's own history of being prodded at an experimented on, he understood. He also realized quite acutely how much distress the other man was actually in.

"Since you were so kind to give me such succinct advice before, Doctor. Please allow me to make a suggestion of my own?" Odo planned to say something with or without Gaven's approval.

Gaven didn't protest.

"Your a man of many secrets and I think some of them are causing you a great deal of pain. It may help you to make friends. Maybe even find someone in particular you can confide in that is…Better with…Feelings. You appear to be a forthright man, I would suspect you're also one of deep conviction and I'm sure for better or worse your attitudes are part of the reason you've ended up here. While I respect your need for caution and anonymity, I feel too much isolation and personal reflection could do you more harm than good." Odo said decisively.

Gaven smiled slowly after a few seconds. "I do like you Mr. Odo. I'm glad we have such a good understanding of each other. I'll take your recommendations under advisement."


	2. Revealing Conversations

"I'm sorry. I…I can't understand you. I NEED to run some tests if you WANT me to help her." Dr. Bashir was at his wits end as he tried desperately to communicate with the tall red skinned female alien that had come in on the last transport with an apparently sick child in tow that morning.

Presently the child in question was being held by a almost panicked looking Julian as the mother muttered something guttural and made hand gestures that the universal translator apparently didn't register as a language.

Gaven didn't say anything at first when he'd arrived upon the unexpected scene and simply stood in place watching the chaotic looking situation without comment for at least a full two minutes.

Finally, Julian caught sight of him and uttered the most pathetic sounding "help" imaginable.

Gaven didn't hesitate further and came the rest of the way into the main part of the infirmary rolling up his sleeves to his forearms as he came around the exam table Julian had been trying to put the clinging child down upon. "Well?"

"She just came in here off the morning transport and started babbling incessantly at me. Next thing I know she thrusts this child into my arms and starts making a god awful fuss. As far as I can tell the child has a very high fever but I have no idea if that's an abnormality in this species and to what existent. Every time I try to put her down to examine her the child starts crying bloody murder and the mother tries to hoist her back into my arms. Would YOU try to reason with her please? I'm about ready to sedate the both of them and be done with it." Julian threatened.

"Right. Give me a moment." At that Gaven swiftly went around the table to address the woman who was nearly a foot taller than him.

Julian looked on as Gaven gently guided her aside and began talking to her with one or two carefully placed words. Julian noticed he didn't let go of the woman's upper arm and that she had let it hang dead while she made a few slower hand gestures with her other hand and one or two guttural grunts. Several seconds later he let go of the woman and turned back towards Julian.

"Hand her over, please." Gaven requested with an urgent but even edge to his voice.

"Gladly." Julian gently pried the child off him and directly into Gaven's arms before the girl had time to realize what was happening and started fussing again.

Gaven balanced the girl child on one hip as he pressed his thumb and pointer fingers into either side of her forehead and gently dragged them down toward her throat. "Your right. We have to get her body temperature down NOW. She's also exceedingly dehydrated but that should be easy to fix."

"Yes and just how do you propose we do that? The mother won't let me near her with anything let alone put her down." Julian muttered in frustration.

"I can get it down. I'll need an isolation room, a sub zero anti thermal blanket, a large bottle of water along with your momentary help." Gaven requested.

Julian nodded and jumped into action to fill the order quickly gathering what they needed as he escorted Gaven into a private room, figuring the man would explain as they went.

"Now what?" Julian asked.

"I need you to secure that door eventually, I can't afford prying eyes. In the meantime I need you to cut off my shirt so the child can properly latch onto my skin." Gaven explained.

"What are you going to do, strip down and wrap yourself and her in that anti thermal blanket? You'll induce hypothermia." Julian protested.

"Not in her. And only a little in me. You're a doctor. I'm sure you can treat me for it after. I need to get her temperature down now and this is the quickest way. Once its down she'll take the bottle and the mother can handle it from there. But if we're going to keep perpetuating the idea I'm human I have to do it in here. This is a need to know situation, doctor; and you're in a need to know position." Gaven insisted. "Lets get to it."

Julian didn't protest further and after locking down the room, did what he was told. He didn't see what all the fuss was about until he got about half way down Gaven's shirt where he ripped it the rest away to expose the man's toned muscular upper body. Once he was completely visible from the waist up Julian suddenly saw the glaring difference in their individual anatomy. Along the front of Gaven's abdomen was a pocket of what looked like muscle and cartilage. One slot on either side of his abdomen starting about two inches down from his rib cage and ending just above his defined pelvic muscle. It reminded Julian of a gill opening on a shark.

"Facinat…" Julian muttered as he nearly reached out and touched one.

"Later, doctor. I need you to properly position the anti thermal blanket for me." Gaven muttered.

"Right. How do we know when it's been enough do you think?" Julian inquired.

"I'm hoping that she'll unlatch and want out of it and off of me once her body temperature has normalized." Gaven mused.

"In that a professional opinion?" Julian quipped.

"No. More like an educated guess. Why don't we find out if I'm right." He urged.

Julian and Gaven didn't waste anymore time. The anti thermal blanket was a thick insulated cooling blanket designed to rapidly reduce body temperature in a short period of time. Prolonged time in one at least for humans could result in hypothermia and shock. True to his estimation the girl child seemed to latch onto Gaven by her fingers and toes which had little suckers on them then she went into a kind of stasis. Gaven apparently joined her in this stasis and after being secured on a med bed he became verbally non responsive as the child and man were caught up together in a mutual kind of repose. For Julian's part, he monitored them carefully, trying to come up with a quick game plan if something went awry. The experience was nerve wracking for Julian since, for once he felt like he didn't know what was going on.

About forty-five minutes in and just about around the time Julian was ready to pull the plug on the whole damn experiment. Julian suddenly saw the child begin to stir and eventually indicate it was moving about independently and wanted out of the blanket as quickly as possible. Julian obliged her swiftly and sure enough the child suddenly seemed alert and very eager to return to her mother as she started making loud chirping noises and stood expectantly at the door.

"Quiet you. I'll let you out in a moment. Gaven? Gaven, come on. Wake up." Julian unwrapped the other doctor as swiftly as possible and began taking his vitals.

Not surprisingly he was in the beginning phase of hypothermia and it took several minutes for th Doctor to stabilize him and get Gaven to start coming out of it.

"Damn it, you scared the hell out of me!" Julian said crossly once Gaven began to open his eyes and show signed of independent awareness.

"Well? Did it work?" Gaven muttered his lips still shivering as Julian worked to slowly stabilize his body temperature.

"Yes it bloody well worked which seems like a damn miracle since I'm only vaguely certain you had any idea what the hell you were doing." Julian grumbled trying to keep his tone in check.

"Like I said…It was an educated guess. I'll explain more later if you really want to know. Throw me something to wear if you would and get that girl back to her mother before they both have an anxiety attack. Everything should be fine now." He insisted.

Gaven spent the rest of the morning in the isolation room, recovering himself until he was right enough to retreat back to his own quarters for the day. Meanwhile, the rest of Julian's day settled back into a sense of normalcy with perhaps the exception of the usually upbeat doctor seeming a little off beat the rest of his day. It wasn't surprising to Gaven when sometime later that day, the computer indicated someone was waiting at his door.

"Come in." Gaven said from his spot on the sofa he'd planted himself on with a blanket, pillow, and data pad.

A purposeful looking Julian stepped into the apartment and waited for the door to close behind him before he cut right to the chase of what had brought him there.

"Explain." Julian demanded.

"Which part?" Gaven could tell the doctor was not very pleased and had been brooding about it most of the day.

"How about we aim for just about all of it. Hows that?" Julian almost spat.

"Won't you sit down?" Gaven offered.

Julian obliged him but never took his eyes off the man.

"Shall we do this interrogation style or do you want to go with a softer interview like approach?" Gaven inquired, while adjusting his pillow before folding his hands in his lap.

"What did that woman tell you and how did you go about getting it out of her?" Julian wasn't pulling any punched and launched right in.

"Interrogation style, it is." Gaven sighed. "As far as I can tell her species communicates using a combination of throat sounds, sign language, chemical signaling and emotional telepathy. Her clothing and posture indicated she was likely an important figure from a matriarchal society. Perhaps an emissary or even a cultural leader. While you might not have understood her she clearly understood you enough to realize where she needed to take her child for treatment and that you were the right person to see. You'll have noticed her own body temperature was significantly high. Probably a general biological normality, as a mature adult I'd wager that was typical to see. The child was a juvenile though, too young and underdeveloped to regulate it own body temperature in the same way she could. And so, as children are apt to do, the little one likely came down with a run of the mill fever in transit that just got a little out of hand. As for what she said to me when I linked with her for lack of a better word…"

"Linked…So wait a moment. You linked with her? As in telepathically?" Julian pressed.

"I linked with her, yes, biologically. Its more empathic than it is telepathic although in theory if I was dealing with certain species with telepathic abilities I suppose I could probably communicate with them in that way. As I said, this was more emotional and biological. As a result I was able to piece together a few theoretical possibilities. She basically knew you couldn't understand her and was essentially trying to show you what to do. She was highly frustrated by what she deemed to not be so hard to understand. That was the gist of it.

"She called me stupid?" Julian protested.

"…In not so many words. I think a closer translation would have been 'inept'." Gaven replied smiling slightly.

"Oh that's just so much better. What do you mean, in not so many words? Stupid and inept or both SINGLE words." He fumed.

"Can we get past this, please? You're letting you indignity sideline you from your other burning questions." Gaven muttered.

"Right. So how did you know the little one wanted to lath onto you?" Julian continued.

"I figured if the mother could have controlled the child's temperature herself, she would have. I also hypothesized that assuming she was from a matriarchal society that there was a possibility that in her culture males would be expected to fulfill nurturing aspects of parenting. When it comes to survival juveniles tend to do what's instinctual. A hungry juvenile mammal for example will on instinct seek out its mother's teat and try to latch. This child was trying to do the same thing to us by latching on so that it could try to disperse its body heat. We were the only males in the room after all. I made an educated guess that just happened to be right. In spite of my empathic advantages I still use modern deductive reasoning, doctor." Gaven explained.

Julian tilted his head down and then up again as if he saw some kind of opportunity.

"Are the Oum a matriarchal society, by chance?" Julian asked carefully.

He was no doubt trying to back his way into inquiring about the gill like openings upon the man's abdomen.

Gaven knew exactly what Julian was fishing for and tried to hold back an amused close lipped smile. "No, as a matter of fact."

Julian didn't say anything and waited.

"My people, doctor, do a tremendous amount of compensating for the radiation exposure we're afflicted with. While my people have developed a natural tolerance we can't generally escape the logical consequences of such exposure. Birth defects are common, as well as severe deformities and other deficiencies during the development process. That's why my people developed telepathic ad empathic abilities. To ensure communication and connection between those who would otherwise not be able to achieve it through natural biological means. Procreation is carefully orchestrated and for the most part a large amount of natural abnormality is embraced. Even preferred." Gaven explained.

"So your people embrace genetic mutation and deformity…Well that is a new one. You look remarkably developed considering what your inferring." Julian noted gently trying to hold back a deep sense of alarm at the idea.

"Sometimes anomalies happen. About 1 out of every 100 of the Oum's population are born without noticeable defect. Those of us that are part of that 1% are singled out and are generally restricted to subservient societal positions." Gaven said neatly.

"You're punished for being born unencumbered? That's ludicrous." Julian protested.

"Every culture has its unique appreciation for aesthetics." Gaven said an a distant manner. "Anyway, it doesn't matter now, I'm human. Remember?"

"Remarkable." Julian got to his feet as his mind began to spin and spin forming rapid connections around what the other doctor had revealed. "Well in any case, I think we did a far good amount of work today. I'm glad you were there and I look forward to seeing what other professional adventures we can get up to. I suppose I've taken up just about enough of your time for the evening. I think, I'm going to go and seek out a good…game of darts. Care to come along?"

"No. Thank you, Doctor. I'd rather stay in and get an early start tomorrow. I'll see you then." Gaven replied.

"Yes. Tomorrow. Goodnight then." Julian saluted and headed for the exit. His mind reeling like mad despite his even looking demeanor.

"Oh. Before you go, Doctor Bashir. The answer to the question you didn't ask me is 'yes'. I'll see you in the morning." Gaven's eyes had fallen back upon his computer pad though he didn't need to look up to know that Julian had stiffened slightly before he'd recovered himself and let himself out.

In his absence Gaven smiles to himself but the satisfied feeling lasted only a minute before other memories had him scowling again.

For the next few days Gaven kept to himself while working and actually spent a great deal of his time out of the office. Starfleet didn't have any records or documentation on the species he and Dr. Bashir had treated and Gaven wanted to remedy the fact.

This gave Julian ample time to consider the things Gaven had said and not said about his people. More than anything he was finding it frustrating to not be able to openly vent about his thoughts. Julian's tolerance for his own unfulfilled curiosity finally got the better of him by the end of the second day Gaven had been away conversing and spending time with the alien woman.

"I don't like it." Julian grumbled as he and Jadzia examined some data regarding the Poxy radiation they were supposed to be analyzing.

"Don't like what?" Dax asked distractedly as she compared the Data Gaven had given her to other know radiation types in the computer database.

"All this cloak and dagger business we're dealing with. Here we are trying to beat back the dominion. Everything is in shambles, and then out of no where a man appears who possibly could be the answers to all our problems but we're not allowed to know a damn thing about anything to do with him. Who are the Oum? Why after all this time have they changed a major behavior?"

"You know Julian sometimes you need to stick around a little longer during briefings. I think Dr. Ore has been very candid about why he's here. More so than he is required to be. It also seems he's quite willing to answer questions when they're directly put to him and asked by people that are allowed to know. If you want insight into his culture and home world so badly why don't you just ask him about it?" Jadzia muttered.

"I have a little. Frankly it seems down right bewildering to know even a little of what I've learned." Julian confessed.

"Maybe that's the whole point, Julian. All politics aside maybe Dr. Ore left his home world because he was disturbed by the same things you are. Different cultures have different rules and expectations. Usually when someone is expelled from their society its because they're either unwilling or unable to conform to those rules and expectations. I feel sad for him frankly. He's so brilliant and he's lost everything. Did you know that he has an eidetic memory? All of the files he gave us from his home world were transcribed from memory. He wasn't able to take anything off world with him. Can you imagine what that must be like?" Jadzia asked rhetorically.

Actually, Julian did know what it was like to be eidetic given he had the same ability. Though somehow he doubted that Dax had gotten it completely right. It appeared that Gaven had many unique abilities that no one would have suspected.

"What I am happy about is at least I think he might have found a friend. There's this beautiful red woman I've seen him with the last few days. He looks peaceful around her. Who knows, maybe there's something there." Dax shrugged.

"Somehow I doubt it. He's probably looking to write a dissertation on her for Starfleet." Julian muttered.

"Wow, so that's it. Huh. You disappoint me Julian, I thought you were above that kind of pettiness." Jadzia said flatly. "I can't believe you're jealous of Dr. Ore."

What? No. That's ridiculous." Julian protested.

"Is it? Did you see his equivalency scores? They weren't fabricated. Dr. Ore has enough medical and science knowledge in his respective feild to put both of use to shame and I've been through how many lifetimes? He's an amazing asset to have on our side. Face it, Julian. You're used to being th best around here. Your a medical prodigy, everyone likes you…You've already achieved so much so quickly and now your faced with a man that might just be better than you and you don't even have the satisfaction of knowing how much better he is or how he got to be that way. You like him too and it bugs you that you have to really try with him." Jadzia pointed out in that matter of fact way she was known for.

"Well he may be brilliant but he's also deeply depressed, isolated, and…and I'm really at a loss for how to help him. I just wish I knew more about his circumstances." Julian admitted as he thought about the medical trouble Gaven was heading towards and how little Julian had yet to learn that could help him.

"Well considering he gave up his planet, his people, his culture, and his identity…I'd say that is to be expected. As for the rest…Maybe the best way to help him is to be his friend. If he'll let you and if you can manage it. I can't imagine what it must be like to keep such huge secrets about your life from people." Jadzia mused.

Julian on the other had could imagine it, and felt creeping wedge of empathy wiggle its way into his chest. "I'll have you know I've tried to befriend him. I ask him out to lunch, to darts…He never takes me up on any of it or extends an invitation in return."

"Maybe he doesn't like public places. Think about it, Julian. He knows we're all curious about him and generally speaking he knows he has to be careful what he says and where. Yet it seems like when you ask him things directly and in private he's more than willing to answer questions and converse about his experiences. Maybe instead of inviting him out to things you should try spending time with him in private." Jadzia pointed out. "It can't hurt to try."

Later that evening Gaven was in his quarters for the day writing reports and trying to ignore the lurking darkness of his thoughts. The night had been difficult for him with dreams of his final days on Oum as well as haunting memories of particular events he wished he could wipe from his mind. When he had eventually awoken he had found himself in intense emotional pain and had spent nearly three hours in bed grieving before he'd forced himself to try and get some kind of work done.

Writing the reports through the day in his quarters instead of in his office had helped but not relieved his suffering completely and had served only to numb him until he felt completely hollow and wrung out inside. Putting down his pad after several hours of work done lounging upon his favorite couch, Gaven finally put his pad aside and crossed his arms to stare into space. How long was he to go on like this, he wondered. Displeased with himself Gaven finally stood, he'd grown stiff from lounging in one position for so long, and moved towards a display table that sat near the outer wall of his quarters. Gaven hadn't meditated for some time. Preferring to live with the heaviness of his feelings instead of trying to purge them. Maybe in a way he felt that holding onto his suffering was likened to holding on to the memory of his world now lost.

On the table was what looked like a simple collection of crystals and a dark stone obelisk or two. At the center was a small engraved metal box that glowed and pulsed gently. Gaven hovered near it his eyes focused on the box which he eventually took up in his hand. Sighing to himself, Gaven turned around and allowed himself to slid down into a sitting position on the floor with his back rested against the display. He then held the box in front of him and hesitated a moment before he triggered it to open and display th three dimensional image of himself standing and laughing with a figure hanging upon his back. "Come Lopel Ner, look look look. See? We've missed it again. I don't know how I'll ever forgive you."

The audio of the box made Gaven suddenly smile as tears welled at the same time and he choked a little, mourning both of the easy men he saw before him. Gaven raised his free hand to touch the projection which flickered and replayed itself a few more times.

"Yes, we've missed it again, Lopel Ner. We've missed it again." He repeated to himself.

Gaven might have given himself over to a few heart wrenching sobs had the bell on his door not suddenly rung jarring him into hurried composure. Getting quickly to his feet, Gaven closed the box and put it back in place before he briskly scrubbed at his face and upon the second ring brought himself to answer the door.

"Doctor…What, what can I do for you?" Gaven was surprised Julian was on the other side of the door holding in his arms a bottle of some kind of blue liquid and a package of food.

"Good evening, Doctor. A patient of mine gifted me with a bottle of blue Acrelian mead and since I happened to be on this side of the habitation ring I thought you might be interested in testing it with me. I'm told it has quite an interesting effect. I also brought dinner along, figured if the mead wasn't to our liking we could console ourselves with something more palatable. Since you helped on the patient case last week I felt it only fair that you get half of the resulting spoi…" Julian had been making such a show of his own gesture that he hadn't bothered to actually look at Gaven directly until just near the end of his speech.

When he did he was alarmed to see the state the man was in. The good doctor looked sick and pale, his eyes looked more hooded than normal and were bruised as if he'd been rubbing at his face all day and though his cloths were in order he radiated a disheveled wild kind of energy that made his hawkish glare almost alarming.

"Gaven are you ill? You look like hell." Julian muttered.

"I'm fine. Please, come in." Not wanting to discuss his state of being out in the open Gaven saw no choice but to retreat into his quarters and allow Julian to come with him. "I'm just a little out of sorts today."

"Why do I feel as if that is an understatement?" Julian inquired lightly.

"Because it probably is." Gaven smiled slowly, unable to resist subtle honesty just then.

"Well, perhaps its a good thing I dropped by. Nothing beats a somber mood then a good meal, some alien spirits, and some company." Julian said in that over the top stage fashion he liked to use when trying to lighten the mood.

"Really, I'm appreciative but you don't have to do this. I'm quite alright." Gaven protested.

"Oh contrar', I want to do this and anyway I out rank you as the CMO of this station and your physician. Sit and eat something. You'll feel better and it'll make me fee better to see you do it." Julian wasn't above pulling rank and professional status when it was warranted. "I don't know what's going on with you but its been building for weeks and I'm not the only one worried about you. I am however in a position to help you. If you'll let me."

"I see." Gaven said, "In that case I suppose it would be rude to avoid your charity and professional concern."

Gaven settled into a chair near the small round dining table and gestured for Julian to proceed.

"Good." Julian said approvingly as he jumped right into unpacking in that directive way that indicated he was in no mood to be swayed.

For the next forty five minutes Julian watched with a doctors concern as Gaven ate whatever was put before him and started to gain back some proper coloring. Julian was almost certain the man hadn't eaten since the day before and once he had it seemed like his mood lightened considerably.

"Well, doctor? Shall we get started?" Gaven suddenly said when he caught Julian starting to stare off into space for the lack of conversation between them. "I'm sure you didn't come here just to feed me. We should find something safe to talk about."

"Indeed. I know. What was it like on that Vulcan Freighter? You were there for some time, I understand?" Julian dropped out of his stupor and launched right in.

"Eight months. Granted I was mostly unconscious for the first three but it was still a long time. As candidates go I can see why they're a desirable first contact species. I'd been expelled from Oum and was floating around in space barely clinging to life when they found me. I think if they hadn't had some telepathic abilities they might have accidentally blasted my tomb like transport out of space. But I suppose one of them felt something and they choose to investigate and ultimately extract me." Gaven said candidly.

"That's terrible. Why not just kill you on world if they were planning to go about it like that and leave you for dead anyway." Julian muttered.

"Peace, Doctor." Gaven said evenly looking down into his own lap. "The Oum are not as cruel as they sound. My people don't believe in execution. But they do believe in honorable suicide. Though I like to think exile from one's home planet when you are not a species that allows contact with other ones to be likened to murdering a person. In spirit anyway. I promise you I had no intention of dying in space."

"You called the Vulcan's to you?" Julian felt impressed. He hadn't thought Gaven's telepathic abilities were so strong.

"I reached out to anyone or thing that could have been listening on the off chance someone heard me and someone did. As for being on the freighter the Vulcan's treated me like they would most first contact situations, though my telepathic abilities convinced them rather logically that I was probably from an advanced, intellectually aware, and space capable species. Not being a science vessel they really had no choice but to drop me at the closest star base as a refugee. In the meantime though they found me quite fascinating and useful. I think both for my emotional depth and staunch mental control which feels like an intriguing contradiction of logic to them. In exchange for my assistance with some problems they were having they agreed to allow me to learn about their culture and opened their common data base to me. I essentially spent the rest of my trip absorbing information in a containment bay." Gaven explained.

"Fascinating. Do you know how to do that neck pinch thing they're so famous for?" Julian asked with child like interest. "Ive always wanted to be able to do it but can't seem to get the technique right."

"Yes and its probably because you energy exchange isn't fine tuned enough. Humans can achieve it but it requires some telepathic predisposition and projection. Most humans aren't self aware enough to achieve it." Gaven explained.

"But you can do it." Julian noted.

"Yes. But then again I'm not a human and as you've seen I have some telepathic and empathetic abilities natural to my species." Gaven replied humbly.

At that Julian finally cracked open the mead and poured for them. "Speaking of that. I've been meaning to ask you something on the personal side having to do with something from awhile back. I swear you answered my question but naturally that led to more questions and being a doctor and in the name of scientific discovery I was just wondering…I mean if it's too personal please feel free to not tell me about it…"

Gaven chuckled slightly. The first time Julian had ever seen him exhibit bonafied evidence of a sense of humor.

"You want to know about the…" Gaven wiggled a pointer finger between his chest and abdomen indicating he knew exactly what Julian was referring to from before. "As I said before doctor, the answer is yes."

Julian grinned wide and actually blushed slightly proving he was both satisfied and embarrassed by the suggestion that he'd possibly been thinking about Gaven's anatomical features for so long. "Have you ever carried children?"

With a smile still on his face, Gaven picked up his mead glass and sipped from it before answering in that humble though amused way he had of displaying when he was perhaps warmed by someone elses interest in him in a personal sense. "No."

"Is…Uh. Do all males of your species come…Equipped?" Julian asked taking a big swig from his own glass.

Gaven smiled wider and drank again. "You don't have to be so delicate about it, doctor. And the answer is no. I requested to be genetically modified later and was granted carrier rights. Procreation you understand is a very delicate matter on Oum since most of our people are either sterile or biologically incapable of carry offspring safely. Breeding is carefully controlled and often done via surrogate, those like myself are particularly favorable because we have ideal bodies for the task that put less stress on a fetus that is already likely to struggle to form completely in the first place."

"Interesting. For a people who reduce the able like yourself to a subservient position in your society they still largely prefer you for…carriers." Julian's indignity began to rise slightly.

"Life is full of contradictions." Gaven sympathized.

"If you requested to be modified you must have been planning to…" Julian surmised realizing too late that it was perhaps insensitive for him to ask more probing questions about Gaven's intentions.

Gaven didn't say anything but the look on his face said more than Julian was comfortable with.

"I'm sorry. Forget I said anything. You've been more than candid on the subject to appease my curiosity." Julian back tracked.

"Do you want children, Julian?" Gaven asked casually. His smile had dropped away and his expression was momentarily being obscured by his mead glass as he finished it off.

"Well, I don't know really. It would be such a big decision and I haven't really met anyone that fit the bill if you will. Many humans like to be partnered when it comes to these things. But, uh, yes. I suppose I would like to be a parent if I ever got the chance. I like to think I'd make for a good father despite not having the best of models to work from." It didn't escape Julian's attention that this was the first time that night Gaven had addressed him by his first name instead of by his title.

"The Oum like to be paired too whenever possible though more for practical reasons and not just emotional ones." Gaven remarked.

At this Julian was tempted to ask what Gaven's particular circumstances had been regarding the subject while on Oum but he thought it impolite just then and refrained from posing the question.

"Right. I believe its time for a second round." Julian said in an attempt to change the subject.

"Yes. This may also be a good opportunity to explain this game of yours. What was it called again?" Gaven asked.

"Darts. Its called darts." Now it seamed it was Julian's turn to smile.


	3. Questions and Theories

It was nearly three in the morning when Jadzia's communicator went off while she was in the middle of finishing a complex project she'd stayed late on her shift to finish.

"Dax here." Jadzia muttered after tapping the receiver to find out who was summoning her.

"Good morning, this is Doctor Ore. I don't mean to disturb you but I was wondering if you could assist me with something in my quarters…" There was a mild crash in the back ground and an incessant kind of giggle from someone other than Dr. Ore.

"What in hell? Yeah I'll be right there. I suspect this isn't something you felt needed security?" Jadzia asked.

"No but I think it might warrant the assistance of a good friend. Dr. Ore out." At that the communicator went silent and Jadzia decided she had better head as quickly as possible to the habitation ring.

"My god. Julian! What have you two been doing in here?" By the time Dax arrived at Gaven 's quarter's a very inebriated Julian could be found half out of uniform and about 3/4th of the way through one of Worf's Klingon operas.

"I'm sorry, Dax. I guess he was right about that Acrelian mead having an interesting affect on its drinkers. I suppose I could have sedated him but I wasn't sure where Dr. Bashir's quarters were and I'd rather not have him sleep here." A very sober seeming Dr. Ore said apologetically.

"Real Acrelian Mead? Julian! You know that stuff is contraband. What were you thinking and how much of it did you have?" Jadzia scolded Incredulously.

"He had three or four glasses. We both did. I didn't realize we were breaking any rules." Gaven said.

"Starfleet officers aren't technically allow to consume non synthesized alcohol." Jadzia explained. "Particularly not ones laced with hallucinogens, JULIAN. Did he know that before you guys started abiding?"

Gaven shrugged indicting he wasn't sure.

"If you had just as much as he did why aren't you acting like an insane person?" Jadzia quipped while she tried to pick her friend up off the floor.

"I guess I metabolized it more efficiently. I'll examine a sample later if you want a more scientific explanation." Gaven replied as he swooped into to get on Julian's other side so that they could both hoist him into a standing position.

"If Odo catches him like this there's going to be hell to pay. Look, I know its a huge imposition but conscious or unconscious I don't know how we're going to get him back to his quarters, would you remotely consider letting him stay here and sleep it off once he finally crashes? My quarters are just as far away as his are and Worf wouldn't approve of me bringing him home." Jadzia pleaded not enjoying the prospect of dragging a intoxicated loud or limp Julian through the corridors for any reason.

Gaven looked displeased by the prospect but found he had little room to refuse. "Fine."

"Thank you so much, Gaven. I'm sorry to invade your priva…" Just as they were getting Julian to his feet a sudden hallucination kicked in causing the doctor to struggle out of their arms.

"Your a coward Dr. Renaldo! Agent X and I have no intention of letting you steal the Maltese Cummerbund." Julian announced swinging around to face them.

"Do you know what he's talking about?" Gaven muttered sidelong.

"Not a clue. But this could get ugly. Julian has a personal interest in human spy stories. I think he's having some kind of delusion. We should probably sedate him. You wouldn't happen to have a hypo needle on you?" Jadzia asked only half serious.

"No. My med bag is back in my office in the infirmary." Gaven said as he kept his eyes trained on Julian whom just happened to be hovering in a stupid manner rather close to Gaven's display area.

"Come on Julian, calm down. No one is stealing your Maltese whatcha-ma-call-it. Why don't you slowly come this way and lie down." Jadzia tried to coax.

"A likely diversion. You've probably already taken it. Where is it hiding? What do you take me for?" Julian protested loudly.

"Right now? An idiot. Now get over here before you break something." Jadzia demanded.

Thinking fast Gaven suddenly got an idea. "I think Dr. Renaldo is up to her old tricks again, Julian. Luckily I, Agent X, have planned for such treachery. Look there, I've planted a tracking beacon behind you there. If its blue that means the Maltese…Cum…Cummerbund is somewhere here in the room. I've got Dr. Renaldo covered turn around and tell me if the tracking device there on the display has turned blue."

"My pleasure and good work Agent X. Hold her now…" Just as Julian stumbled clumsily to turn around and reach for the metal box sitting on the display counter, Dr. Ore rushed him from behind catching him where his neck and shoulders met with a finger grip that caused Julian to immediately loose consciousness.

Dr. Ore managed to catch Julian as he collapsed, dragging him by the chest with some effort to the nearby sofa.

"The Vulcan Nerve Pinch. Impressive." Jadzia said.

"Yes. Well I am not without certain skills. Though I perhaps did it a little harder than is customary. Our Doctor Bashir is going to have one hell of a hang over when he wakes up." Gaven observed.

"Deservedly so. Are you sure it isn't too much of an imposition to keep him here tonight?" Jadzia asked.

"I admit its not my preference but given what you've told me I don't see that there's much of a choice. I'll take care of him, I promise." Gaven reassured her.

"I have no doubt. Well if you think you can handle him from here I guess I'll be going." Jadzia said with a sigh. "We'll be having words later."

"Don't be too hard on him, Dax. I think he was trying to help me." Gaven said lightly.

"I see. I guess Julian finally took my advice. Too bad he made such an ass of himself." She muttered glaring down at her friend.

"I respect his efforts." Gaven admitted.

At this Dax finally turned her attention away from Julian and centered it fully on Gaven. "How are you doing, really?"

Gaven shrugged slightly. "The best that can be expected, all things considered. I like it here on Deep Space 9. I know I come off…Shy. And I'll be the first to admit things aren't easy for me, but for the first time since being expelled from Oum I feel like I could belong somewhere again and become…important to some people if enough time passes. I hope greatly Jadzia that someday I may find myself whole again and I suspect this is as good a place as any to resurrect myself from the dead."

As was her way to act on instinct, Jadzia stepped closer to him and pulled Gaven into a strong embrace. "I can't imagine your pain Dr. Gaven Ore-Oum but there are many of us who are very fond of you here and would like to see a happier side of you. Try not to disappoint us."

"I'll do my best." Though surprised Gaven did not resist her compassionate gesture and even embraced her back. "Now get going before Worf decides to come searching for you. The last thing I want is to be the cause of antagonizing a sleep deprived Klingon trying to locate his mate."

Jadzia laughed and pulled away. "Thanks again for that gift basket. I can promise you it went to good use."

"As was evidenced when you and Worf came in a few days later individually for medical treatment. Goodnight, and wish him well for me." Gaven walked Dax to the door and saw her out.

Once gone Gaven sighed deeply and glanced around to the scene that was waiting for him. The table was a mess, the room somewhat disheveled, and now he had the added problem of a half naked Doctor laying unconscious on his sofa. Picking up his data pad, Gaven briefly took the opportunity to look up what exactly they'd been eating and drinking to determine if there were any specific medical things he would have to be concerned over. The last thing he wanted was for Julian to end up in a coma if the nerve pinch he'd used to subdue him reacted badly to the hallucinogens coursing through the doctor's system. Seeing no worrisome interactions of note, Gaven put down the data pad and sat back down in his chair as he pondered what to do next.

It was true that it wasn't his preference to have the Doctor in his quarters for the night. Mostly because Gaven's repose was always the worst time for him emotionally. It wouldn't due to have the other doctor come to in the middle of the morning only to find Gaven thrashing and sobbing in his sleep. Though he supposed if he was found out he could always blame it on the Acrelian mead they'd drank. Gaven reflected on the things Julian had asked him. His circumstances of life had been difficult by the end while on Oum. Gaven had lost more than he would ever admit when his beloved counterpart had been killed. The least of which being the dream of the child they had planned to produce together. Now the memory of what they had been planning to do held extra significance to him. There were times, often in the early morning when he could not abide dealing with his grief, Gaven would instead allowed his imagination to play out a particular fantasy to cull his suffering. In it he imagined that before his counterpart had died, they'd completed the invetro fertilization process and that when Gaven was later expelled from Oum he secretly would have been carrying their child. A profoundly forbidden memento of a life that was no longer his to own as well as a piece of his counterpart whom it had never been his place to love. It was a comforting though bitter fantasy and one that made the muscles in his abdomen twist painfully in longing over the genetically grafted womb he'd worked so hard to gain and fill.

Fingering the edge of one the cartilage like lining of one of his abdominal openings through the fabric, Gaven shut his eyes a moment but then reminded himself of where he was and what was happening around him. He pulled his hand away and stood suddenly annoyed with himself. Out of the edge of his gaze he caught Julian stir slightly in his sleep due to the uncomfortable position Gaven and Jadzia had dropped him in. Gaven sighed again realizing that if it came down to him or Bashir he would have much rather been the one miserable. Walking over to the sofa, Gaven assessed the situation and came to a decision.

"Come on, Doctor. Might as well put you in my bed where I can at least pretend you wont throw up on me in the morning." Gaven who was much boarder built than Julian, grabbed the more petite man by the arm and hoisted him up over his shoulder carefully adjusting as to not topple them both as he carried Julian into the other room and laid him down on the bed. "You owe me for this one, I hope you realize that."

Upon tucking Julian in, Gaven went back out into the main room so that he could go about setting everything to right and getting rid of the evidence of their immorality. It didn't take long to put the space back in order. Having nothing further to do, Gaven briefly considered bunking down on the sofa which admittedly was not an uncommon place to sleep before the gurgling sounds coming from his bedroom suggested to him that he might better be served if he saw Julian through the night and, if necessary, prevented the man from drowning in his own vomit. The job of a doctor was never done.

Entering tentatively into the bedroom once more, Gaven stared at the sleeping Julian wishing to high heaven the man was less attractive in his repose than he was when he was awake. Yes, Julian owed him big time for this. Pulling up a chair next the the bed Gaven borrowed the extra blanket from the bed's foot and settled into his nursemaids repose. If Julian thought that Gaven was going to stare at him all night in worry, the young doctor had another thing coming. Gaven planned full well to sleep tonight even if it was upright. "Good night Dr. Bashir. I'm very…happy to have enjoyed your company."

Several hours later the com in the room began to blink indicating a quarter to quarter call. Julian who had conditioned himself to instantly wake up to such subtle beeping noises lest it was someone in medical need immediately jolted up right in a bed that didn't feel like his own and instantly regretted the swiftness of his actions as one of the most agonizing hangovers he'd ever experienced made itself known in his neck, shoulders and behind his eyes. The com beeped again as Julian muttered an almost intelligible "Hello. Who's calling?".

"Well look who decided to wake up. I'll have you know Julian that when I told you to reach out to Doctor Ore I didn't mean having him babysit you through a drunken stupor. If you were going to drink Acrelian mead you could have at least had the decency to invite me along with you. Now get up and keep in mind that its very possible that Doctor Ore had no choice but to stay up all night to make sure you didn't jump out an air lock or choke on your own bile sometime after you passed out. You and I will be talking more about this later. Dax out."

The com clicked off ending the call just in time for Julian to start piecing together the events leading up to the point where he'd passed out. His memory was mostly clear up until about his third glass of Acrelian mead. At which point he just had a few flashes of what had transpired. Despite being painfully hung over he also managed to ascertain that he was likely still in Gaven's quarters and that it was probably very late in the morning and well past the time both men were due to show up for their shifts. Gingerly getting up out of the bed Julian edged his way towards the living room and took a peak into the space. Everything was as immaculate as when he had first arrived and the only evidence that Julian had been there at all were the neatly cleaned and bundled stack of dishes he'd brought with him that had contained their dinner. At first Gaven was nowhere to be found and Bashir almost wondered if the man hadn't left earlier but when Julian plodded back into the bedroom to gather his neatly folded and pressed cloths, he noted that Gaven was indeed still there and true to Jadzia's assessment had indeed been keeping vigil over him propped up in a chair beside the bed. At the moment Gaven looked to be in a deep sleep and once again the man looked unwell. Julian wondered sometimes if his apparent fatigue was more than just emotional disparity and if he was in fact beginning to show signs of radiation sickness from lack of exposure.

Julian got dressed as quickly as he dared and contemplated whether it was better to just leave or try to rouse Gaven from his slumber and encourage him to go back to bed. While Julian had to make an appearance one way or another in the infirmary, Doctor Ore was not technically required to be there every day and was welcome to take liberties with his schedule whenever he liked.

After several moments of contemplation, Julian finally decided it was better to try and rouse the other man. He didn't like the idea of just leaving Gaven sleeping upright in the chair and apart of Julian also wanted to make sure the other man was alright before he left.

Coming around the side of the bed, Julian gently pinched either side of the one of the doctor's knees and shook it. "Gaven? Gaven, wake up."

Not unsurprisingly Julian's efforts did little to stir the man.

Sighing, Julian took a moment to take some old fashioned vitals to make sure Gaven genuinely was just in a very deep sleep. His breathing was normal though his pulse was a little fast, Julian noted. Without his instruments, Julian had to rely on his doctoring common sense. Pushing a dark curl from the other man's temple Julian pressed the palm of his hand to Gaven's forehead checking for signs of a abnormal change in body temperature. This too turned out to be normal but when Julian went to pull his hand away from Gaven's face his finger tips accidentally brushed against a damp part of Gaven's skin just above his cheek bone. Upon closer inspection in the dim light Julian noted his face and throat were moist with tears and Julian could see the doctor's upper eye skin quiver indicating his eyes were rapidly moving under their lids which indicated that Gaven was likely in a very deep state of REM.

Worried for him, Julian gripped Gaven's shoulder and shook it a little more aggressively. "Gaven, wake up. You're having a bad dream. It's all right. Its me, Doctor Bashir. Come along now."

Gaven stirred just enough to expel a whimper and stretch as one hand reached out fingers extended to touch something that wasn't there. His body trembled a little bit as his consciousness ebbed a little closer to conscious reality but didn't fully turn over into wakefulness.

Bashir's heart twisted painfully for witnessing what he realized was a more honest representation what the good doctor must have been privately feeling all this time. While Jadzia had often indicated she thought the doctor was indeed in a great deal of private pain, the weight and depth of it had never really stuck Julian as clearly as it did now. Growing more concerned by the second and not wanting to startle the vulnerable man out of his troubled repose, Julian sunk down on the bed and sidled up close to the other doctor until their knees pressed. Julian carefully caught Gaven's open hand and squeezed it pressing his free hand into the side of Gaven's face leaning in close so that when he spoke again he could take on a more intimate and authoritative tone. "Gaven, I said wake up. You're all right. You're having a bad dream. Whatever is going on it not real anymore. Let it go and open your eyes for me. Gentle now. I won't leave you, but I want you to open your eyes and look at me."

Finally, Julian's coaxing was enough and Gaven did eventually open his reddened and swollen eyes to look at him briefly. Unfortunately, Gaven couldn't sustain eye contact very long before a raw wave of waking grief rumbled up through him forcing the usually so controlled man to crumple forward and into Julian's arms where without reserve he quietly sobbed and whimpered with his eyes and the bridge of his nose pressed into the hollow part of Julian's left shoulder where his arm converged with his chest.

For a moment Julian was worried the man might fall out of his chair and it took a bit of reordering to readjust somewhat so that Julian could brace his back against the contemporary backboard of the bed and essentially pull the other man half way into his lap as he might have done with a distressed child. Gaven, who normally would have been appalled by the whole business for once gave in allowing the doctor to do his job and preform a more evolved sort of beside manner.

"I'm sorry, Gaven. I didn't know it was this bad. I had no possible idea. I promise I won't tell anyone, but you have to let me help you find a way to address this properly. You can't face this kind of turmoil alone anymore. It's too much. You've been through unspeakable trauma and I should have known better, I should have seen how deeply it ran. I promise its going to be alright. Just hold onto me and try to go back to sleep."

Gaven didn't say anything or look at Julian again but eventually his conclusive movements eased and his grip loosened proving he was eventually spent and too tired to bother feeling embarrassed.

As it turned out Julian didn't end up leaving Gaven's quarters until the after-noon and only left when he was assured that the man would sleep without further disturbance for some time. Instead of going directly the the infirmary or even to Dax, Julian made a direct line for one of Quarks halo-suites bribing the first customer he saw to give up their spot so that Julian could utilize on of the programs immediately.

As had become popular, Julian pulled up the lounge singer Vic's program because he desperately needed to unburden his mind but didn't want to technically violate his patient doctor confidence by unburdening himself to one of his friends. He wasn't ready to go to Captain Siscko about the matter either, although that would have been his second best choice.

"Why so glum, chum? How about a song to lighten your spirits." The rat packy lounge singer said upon appearing in front of Julian at the holobar.

"Not now, Vic. I need to talk and your my only safe option." Julian muttered in a distraught tone of voice.

"Sure kid. Tell old Vici boy what happened." The lounge singer pulled up a stool and ordered them both a drink.

"He just fell apart, Vic. In all my years as a trained medical professional I've never experienced anything as raw as that. Even when I've dealt with grieving families…Its never been like that." Julian muttered. "And the wost part is that this has likely been going on all along. He's been here on Deep Space 9 for weeks now, suffering unspeakably and no one knew. He didn't let anyone in."

"Well although I don't know who you're talking about, kid, it sounds like he's let you in. You gotta admit, that's got to count for something." Vic reasoned. "Nobodies an Island. What exactly happened? Did he owe someone money, get jilted by a dame?"

"I don't know. He was kicked off his planet for some reason. Abandoned and left for dead. Clearly its more than that though. He must have lost people he cared about. Maybe even someone he loved. God, who knows what else. Starfleet knows so little about his people and I know so little about his actual circumstances before he came to the station. To top that all off he's medically sick and clearly emotionally destroyed. And so far I can't do anything for him." Julian practically growled angrily.

"Sounds like the guy is completely down and out. I gotta admit I've been there myself and you want to know what pulled me out of it? Good friends, the love of a good woman, and the sweet sweet music." Vic mused.

"Thanks Vic, that's just so helpful." Julian complained.

"I'm telling you, kid. The best thing you can do for the guy is try to be there for him. Keep him distracted, and give him a reason to keep on living. The good thing about losing everything is that you have everything new to gain."

"Maybe your right. I just don't understand why this particular example is bothering me so much. I wouldn't call the Doctor and I, Friends, per say. He's a colleague and a very strange and talented man. But…" Julian muttered.

"So you got a irrational soft spot for the lug. It happens." Mack muttered. "You don't need to be friends with someone to care about them."

Several hours later Julian was looking green around the gills but tolerably capable as he made up for lost time in the infirmary. When Jadzia Dax suddenly strolled into his office looking for him. "Well good evening, Julian. Got a minute?"

"No. Go away Dax I'm in no mood for one of your lectures nor do I feel like running through a postmortem of last nights events." Julian was still very much out of sorts and had been trying hard not to take it out on anyone while he was on duty.

"Geeze, fine. What crawled up your backside? What's the matter? Still hung over?" Dax pressed trying to tease him into a better mood.

"I told you I don't want to talk about it." Julian insisted more firmly.

"Well then. Is Dr. Ore around? I'm planning a dinner party set a few days from now and wanted to invite him. Your invited too if you can manage to behave yourself." Jadzia muttered.

"I encouraged him to take the day off. He wasn't feeling very well." Julian said bluntly as he focused on his data pad.

Dax narrowed her eyes at Julian's tone but didn't press him further.

After a few minutes of watching him actively ignore her, Julian finally sighed and put own his pad so that he could rub at his face.

"Seriously, Julian how did things really go last night?" Considering that it had been her idea for Julian to engage the other doctor she felt she had a small right to know how everything had gone.

"We had dinner and talked. You were right that he's very willing to be candid when someone allowed to know things asks him about himself. He didn't tell me everything but I do feel as If I understand him a little better now. He's a very sensitive man and I think it can be safely said that none of us really know the extent of what he's been through." Julian knew this much he could afford to share with Dax.

"Are you worried about him?" She ask gently.

"Yes, though I'd prefer not to go crazy over it and run to the captain just yet. Its clear to me now that he's in very deep mourning." Julian had logically suspected as much but seeing it first hand had shaken him especially given that he wasn't sure which aspects of Gaven's history haunted him the most.

"What can we do for him, in your opinion?" Jadzia inquired.

"It's hard to say. The grieving process is unique to everyone and he's got quite alot to be upset about. He may never fully heal from his experiences. All anyone can do is try to be supportive and available to him if and when he decides to reach out. In the meantime you and I can help him by figuring out this damn radiation business. We need to find a way to create poxy radiation treatments or the lack of exposure over time will kill him." Whenever Julian didn't have the answer to one question he switched to another that would hopefully prove to be more easily solved.

"Dr. Oum must be able to contain it otherwise he would be a walking radioactive hotspot and people would become sick. If his tissues can contain it then our only problem is to get the poxy radiation into him. In theory once it was absorbed his biology would render the radiation benign, I would think." Jadzia observed.

"It seems the Oum wanted him to die in space. But you'd think that if the Poxy Radiation is derived from their sun then putting him in orbit around th planet would have only killed him assuming the tomb lacked an environmental life support system and rations. To kill him through lack of exposure they would have had to dump him well out of range of the sun." Julian reasoned.

"Does the data we have say where the freighter picked him up? I find it hard to imagine the Vulcans would have traveled too near the Oum's planet." Jadzia asked.

"I don't know for sure. I suppose we'd have to run it by the captain or Dr. Oum himself since we can only look at the fabricated files Starfleet has on record." Julian mused.

"What are you thinking?" Jadzia asked.

"Well there seems to be a few plausible possibilities. Its possible that the Oum are space capable and jettisoned the craft out of the system. Another possibility is that they kept him close to the planet and the freighter just happened to be traveling in the region, picked up on his distress and rescued him. Vulcan's are more resilient to standard radiation so its possible they could be just as resistant to poxy radiation and that this would make it possible for them to travel through the system without much adverse effects. In any case Dr. Oum insists the Vulcan's rescued him and I do believe him. I must admit though that I wouldn't mind getting my hands on remnants of whatever it was they found him in." Julian said.

"Why?" Jadzia asked.

"I want to see if they perhaps put him in something that shielded him from the poxy radiation. When he mentioned the craft he was floating in Gaven called it his Tomb. I've been wondering if he meant that more literally than not. Something about the Oum believing in honorable suicide over murder." Julian said.

"Speaking of customs, Dr. Oum gave permission for the captain to release the data he transcribes about the Oum to us for personal study. He told me he coded it to read like a series of speculative novels, I suppose to ensure no one linked the data back to the actual planet or to him. We're supposed to get them during our briefing tomorrow. The information might help us." Jadzia informed him.

"I'm sure we'll find it all riveting." Julian muttered.


	4. Light Reading and Inconvenient Truths

The next day it was time for a progress briefing involving the senior staff and Gaven.

Julian had considered walking to the good doctor's quarters early and asking if Gaven wanted to walk to the briefing together but thought better of it when he considered that it might make the other Doctor feel as if Julian was checking up on him. Even if that was Julian's actual intent he surely didn't want Gaven to know it, so ultimately he stayed away and prepared himself for their inevitable encounter in the Captain's briefing room.

Julian wasn't the first to arrive or the last but in any case it felt as if Doctor Ore had been there before anyone, likely privately conferencing with Sisko before everyone else was due to arrive.

"Good morning everyone. Lets take our sets and get started." Sisko folded his hands atop the table. "Where are we on the poly radiation studies?"

"All radiation contains energy that is carried by particle waves or streams." Dax began. "The reason it can be damaging is due to its ability to harm organic matter by penetrating through the cell wall where it then damages the natural programing of DNA."

"For example when we used to treat human cancers with radiation therapy the idea was to damage the cancerous cells and destroy their ability to divide and grow." Julian added. "Thus killing the cancer."

"But Poly Radiation is unique in the sense that while it has stereotypical effects on organic tissues it can also directly disrupt as well as enhance cellular growth. Increasing the rapid development of deformities and genetic defects secondary to selective cellular stimulation." Jadzia continued in spite of the confused look of Miles, and the stoic looks of both Worf and Odo.

"To put it simply, it can both shut down cellular development and enhance it, sometimes simultaneously. The Oum have adapted to this effect making it more consistent from individual to individual limiting it to one or the other. Either impairing natural development or enhancing it case by case. In many species not used to high exposure the effects are accelerated causing spontaneous mutation over a short period of time or simply shutting down the body entirely. Its not fatal to everyone and ships can be equipped to shield their riders allowing movement in the sun's area." Gaven clarified.

"We could calibrate a force Field to isolate Poly Radiation internally on a ship say if we wanted to flush out an area. But we'd have to be able to get people we wouldn't want effected out of the containment zone." O'brien offered.

"What if we think smaller." Kira offered. "Couldn't we contain small samples and come up with some kind of incapacitating hypo injection?"

"Its plausible but if we're wrong and we introduce the wrong dosage in a subject it could kill them." Julian added.

"You said the radiation wouldn't kill in all cases. Can you Elaborate, Doctor?" Sisko asked.

"Species that have greater control over their biological impulses such as Vulcans could internally regulate the effects of the radiation in the short term even with high level exposure. There are also species like the Changelings who are generally immune to to the radiations effects but that have other sensitivities that impair them in incapacitating ways. Changlings for example can tolerate the radiation itself but lose the ability to form organized shapes with prolonged exposure after just a few days. The Oum don't know if this effect is permanent but it doesn't appear to be life threatening just limiting." Gaven explained.

"What if we attack the issue a different way. You said, Doctor, that your people have developed ways to make the radiation's effects more consistent and the Doctor tells me that the Oum can render the radiation benign. Could we develop an inoculation to protect those exposed if Poly radiation were to be released in a confined space?" Sisko asked.

"That's more realistic, but I would think that it would have to be calibrated uniquely for every individual species and mixed=species individual you wanted to inoculate." Julian said.

"You'd also need compatible samples of saturated tissue from someone with the kind of regulation you want." Gaven added.

"But it could be done?" Worf pressed.

"Yes. It could be done." Gaven had that look on his face he got when confirming the validity of something he wasn't personally comfortable with.

"Well then I guess we've discovered everyones homework for the foreseeable future. Dax I want you to double team with Chief O'brien to get a force Field calibrated for testing. Worf and Odo can work on a way to outfit and equip our security teams. Meanwhile, Kira is with me. I know its a long shot, but I want to try and reach out to the Oum and see if they would be willing to speak to us. As for you Dr, Bashir, I think you know what we need from you." Sisko said.

"Yes." Julian replied a little less enthused sounding than he'd wanted as he watched Gaven grimace to himself at the mentioning of potentially contacting his people, from the corner of his eye.

"Dr. Oum. Did you have something to add?" Sisko asked.

"Right. To hopefully help all of you with your future progress I've compiled a comprehensive collection of data about the Oum, their culture, world, philosophies, history, scientific advancements, etc. For my protection and because this information hasn't been made public outside of high members within the federation, it has been formated into fictional volumes that are of course not really fiction. I've taken the liberty to tailor your individual copies to reflect information that would be most relevant to you individually however you are welcome to explore as much of the collection as you like. I ask only that you keep your copies to yourselves and to each other and that you not release them to anyone. That's all I have to say." Gaven finished and sat back down while Sisko began passing out the data tablets.

"There's got to be thousands of pages here…" O'brien muttered both impressed and surprised. "Is it true that you transcribed all of this from memory?"

"Yes. Though, I admit, its not complete I could only document what I'd seen, read, heard and personally experienced first or second hand on Oum in my lifetime. There's still much that could be said, as is with any planet and people." Gaven remarked somberly. "You don't have to read it all and there's an abbreviated version for those of you who would rather skim."

"Well, if no one else has anything to add then we'll adjourn. I would just like to remind everyone that the information Dr. Oum is providing for us is absolutely restricted. Please be mindful of when and where you discuss the information and recall that Dr. Oum's life could be put at risk because of this information he has been willing to share. Dismissed."

Before anyone else had time to stand and leave, Gaven quietly and curtly dismissed himself and departed swiftly saying nothing further and making no eye contact with anyone besides the door.

Both Kira and Dax watched him leave, while Bashir stared at a speck on the table, and the others with the exception of Siscko who was watching the entire room; were looking through their individual data books.

"You know…Call me crazy, but was I the only one here that picked up on the fact Doctor Ore doesn't seem happy about any of this?" Kira asked critically to the remaining group.

"Yes, thank you." Jadzia muttered here eyes going wide with emphasis. "Don't mistake me, I m dying to know more about the Oum and I understand why this information is important but I can't help but feel we're violating something here."

"I suppose one could argue that by reading any or all of these we might develop biased impressions about the Oum that could extend to Doctor Ore as well." Odo offered in a gravely manner. "And the Oum are isolationists so we have no real way of knowing what's actually true and what isn't. I like the doctor but we should still tread cautiously. It terms of the Federation he's been very cooperative, but that doesn't mean everything being shared is correct."

"I don't think he's playing anyone. The Federation has the man over a barrel and he essentially has no choice but to help us and have some choice in the process or risk not cooperating and being forced against his will to contribute. You all do realize that if the Oum won't talk to us, which I doubt they will, to develop an inoculation that's even half effective we'd have to use tissue samples from Doctor Oum himself." Julian pointed out unhappily.

"Its true that Dr. Oum is in a delicate position with the Federation. I hear your concerns and want to assure you this is well covered ground. So far as this information is concerned, Dr. Oum wants someone to know who he is and where he came from. I can appreciate a person wanting their life to mean something and he knows that for better or worse the work he's doing with and for us will give his life the meaning he wants." Sisko said reassuringly.

"So, he wants us to read these…" O'Brien asserted. "Well, if it helps me understand even half of a way to push back against the Dominion, then I'm happy to oblige him."

Later that day Jadzia, Miles, Kira, and Julian settled in at Quark's for drinks. All of them had had grueling shifts wrought with problems and it was rare that they were all off duty at the same time.

"Can you believe it? One little faulty duct in the the horticulture lab and six dozen people come down with food poisoning over some bad lettuce." Miles had spent nearly ten hours personally trying to fix the problem while Julian was slammed by the sick and Kira was whisked away by a worried Keiko and practically held hostage until the source of the sickness had been found.

"At least you got to work today. All I did was sit around your quarters being hovered over. Not that I didn't appreciate the concern." Kira remarked with equal parts annoyance and gratitude.

"Nobody gets to complain about their day in front of me. If I never see another Lurian with multiple stomach flu again. It'll still be too soon." Julian muttered.

Of any of them the doctor looked the most frazzled by his day.

"You win." The other three muttered in unison before the ones capable of drinking pulled their glasses back.

"So have you guys…Ya know…" Always a gossip hound, Jadzia wiggled her brows as her eyes went wide. Referring of course to the data books they'd all received that morning.

"I have. I mean, what else was I going to do all day since no one would let me do any other work." Kira replied.

"And?" Jadzia clearly wanted to discuss it.

"And, I don't think we should be talking about this here." Julian interjected as he put on his best scolding professional face.

"How is the good doctor,today anyway? He ran out of the meeting so quickly this morning I didn't know what to make of him." Miles asked in an attempt to change the subject.

"Busy. He got all of the regular load in the infirmary that I didn't have time to handle. He left about the same time I did." Julian said.

"I think he's on a date this evening." Jadzia speculated.

"A date? With whom?" Miles asked. Apparently he was finding it difficult to imagine a man like Gaven doing any such thing.

"An alien woman who's been visiting the station. I haven't had the pleasure of an introduction but it would seem our Dr. Ore is getting to know her pretty well. This is the fourth time I've seen him with her in the Promenade. Don't look but he's sitting with her right now on the second floor." Jadzia gently indicated with a knowing smile on her face to a spot several feet behind and above Miles.

Miles was polite enough not to turn his head and Jadzia and Kira didn't have to because they were facing the right direction and needed only to look up. Julian however did turn his head to look up at them and wasn't surprised to see Gaven sitting very close to the woman with one hand holding her upper arm as he seemed to make slow small talk making signs with his other hand and actually looking relaxed and pleasant.

"I doubt that's what you think it is, Dax." Julian muttered as he pulled his eyes away feeling suddenly annoyed by what he saw.

"Well whatever it is he looks a hell of alot happier just now then I've seen him." Kira noted. "Maybe he's made a friend."

"Are you all daft? This Ore fellow is a person, you know. I'm sure he doesn't appreciate everyone gossiping about him every five minutes. I thought we were here to relax? Come on, Julian. Lets get in a few games of darts. I've still got my wife to get home to yet." Miles muttered, feeling as if they were all children again making oogly eyes at the new boy in class.

"I second that notion." Julian muttered. "Ado, ladies. You can join use if you like."

"Are you kidding?" Kira replied as she leaned back in her chair and reminded everyone that the last thing she wanted to do in her condition was stand around throwing things.

Everyone laughed as the foursome split up into pairs.

Once the men had left Kira narrowed her eyes knowingly at Jadzia. "Since the men are otherwise disposed, what to come back to my place and do a little light reading?"

"You read my mind. Let me call Worf and tell him not to wait up." Jadzia replied.

Half an hour later Jazdia and Kira where enjoying a well deserved girls night in Kira's quarters.

"So which parts did Dr. Ore organize for you?" Kira asked as she lounged on one of her sofa's while Dax leaned against it while sitting on the floor.

"Dr. Ore sent me the sections he transcribed that cover the Oum's limited contact with other species and their early historical attempts at space travel. This includes alot about the planet's ecology and planetary make up. There's also an extensive amount on the planets flora, fauna, and animal life and a large section regarding the city Dr. Our lived in and other notable landmarks. You?" Jadzia asked.

"Sections on the socio-political atmosphere and some of the culture elements." Kira sighed. "Frankly I'm finding it all hard to wrap me head around. The literature implies the Oum have been around for hundreds of thousands of years. All that culture and progress and all this time practically no one knew they were there." She said.

"You want to know what I've realized more than anything else?" Kira asked.

"What?" Jadzia said.

"According to what I've read so far and been able to surmise. By his people's standards Dr. Ore is a criminal. I mean a big one. Never mind whether we're skirting the Federation's Prime Directive, here. Dr. Ore has blatantly gone out of his way to commit the biggest cultural betrayal possible. His very existence here, has defied every effort his people have made in the last ten thousand years to remain isolated and apart from the rest of the universe. He's a traitor and yet we're treating him like…"

"Our lives depend on him?" Jadzia offered.

"Yeah." Kira agreed. "I just don't really know what to make of it. I mean it should matter, shouldn't it? And yet, its almost like it doesn't matter at all."

"Want to know what I don't understand? Everything you just said is true. He is a traitor to his people. But he only became one after they exiled him off the planet. None of it would have ever occurred if they'd kept him on their world. He had to have done something else that upset his people, first. The rest feels almost like retaliation on his part." Jadzia speculated.

"There's alot in here. I mean I've been reading these all day and I've barely scratched the surface. The Oum are a staunchly organized culture. Highly advanced. And yet there are elements in their culture that feel appalling. They have a complex social order, with people like Dr. Ore at the bottom. He's worded it very carefully and respectfully but what he's implying is that people like him are treated like…Like…Slaves. Their not allowed to hold any societal rank, and their owned like property. Bought and sold to whoever can afford them. Treated aesthetically less than their counterparts who fit more traditional expectations of appearance and ability." Kira said empathetically, no doubt drawing emotional comparisons between the none-mutated Oum's role in comparison to how the Bajoran's had been treated by the Cardasians during the Occupation of Bajor.

"Maybe he's justified then."Jadzia offered.

"The heartbreaking part is that it seems very clear that given his way Dr. Ore would have never left his planet. He misses his people and mourns not being apart of them anymore. I feel badly for him." Kira admitted.

"I think we all do, Kira. To some degree or another. How could anyone not relate in some way? No matter what he's done I feel as if at the end of it he's a good man. We may never know the exact reason he was expelled from Oum; but I want to believe the reason, no matter how outrageous in his own peoples minds, is something most of us wouldn't consider to be criminal. Since the Oum have expelled him, I would think he's no longer subject to their laws, though I would imagine it must be difficult for him to let go of his peoples customs." Jadia said thoughtfully.

"In any case I can understand his fascination for others outside of himself. Reminds me a little bit of Odo, actually." Kira smiled at the thought.

"That it does." Jadzia agreed. "Look how well Odo's time from his people has turned out."

The next few days on Deep Space 9 passed without any notable activity. Everyone seemed inclined to stick to their work and the free time of the senior officers was largely consumed with a great deal of private reading about subjects they weren't allowed to openly discuss. In this time Julian and Gaven stayed away from each other, or at least it seemed as if they rarely had any reason to cross paths during their work day. Though no one else would have guessed, Julian couldn't help but feel as if the other Doctor was actively ignoring him and trying to keep himself away. As for Julian's part he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do about it. On the upside Gaven did seem noticeably lighter in recent days. He was quicker to smile and although he still talked very little people saw him out and about more, walking through the promenade or sitting always in a more private part of Quark's either alone or occasionally with the Red alien woman some of the people suspected he had taken a more personal interest in. All in all,Julian was pleased by all this. But apart of him still felt like he was being shut out.

Finally, after fourteen days of little to no contact and after absorbing about half of what Gaven had organized for the Doctor to read Julian decided it was high time to break the silence and, in the guise of following up with Gaven as a patient, went to go see him once more in his quarters since Gaven had been in and out of the infirmary too much for Julian to find enough time to speak to him while he was working.

Julian's unexpected visit caught the other Doctor in the middle of what appeared to be him packing.

"Hello, Doctor. Was there something I could help you with?" Gaven asked nonchalantly upon letting Julian into his quarters.

"Well, I just, um, excuse me; may I ask? Are you going somewhere?" Julian hadn't been sure what he was going to say to Gaven when he arrived but now in the moment he found himself entirely distracted by the obvious fact that the other man looked to be packing for a trip.

"Yes, as a matter of fact. I've asked permission from the Capitan to take a few weeks to travel to Gulba 4. Its not a federation planet but its people are in open talks with the federation about being allowed to apply. That's what the Gulba emissary was here for, she was planning to meet with a Starfleet delegation near by to discuss the matter. She's ready to return to her home world but she grew concerned that her child would become ill again on the journey. I've offered to act as her Gulm Jabib, basically her personal attendant in case the child becomes ill again in transit. I outlined all of this in writing for you two days ago. Didn't you notice it?" Gaven asked genuinely surprised.

It took Julian longer than it should have to realize Gaven was referring to the tall red alien that had brought its offspring into the infirmary awhile back. "No. I must have missed it. You do realize, Captain's approval or not, I have to agree that you're medically fit to go on such an extended trip especially if you plan to let that child hang attached to you the entire time." Julian muttered in that suspicious tone he got when he felt like someone was trying to pull something on him.

"Yes. Why do you think I outlined the mission for you and left it on you're desk for approval?" Gaven pointed out. "I would have almost thought you came by to give me a physical, if it weren't for the fact that you could have done it just as easily in the infirmary."

Julian detected that Gaven was intentionally trying to sound coy and he wasn't amused by it. "Well as long as I stopped by lets have at it, shall we?"

"As you like, doctor." Gaven put his folded shirt down and opened his arms palms out facing towards Julian.

Digging his medical tricorder out and a few other gadgets from the med bag he always carried with him, Julian got to work recording the man's vitals.

"Right. Any numbness in the limbs, muscle weakness or unusual fatigue?" He began.

"No." Gaven responded.

"Diet the same? Activity level?" He pressed.

"No changes, average activity." Gaven continued.

"Have you felt depressed, hopeless, or had any thoughts of hurting yourself or others in the last thirty days?" Julian challenged.

"I've been sad, unhappy, but not suicidal. Lately I've felt better compared to when I first arrived. Useful. Optimistic, even." Gaven admitted.

Julian paused for a moment in anticipation for what he was about to ask next.

"What about the nightmares?" Julian asked, steeling himself for how Gaven might choose to answer.

For Gaven's part he knew he couldn't lie. Had Julian not caught him in the middle of one of his nightly episodes he might have tried but he knew he couldn't avoid the issue now and he knew Julian had waited for some time wanting to talk about it.

"There's always going to be nightmares in the night for me, Doctor. My losses are great and I can't deny I feel the memory of them keenly all the time. But I need you to trust me when I say I have it under control." Gaven spoke with authority now looking straight into Julian's eyes to prove he wasn't ashamed even if a vulnerable part of him had been exposed.

"I don't like the idea of you leaving the station." Julian said bluntly. "But if you promise me you'll allow me to arraigned some kind of treatment plan to confront your night terrors and other traumatic experiences I'll sign off with my approval."

"No." Gaven sad just as bluntly.

"No?" Julian's brow raised the way it might as if he was dealing with a surprisingly defiant child.

"I'm not going to allow you to use something private about me as a bargaining chip, Julian." Gaven said evenly. "If you want to use my mental state as a justification for why I shouldn't be allows to go on this trip then write it into a report, submit it, and then argue it with the captain after; but don't you ever try to black mail me. I'm not a starfleet officer or your subordinate. I will deal with my grief and anything else disturbing to me in accordance with my cultural traditions and my own conviction. Do you understand?"

"Just what are those cultural traditions and disturbing things?" Julian demanded growing cross at the notion of being accused by Gaven of overstepping his authority. "I didn't need to be there that morning to know you're in unspeakable pain and that it effects every facet of your life. Do you think I'm the only one that can see it? We can all feel how acutely you're suffering. Everyone leaves you alone with it because no one wants to pry into your private life. Don't you see I can't do that? That as a doctor and a compassionate human being I have to take notice and try to do something about it? If you genuinely have a better method than I do at helping you cope with your experiences, then fine. But either you're not utilizing those methods or they're not working and in any case it worries me that your so damn intent upon holding onto it all so tightly."

"What do you know about any of it, Doctor?" Gaven asked sternly. "You hardly know what my experiences have been or how the Oum's emotional processing works. So you have a bit more insight into my private life. It certainly wasn't something I wanted you to see and if I'd had any good sense at all you wouldn't have. Oh, and since we're on the subject of things you don't seem to understand allow me to enlighten you. All I've done since encountering other cultures is get shoved around, interrogated, prodded at, and held against my will. So far I've extended a great deal of patience to everyone regarding the business but mark me when I say that my patience has it's limits. I would almost rather the Federation and everyone else treat me like a proper prisoner than this backhanded hospitality I'm being spoon fed. Don't think for one second that it hasn't occurred to me that my rights such as they are here and now are an illusion. As a refugee I don't have any rights. I have become a pawn, caught up in a war of worlds that I have nothing personally to do with. Don't you see, this trip is an opportunity for me to do something for myself?"

Julian didn't say anything for awhile. For the first time it occurred to him that Gaven really was caught up in a strange kind of game that felt wrong to him somehow. Julian could well imagine that the Federation was using him and that everything Gaven had just related was likely true. While Julian felt as if something was terribly wrong with the entire situation he found he didn't have enough hard information to fully understand the scope of Gaven's situation or what could and couldn't be done about it.

"You know," Julian said at length. "Its often really hard for me to remember that you're not actually human."

"I know. Would it help if I had a tail?" Gaven quipped suddenly, effectively starting to break up the tension between them.

"It just might." Julian muttered only half joking. "Mind if I sit for a second?"

Gaven nodded and indicated to a nearby chair while they both took a few minutes to calm down.

"Can I ask you something? Why are you really doing any of this?" Julian asked. "At some point you must have had a choice."

"I suppose you're wondering why I didn't just keep to myself when I got rescued?" Gaven said as he resumed his packing. "Looking back, I wish I had. Anonymity seems to be a very important form of protection among most people, I've discovered. Maybe, I may have been more protective of myself if the Vulcan's hadn't found me first. Their unique telepathic abilities saved my life and also left me exposed." Gaven explained.

"Did you mind meld with one of them?" Julian was back in his information gathering Doctoring mode.

"Yes." Gaven nodded. "The experience was…Unique. Though in some ways similar to my own people's sharing abilities. The Vulcan's were very careful with me after that and did everything in their power to bring me back into myself. For awhile they thought it better that I remain in stasis until I sufficiently healed here."

Gaven tapped at his temple with one finger.

"Unfortunately, I was forced out of stasis when the freighter I was on ran into a bit of trouble." Gaven said grimly.

"Yes. You mentioned something about that." Julian muttered.

"The freighter was on the edge of the Delta quadrant when they received my summonings. They didn't have to investigate but they obviously felt that it was of some importance that they did. Oum is actually located near the quadrant boarder. Once I was retrieved they made a new route to the closest science vessel intending to pass me on where it would then be decided if it would be prudent to bring me directly to Vulcan. But the freighter was interrupted in route by a Breen ship that decided to engage them." Gaven explained.

Julian visibly shuddered at the mentioning of the Breen.

"I have no doubt that the Breen intended to destroy the freighter outright. Until their scans picked up my signature. After that the Breen immediately disengaged." Gaven said.

"Why?" Julian wrinkled his nose.

"The Dominion has a no contact agreement with my species. Once the Breen identified what I was they had no choice but to disengage." Finished with his packing for the moment, Gaven finally sat as well.

"Unbelievable." Julian said shaking his head.

"When I got to Vulcan there was a Federation representative already there to meet me. At least that was the belief. I was familiar by then with your species. So far as the Vulcan data base would allow. Its interesting how they write about humans by the way." Gaven remarked. "At any rate, I was given a choice to stay with the Vulcans or go with Starfleet. I agreed to go with the representative, a mistake in hind sight." Gaven's voice trailed off slightly and he briefly brook eye contact with Julian indicating he didn't like thinking about whatever it was his story was reminding him of.

"What happened?" Julian had a very bad feeling all of a sudden.

Whoever the man was, he wasn't a Starfleet representative. Though I was made to believe as were the Vulcans that he was. At some point I was subdued against my will and taken off planet. I was then promptly held against my will and interrogated." Gaven said his tone and expression implying that the "interrogation" he'd undergone had been of a violent nature.

"But I thought Starfleet transitioned you directly from the Vulcan Freighter to Deep Space Nine?" Julian asked confused.

"A inconvenient but necessary lie." Gaven admitted. "What's true is I was on a Vulcan freighter and in Stasis for three months. Then the Breen attacked. We spent another three months trying to get back to Vulcan. When we did I was only there a few days before I was kidnapped. My assailant kept me nearly three months before he deemed me sufficiently useful to the plight of Earth and the Alpha quadrant. Only then was I released in to Starfleet's custody. My treatment up to that point was…Overlooked. Once in Starfleets custody I knew I had to protect my interests and so I saw no other choice but to disclose further. I can't prove who abducted me, Julian. But its become clear to me that someone very powerful and human is keeping tabs on me and my only hope of real freedom someday is to make sure they are not the only ones keeping those tabs."

"Unbelievable." Julian's mind reeled at the prospect that Dr. Gaven Ore was quite possibly at the center of a true blue spy game."Does the captain have any idea about any of this?"

"Yes. And he's agreed to monitor the situation. Deep Space 9 may prove to be the closest thing to a true refuge I have. However, I am a scientist. I can't ignore my natural leanings towards personal discovery. If I'm going to be at the beckoning and call of Starfleet then I am at least going to press my advantages where I find them. I'm personally very interested in the people of Gulba 4. If it proves suitable I might make the world my home someday if I live that long. Do you understand now, Julian?"

"About your trip? Yes. About everything else…" Julian widened his eyes and held his breath.

"Please don't share what I've told you about my real situation. Its imperative no one else knows." Gaven said.

"Right, right. My lips are sealed. And anyway, its so convoluted who would believe me if I said anything?" Julian said sardonically.

Gaven's mouth turned up but it wasn't really a smile. "Oh, I'd bet that you'd be surprised."


	5. Departures and Returns

There wasn't much fan fair the next morning when Gaven prepared to depart for Gulba 4. Captain Sisko had wanted to keep a low profile though Kira, Jadzia, and Julian did drop by to see him off near the transport.

"Come back to us soon. OK? This baby may need an unbiased referee considering the amount of people that are going to be involved." Kira quipped taking Gaven by the hands and squeezing them supportively since she felt too uncomfortable in her body to go in for a hug.

"You owe me a fancy dinner party when you come back." Jadzia muttered in the casual joking way she was known for that had a slight edge of seriousness to it. "Travel safe."

Gaven was smart enough to let Dax hug him whether he wanted to be hugged or not.

"Kira's right, we've been spoiled having a second doctor on the station with such good bed side manner. Once our regulars find out your gone I won't hear the end of it." Julian tried to sound casual but failed somewhat. His quip coming off as more half-hearted and crestfallen than upbeat in light of the fact that he still felt uncomfortable letting the man leave them just yet.

"I promise I'll be back as quickly as I can. It seems I would risk disappointing a far many people if I overstayed my time. In any case I have to make sure this little girl gets back home safe and sound. She's going to be her people's destined leader when she's done growing." Gaven said with a proud kind of tonality that spoke of a deep kind of intimacy between himself and the alien child who had been clinging to him while he said his good byes.

Kira and Jadzia exchanges glances with each other that expressed their surprise. While they had both been aware the Alien woman was on the station to start negotiations about entry into the federation of planets, no one had realized that the child was actually an active and important part of the delegation. They were also both caught off guard by the level of connection Gaven obviously felt towards the Aliens even though Jadzia had been implying for weeks that he was developing in intimate repore with one of them.

"Do you ladies mind if I speak to the Doctor alone for a few moments?" Gaven asked in the polite but serious tone the others were more accustomed to hearing from him.

"Sure."

"Of Course."

Jadzia and Kira said at the same time overlapping each other.

Both women stiffened and Kira nodded indicating Jadzia could go ahead and speak for them both. "We'll have a coming home party for you when you get back. Take care of yourself, Dr. Ore."

"We'll just be over here…Julian." Kira said in an amused fashion at their display. Both women then quickly backed off.

"You know, sometimes I think those two gush like school girls about you when we're not around." Julian theorized.

"Really? I would have thought they wouldn't hold back on our account, Doctor." Gaven quipped dryly as he adjusted the child more comfortably on his hip.

"I don't think I need to remind you that I don't approve of this. You're not well, Gaven. Having that child latched to you for the duration of the trip to Gulba 4 could seriously speed'n the disintegration of your physical health by months. And, frankly, I don't know if I can figure out an adequate treatment for you if your not on the station for me to examine and test things on. I know the captain has given his blessing, but I'm speaking as your doctor and hopefully your friend when I say that I'm seriously concerned for you." Julian said in a quiet pressing tone.

"You're just going to have to trust in me, Doctor. And have faith in yourself. Sometimes there are things that are more important than ones physical well-being. This trip, as far as you and I know, is not going to kill me. This isn't some feeble attempt to run away this time, this is me exerting my freedom and doing what's right. I need this mission, Julian. It may be the only thing I do that is completely of my own desire and free choice. Plus, I believe this trip will help me in other ways I can't explain to you right now. I know you don't approve and your reasons are sound, but do me the small favor of pretending like everything is going to be fine and you're going to pull off a prodigal miracle of modern science while I'm gone like you seem to so often do. I know if you put your mind to it, you'll make significant strides in your efforts and you'll make it look alot harder to pull off than it actually is for someone like you or I." Gaven said in an equally low tone of voice that, by the end, caused Julian to stiffen visibly despite his usual ability to hid it when he realized someone genuinely saw something about him he did not want them to see.

At that the alien emissary put her hand on Gaven's side and gently led him away so that he missed the bulk of Julian's internal reaction to the end of what he'd said to him.

"I don't have a good feeling." Julian muttered to himself as he dragged himself into a about face and forced himself to walk in the other direction towards where Kira and Dax had moved away, suddenly feeling deeply exposed in a manner he didn't dare reveal in any external way out side of what appeared to be general concern for the good doctor.

In the several weeks Gaven was gone from Deep Space 9, several significant things happened.

Sisko, Odo, Dax, and Garek were accidentally caught up in a involuntary attempt by Odo's mind to "link". Causing them to get a all too real glimpse of the Cardassian's occupation of Bajor.

In another incident, Odo and Quark had nearly died of exposure when they crashed landed on a desolate planet.

And in another incident still, Captain Sisko began seeing visions warning against Bajor's admittance into the Federation of Planets. The visions nearly killed him.

Kira's life was also put into jeopardy when she was abducted for her role in a incident that killed innocent cardassians.

All of these events Gaven was excluded from being apart of and knowing about and it was probably for the best that he had missed the various parties. His own business of Gulba 4 was as mysterious and unknown to those on Deep Space 9 as their antics were to him. Gaven's own experiences were also less dramatic though possibly just as impactive and when it was time to finally return to Deep Space 9, Gaven was sad to go though purposeful in his departure.

His return also was no less easy than any of the other's experiences had been. Julian's predictions about his health deteriorating had come true and when he finally stepped off the transport back onto the Station there could be no doubt that he was indeed ill.

If his general appearance wasn't enough to prove it, the significant numbness in his left leg that was producing a pronounced limp said enough.

At the time of his arrival Jadzia and Dax where the only ones able to get away from their duties to meet him and while both of them were happy he had returned both were as equally stunned by how he looked. One was just more tactful about it than the other.

"What in the hell? What have you been doing on Gulba 4, Gaven? You look like you should be on a med cart!" Jadzia proclaimed disapprovingly as she exchanged shocked looks with Kira and rushed forward.

Kira might have liked to come along with her but her tummy was keeping her at a slower idle.

"You do look a little worse for the ware, doctor. Julian is going to kill you." Kira muttered.

"Yeah right, like he doesn't look half gone already!" Dax blurted.

"Peace, ladies. As you can see I'm still vertical so don't write me off completely." While he may have looked terrible there was a notable sense of ease in Gaven's manner and tone that hadn't been there before. He seemed almost rested despite his emaciated and haggard state.

"We're glad your back Dr. Ore." Kira said warmly giving the man a side hug since she was too big around to come at him from the front.

Though she didn't say anything, Kira felt the man briefly weigh her down more than usual. He was weaker than he looked she realized, though since he was still standing she felt it better not to draw attention to this fact.

"And how is baby doing? Still enjoying itself I see. I'm very glad I got back in time. I was looking forward to being here for the birth. It'll be my first one outside my own planet. You will allow me the honor of assisting in whatever way I can, wont you?" Gaven inquired.

"Are you kidding? I'm going to need a referee when this baby is ready to arrive. I am glad your back Doctor. Come on. Dax and I will walk you back to your rooms."

"You will let me throw you a party when your settled again, wont you Doctor Ore?" Jadzia asked as they all walked together.

At this Kira gave Dax an exasperated look of disapproval and shook her head slightly.

Dax caught her expression and quickly corrected herself. "Oh. I mean. Nothing big or anything. Maybe just a little one. The stations pretty busy these days."

"I'm sure I've missed a great many adventures. You all will have to fill me in." Gaven said."Jadzia, I was wondering if you could see that the cargo I brought back makes it to the lab in the infirmary and that my report gets to the captain. I think everyone will be pleased with the progress that's been made, but I'll talk about that later."

Dax and Kira escorted Gaven as far as his quarters before he hugged them both and told them he'd speak to them in the morning to update the rest of the staff. The duo left him reluctantly to go about their various duties and secretly fret about him in their own ways.

When Kira and Dax were finally gone Gaven sighed heavily and shut his eyes. He was tired. It had taken a great deal of effort to walk to his quarters and the trip back to Deep Space 9 had been uneventful but long. Indirect pain pulsed down one leg while the other ached with the strain of having to support more of his body weight. Limping over to his favorite sofa, Gaven fell into it more than sat and took a few moments to collect himself. Everything felt strained as if his immune system were running out of steam and might break down. Yet for all his physical troubles Gaven felt happy for the first time in recent memory. He felt less haunted and more like his old self before his world had utterly fallen apart. He felt like he could be content now even if he failed to outlive his current situation.

Julian was analyzing radiation samples when a call came through for him.

"Hello Dr. Bashir. Its Dr. Ore. I've returned to the station. If you could pull yourself away from your work for awhile and drop by my quarters I would be most appreciative. Ore, out."

Julian was expecting to be notified when Gaven returned to Deep Space 9 and immediately a satisfied grin came upon his face at the knowledge. Though there had been much to keep the doctor occupied, Julian had noticed a kind of subtle boredom creep into his world. He missed having Gaven around maybe because more than anyone else, to Julian, Gaven felt like an equal to him. Even a rival in some ways since it was true that in some things Gaven did indeed eclipse him.

With a jovial skip in his step Julian put away his work and took off for the rest of the day under the guise of having a pre-meeting with Gaven before their staff briefing in the morning.

His happiness however at their reunion was short lived because the second he arrived and Gaven let him in all the good feelings he was building evaporated at the sight of the gravely ill Dr. Ore.

"Gaven…Gaven what happened?" Julian immediately went into triage mode moving to the other doctors side and cradling the side of his jaw with his hand to better examine the man's pupils while he fumbled through his medical bag at their feet. On instinct Julian began to pull his hand away so that he could tap his com badge and signal a medical emergency.

But before he could do so, Gaven griped his lower arm and pulled it gently away from the com badge. "It's all right Julian. I'm stable, just tired. I promise I will let you hem and haw over my disintegrating health later. We have things to talk about."

"Don't be so difficult. What you need is to be in the infirmary. How bad is it?" Julian had gone into complete assessment mode as he took out his tricorder and ran some vitals.

"Weakness down the left side. Diminished fine motor function. General fatigue. Low appetite." Gaven admitted.

"Pain?" Julian pressed as he tested the muscles that ran from Gaven's hip to his shin. He couldn't feel any noticeable atrophy but it was only a matter of time if the weakness persisted.

"No." Gaven said. "Not related to this anyway."

"What's that supposed to mean? Did you maim yourself somewhere while you were away?" Julian demanded.

"Doctor, you really need to start reading the reports I send you. Here." Gaven gingerly reached for his data pad and handed it to Julian.

Not even bothering to hide how quickly he could read, Julian skimmed the contents. "You did it. There's enough samples to generate inoculations for almost all essential crew. You used your own tissues."

"That was what we agreed would need to happen if the Oum wouldn't cooperate which I can almost assure you will be the case." Gaven remarked in that even way of his that was meant to calm the waters when he knew Julian didn't approve.

"But why not do it here on Deep Space 9 if you were serious about going to that extreme?" Julian asked.

"The facilities on Gulba 4 were more than adequate and besides I wanted some privacy. I've had the samples taken to the lab so that we can work on them together." Gaven almost looked pleased about the business.

"Where did you pull the samples from?" Julian already knew but waited for Gaven to tell him any.

"My skin, obviously. Mostly from the back and upper legs. Some of it is still healing." Gaven admitted.

"Come on. Lets see." Julian indicated for Gaven to turn and pull up his shirt.

Gaven braced himself for the impending outburst he knew was coming.

"Gaven what the Hell is wrong with you? It doesn't look like you used a regenerator on any of this. Don't you realize the level of scaring that causes. Guh of course you do. That's probably why you didn't use one, unless the advancements on Gulba 4 are really that inadequate. Some of this looks angry. Your lucky you haven't gotten a staff infection or worse by now. And what is that smirking expression about?" Julian said as he pressed his lips together and glared at the other doctor.

"Nothing. I'm sorry. You're right." Gaven tried to school his expression into something resembling remorse but failed.

"You think this is funny? You bloody alien. I'm done trying to understand you today." Julian rose up out of his kneeling position and waved his hands dismissively while he stepped back into the room.

"I'm sorry." Gaven actually chuckled lightly. "I know its hard to understand, Julian. I just…I feel happy. Doing this has made me happy.I don't know why. But nevertheless I feel better than I have in a long time. Relieved, even."

"Feel like you've paid your pound of flesh, I suppose." He muttered knowing full well Gaven probably wouldn't get the reference.

"Penance of a dying man, maybe." Gaven said lightly though with a more serious edge.

Julian sighed and walked back towards Gaven before sitting down beside him."You're not a bad person, Gaven. I don't care what went on when you were back on your home planet. You deserve a fulfilling and healthy life and we're going to find away to help you. I promise."

"Any progress with the poly radiation research?" Gaven inquired.

"Per your recommendations we've calibrated on of the shuttles to resist the poly radiation but further testing needs to be done on how effective the shielding will be. Until I can get my hands on something actually infused with the radiation, our best plan of action would be to inoculate a small research team and send them into your system to study the radiation first hand." Julia explained.

"Is the captain still planning to contact the Oum?" Gaven inquired.

"Yes though I think he's been waiting on your return to make the effort. They are your people after all." Julian replied.

"We need to avoid enlightening them to the fact that I'm alive and in the Federation's custody." Gaven's tone had dipped off again into a more serious mental space.

"That sounds almost optimistic of you." Julian quipped.

"While I find it almost impossible to believe the Oum would answer any hails sent their way, the nature of my own predicament with them has encouraged me to keep an open mind." Gaven actually smiled a little through his clear exhaustion.

"I know you won't let me drag you into the infirmary right now, but would you at least be willing to let me give you some vitamin injections and a pain reliever? After the briefing I'd also like to take a closer look at that weakness in your leg. We can probably brace it for now so that your not dragging yourself all over the place without support." Julian negotiated.

It occurred to Julian that though the other doctor was resistant to being ordered about, he was usually willing to comply with most of Julian's wishes if he worded it in the form a question.

"Of course, Doctor." Gaven said as he settled more into the sofa and was entering some information into his data pad.

Despite Gaven's swiftly declining health, Julian noted with some satisfaction that he did seem much better psychologically than he'd been when he'd left. Perhaps, Julian admitted in his own mind, it had been short sighted of him to try and stop him from taking his trip. Whatever the cause of the man's change of spirit, Julian was happy for him as a renewed sense of hope for the future settled in his own chest.

The next morning, everyone met again in the captain's briefing room to give their updates. Per Julian's suggestion, Gaven had begun a potent vitamin regiment ad was now sporting a subtle leg brace and a forearm crutch for extra support. Beyond that he looked a little off color but better than he had compared to the previous day.

"Good morning everyone. Lets get right to it shall we? We have alot to catch Dr. Ore up on this morning. We're all very pleased you've returned, Doctor." Captain Sisko said warmly.

"Progress is being made on the force Field calibrations. We're pretty much ready to configure a shuttle and give it a test run." Dax said.

"The only problem is we have nothing to test it against." Miles added. "If the planet Oum is on the boarder of delta quadrant it'll take awhile to send a team out there in range of the planet to try it first hand. And of course we also have to go out there without tipping anyone off to what we're up to."

"Perhaps we can compromise and reach out to the Vulcan's for assistance on the matter. They've been near the region before and may have data we can compare our own to regarding the shielding. They may even be willing to act as a beard while we send our own people. I know based on everything we've been reading, it seems like a long shot to try and reach out to the Oum. But we won't know exactly were we stand if we don't. I think once Major Kira is recovered from the baby we'll focus on putting a small team together."

"In the meantime, Dr. Ore and I arw ready to move forward with developing an inoculation for those directly exposed to Poly radiation. It won't work in all cases such as with long term exposure but in short exposure periods we have good reason to hope for the best. We're going to need tissue samples from numerous individuals to text against the poly infused samples Gaven obtained for us. Senior staff should be first and then those working in essential station area." Julian said.

"As for testing the poly radiation,the Vulcan's may still have the container they found me in when they pulled me from space. Its external haul would be infused with poly radiation. If you're certain we can create a bearer here on Deep Space 9 then we can start preliminary testing. The artifact is technically mine so they may be willing to barrow it to use or a piece of it nd if not you could probably study it wherever it's being held on Vulcan." Gaven proposed.

"Sounds like progress. Will you compile a list of Vulcan associated, doctor?" Sisko requested.

"I'm compiling it as we speak. There." Dr. Ore put down the data pad he'd been typing into.

"Good. I think everyone knows their tasks. Yes?" Sisko asked, glancing around the room.

Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Good. Lets get on this people. Meeting adjourned." Sisko said with an air of excitement that everyone else also felt.

The rest of the day went swiftly as everyone was eager to get started on their project which were beginning to take a tangible form now that they had more information. Word had come late in the day from the Vulcan representatives that they indeed still had the container they had found Gaven in and were comfortable with releasing it to Deep Space 9 with Gaven's consent.

The remnants weren't due to arrive for a few days however and so everyone focused on other tasks. Gaven also remained in his quarters at the request of Julian. Until they had enough volunteers it seemed pointless to push the doctor to work more than he had to and for once Gaven didn't argue with Julian about it.

Not surprisingly several of the stations officers dropped by to contribute their tissue samples so that Julain could at least get a small start on their project. Dax being one of the last to drop by.

"How's it going so far?" Jadzia asked while she waited for Julian to finish taking the small tissue sample he needed.

"Fine, considering how shush shush we're having to be about it. I have confidence we can make substantial progress developing an inoculation. It has to be calibrated for everyone individually for now but thankfully Deep Space 9 is one of the most diverse communities I've ever served on. It gives us advantage in this case." Julian admitted.

"I take it Dr, Ore provided the test tissue. That was…" Jadzia was cut off by Julain.

"Stupid. He didn't need to go to that extreme. We could have done it gradually and far less invasive here on the station." He said.

"You seem upset about the situation. I would have thought you of all people would be excited." Dax observed.

"Gaven's health is unstable. As far as his time here goes on the station I am his physician and I would have never agreed with what he did to himself or the way he went about it."

"Julain, it had to be done." Dax said reproachfully.

"Yes, yes. I know. I just wish he hadn't done it without me. I could have helped him and maybe he wouldn't have come out as worse for the wear. On some level he's convinced he's going to die over all this, maybe he's even subconsciously trying to speed the inevitability along. I find it frustrating. I find him frustrating. I've never dealt with such a secret and stubborn man." Julian lamented.

"At least he's back now where we can all support him." Jadzia sighed and adjusted herself so that she could get back to work for a few more hours. "I'm sure he didn't mean to leave you out, Julian. Sometimes I think he just hates to be vulnerable especially in front of you. His respect for you is obvious. He trusts you maybe more than any of us. But we can't forget he's still hurting over things we don't fully understand." Dax observed. "He has a right to be secretive and like I've said before if you really want to know how he feels about things, just ask him. In the meantime, I've got work to do. Don't think about it too hard. OK?" At that Dax pecked him on the cheek and hurried out without a second thought.


	6. The Doctor Is In

The next day it was Odo's turn to be confronted with strange and uncomfortable feelings about where he stood with certain people. Much to his surprise Quark had shown up in the infirmary to present him with something he couldn't say no to. A baby changeling, I Quarks possession no doubt because of one of his many shady deals.

At first neither he, Doctor Bashir, or Sisko knew what to make of the situation.

"Are you sure it poses no danger to us, Constable?" Sisko asked with both amazement and levity as he and Odo discussed the situation with Julian following along.

Odo found himself instantly alarmed by the question. "When I was first discovered, I didn't know what I was. I had no memory of where I was from. I didn't even know I had the ability to mimic other forms.

"Why would the Founders send such helpless creatures out into space?" The thought seemed cruel to Sisko.

"To find out if the species they encountered posed any threat. What better way to gauge another race than to see how it treats the weak and vulnerable." Odo offered.

"I see your point." Sisko remarked as he allowed himself to consider the matter for a few seconds before going on. "How long before it is able to take humanoid form?"

At this question, Odo's anxiety swelled slightly. "Several months. Why?"

"Well, there's still alot we don't know about your people. The Changelings could provide Starfleet with invaluable information about the Dominion." Sisko pointed out.

"With that being the case, I like to be allowed to work with it—to teach it how to shape shift." Odo said hastily.

"Oh, I can't think of anyone better qualified." Sisko agreed, though there was a quiver of hesitation in his tone. "You might just want a little help. Maybe you should contact Dr. Mora."

Odo's eyes widened at the suggestion which clearly had caught him off guard. "Mora? Why?"

"Well, he managed to find a way to communicate with you. He obviously knows what he's doing." Sisko observed.

Odo wasn't so sold on the matter, knowing the doctor better than the captain did. "Maybe so, but…I prefer to do this alone."

"Its your call." Sisko replied, accepting the other man's resistance on the matter. Of course he wasn't about to just leave it at that and before he left Odo alone the captain turned at the last minute to leave a parting remark. "But, huh, it's always nice to have someone around to help change the diapers."

I'll…keep that in mind." Odo said with genuine consideration.

While he knew the captain was right, deep down he wondered if Sisko really understood what he was asking and the underlying threat Odo sensed was on the horizon if the sick changeling lived. He certainly needed help, but Dr. Mora wasn't the first choice that came into his mind.

"The purge was almost 100% effective. The concentration of isotopes is nearly negligible." Dr. Bashir explained gently some time later as he and Odo hovered over the container that contained the infant changling's sickly natural form.

"Well, it certainly looks healthier." Odo observed appraisingly.

"Well, I'd better go check on Kira. Did you hear? She in labor?" Bashir asked, realizing rather quickly that Odo's attention couldn't be swayed just then from anything other than his own unexpected arrival. "I guess you have your own baby to think about."

This last word did manage to penetrate as Odo straightened somewhat in response to the doctor's choice of words. Was it true he was indeed acting like an anxious father? Odo didn't have time just then to consider the deeper meaning within the possibility.

"There is still a small degree of instability in its morphagenic matrix. But I'm hoping it'll level out. I've set the computer to monitor for biomimetic fluctuations just in case." Julian reassured him as he prepared to leave.

Once alone, Odo began to converse with the changeling despite knowing it probably couldn't understand him yet. Old hurt had swelled in him as memories of his own painful beginning surfaced and a deep sense of protective hopefulness came over him with such strength he had no choice other than to embrace it.

"No. I'm not going to make the same mistakes with you that were made with me." Odo found himself promising.

In that moment Odo gave himself over to the irrational love and connection he felt. Things were indeed going to be different this time. He would make sure of it.

"Come on." He said almost breathlessly. "I want to show you something."

Later after Odo had taken the changeling around to some of his favorite places, tell it about the station and promising that it could live there forever if it wanted, he returned to the med lab to give it more room.

Alone again with the changling, Odo couldn't help but regale it with awe and pride about what it was and what it could be someday. His love for it and the excitement of raising it to be everything it could be in spite of his own deficiencies was gaining rapid momentum in the Constable's mind. The more he felt and thought about it, the more he was determined to help and teach the changeling on his own without the interference of Mora or anyone else who might have possessed ulterior motives.

He's conviction was practically set when the doors of the isolation room opened and a familiar voice sliced through all of Odo's lofty visions of what was to come.

"Odo!" Doctor Mora called in greeting as he intruded into the room.

"Dr. Mora. What are you doing here?" Ado demanded hardly believing his eyes.

Surprised by is tone, Dr. Mora approached him. "Well, I heard about the changeling. I came to help."

After a short and testy conversation between the men about their individual intentions, both saw it wise to leave the medical room for awhile. Odo in particular was upset. Upset about everything and he wasn't sure who to turn to with Dr. Bashir and Kira being occupied. With most of his most important allies unavailable, something finally occurred to him again that had crossed his mind earlier. Dr. Mora wasn't the only one on the station out side of himself intimately familiar with the changelings. There was Gaven. Odo knew from past observations that Gaven would understand his position and feelings. He had to talk to him.

He had to talk to someone.

Gaven was in his quarter getting ready to drop in on Kira who had extended an invitation to assist Dr. Bashir during the delivery. He was surprised when his door rang and a disgruntled Odo was let into his living quarter.

"Odo…What is it?" Gaven could tell something was wrong.

"If that man thinks…Of all the people…I just can't believe this is happening." Odo fumed.

"Odo, what?" Gaven was deeply concerned.

"What, haven't you heard? Quark acquired a baby changeling. It's sick. It been in the infirmary most of the day under the care of Dr. Bashir." Odo explained.

Gaven looked about as stunned as Odo had in the beginning. "A baby changeling…Was Dr. Bashir able to stabilize it's condition? What are they going to do with it?"

"Yes. It's not completely out of the woods yet, but the Doctor was able to remove the radiation isotopse that had sickened it. And what do you think their going to do?" Odo asked.

"Well given my experience with Starfleet and their feelings on the Dominion, I'd say they're going to do everything they can to exploit this opportunity." Gaven said tensely.

"Not if I have anything to say about it, Doctor. I'm not about to let anyone poke and experiment on it like I was. To abuse it and treat it like a science experiment instead of the sentient life that it is. Dominion or not, this is just a baby. A infant. Barely aware of anything happening to it. Captain Sisko agreed to allow me to handle the situation as I saw fit and mark me when I say I still plan to do just that. But somehow the presence of the changeling has gotten back to someone I'd rather stayed the Hell out of it." Odo explained.

"Who?" Gaven was doing his level best to stay calm and impartial.

"A Dr. Mora. Mora was the Bajoran scientist who discovered me. He's here on the station thinking he is going to be involved in this. But the truth is I don't want him anywhere near the changeling. I can't tolerate the thought he might try one of his…tactics. Do you know he actually suggested that I wasn't fit to teach the changeling? He likes to go around pretending he's father when he was nothing but a to eager scientist back I the old days. He actually tried to manipulate the situation, dangling access to his knowledge about changeling development in front of me in exchange for his involvement all because he thinks he's the only one that knows." Odo fumed nearly on the verge of tears.

"I'm sorry he hurt you, Odo." Gaven placed his hand upon the other man's shoulder in support.

"What happened to me is…Irrelevant. His tests. I can teach the changeling to shapeshift without such measure. Do you know that after all these years Dr. Mora isn't even sorry?" Odo asked rhetorically.

"I'm sure that's not completely true, but I believe he'd not think twice about making you believe it was. What can I do to help you?" Gaven asked.

"Your knowledge about the changelings is extensive, is it not?" Odo inquired with a tinge of hope.

"Yes." Gave pulled away and crossed his arms. "As you know my people hold the changeling species in highest regards. All of my culture is brought up with a basic understanding of them and they are one of the few off world species I was permitted to study at length."

"Would you be willing to help me help the changeling in whatever way it needs?" Odo asked.

Gaven face flushed slightly. "It would be my pleasure to help you Odo in whatever way I can. Though its important I not draw too much attention to myself. Kira has invited me to attend the birth of the O'brien's baby. I'm going there now but after I'll make sure to check on the changeling and share my thoughts. I…I'm very happy for you, Mr. Odo. Congratulations."

At that Gaven unexpectedly moved forward and gave Odo a brief hug before shaking his fists in his hand in a congratulatory gesture.

Though surprised by this Odo could almost feel how genuinely happy the other man was for him. It appeared that he'd come to the right person.

By the time Gaven parted with Odo and made his way to the birthing area that had been set up for Kira most of the excitement had already come and gone. It looked as if Kira wasn't going to deliver that day at all. Gaven arrived just as the Bajoran midwife was on her way out.

"Well, I hope I haven't missed the excitement." Gaven said, announcing himself to the assembly.

Kira's face lit up when she saw him. "Oh, I almost forgot you were coming. Please come in Dr. Ore. I want to introduce you to some people.I don't know if you've formally met Keiko O'brien and this is Shaakar Edom the first Minister of Bajor."

"A pleasure to meet everyone. And what seems to be the trouble here? I was expecting to meet someone important today." Gaven approached them coming up along side Kira to hug her and acknowledge the unborn child still in her womb.

"We hit a snag." Kira chuckled In spite of the situation.

"Traditional Bajoran births require the mothers be completely relaxed in order to fully induce dilation." Bashir explained as he finished putting away his tools.

"I see. May I?" Gaven requested indicating he wanted to see for himself the state of the child's wellbeing.

"Of course." Kira eagerly allowed him to press gently upon her swollen stomach knowing he could link directly to the child.

Seeing this seemingly intimate act Shaakar Adom cleared his throat slightly.

"Well, baby is happy even if the rest of you aren't. I anticipate at least another week or two." Gaven remarked.

"God, that's what the midwife said." Keiko blurted trying to cover up her apprehensions with supportive positivity. "We're all very excited."

"Of course. This is just for-shadowing for happy days to come." Gaven agreed.

Before the conversed further, Shaakar Odom gently excused himself. "I still need to go re-arriange those plans. I'll check in on you later if I can."

"Oh OK." Kira said allowing Shaakar to kiss her on the temple.

"Well if you don't need us I think we're going to go back to our quarters. I'm sure you'll join us later Kira?" Keiko said.

"What? We're already going? But I was just starting to get the hang of this cymbal-" When Kira wasn't looking Keiko kicked Miles lightly in the shin signaling him to follow here. "I mean, I suppose I could use a little more practice. We'll see you later."

When everyone had gone except Kira and Gaven, Kira sighed heavily. "Why do I get the impression everyone is suddenly mad at me?"

"Not mad, just disappointed. Come on. I'll help you off that bed. I take it that Bajorans don't believe in bed rails." Gaven quipped.

"Har har. Its not like I want to be pregnant any longer than I have to be. None of this was my idea, you know? I mean I never imagined myself having my own children and now I'm completely responsible for the well being of someone else's. Have you ever thought about having children, Dr. Ore?" Kira got the rest of the way to her feet and leaned heavily on Gaven for temporary support.

"Yes, as a matter of fact. I did plan to have children." Gaven hesitated. "My counterpart on Oum and I were in the final planning stages as a matter of fact."

"Oh no. Please. I'm not being insensitive, am I?" Kira asked a little taken back.

It was the first time she'd ever heard Gaven talk about his personal life in this way.

"No Major, its fine. Its in the past. Clearly my life went in an unexpected direction." Gaven shrugged and began to walk her out. "But yes, once upon a time having a child was very important to me."

"Well for the record. I think you would have made for a wonderful parent." Kira wobbled to the door along with Gaven. "What am I going to do? I have to go back there and face the O'briens."

"They do understand, Kira. But I tell you what, I have a surprise for you and Keiko that might make you both feel better." Gaven hinted.

When they got back to the O'brien's quarters it was clear in spite her best efforts to cover it up that Keiko had been crying, no doubt overwhelmed with secret disappointment she hadn't wanted to take out on Kira.

"Mr. And Mrs. O'brien, do you mind if I come in for just a second?" Gaven asked after he's released Kira from his arm.

"Huh, of course Doctor Ore. We were just planning to put supper on." The chief looked almost grateful to see Gaven maybe because the presence of the other man made him feel less outnumbered after such an emotional ordeal.

"Oh yes please eat with us, Doctor." Keiko insisted, ever the gracious host.

"Another time. Thank you. I know this is a very exciting though stressful time for all of you. Chief, I was wondering if I could barrow Keiko and Kira for a little bit. If it won't delay your meal to long.

"For what? Is something wrong?" Keiko exchanged looks with her husband and Kira.

"I don't know what he's planning but I suspect it's a good things." Kira assured her.

"Since I think none of us got what we wanted today, I thought I might offer a present to you ladies since I missed out on the celebration when I left. In my travels and studies of other life forms I've discovered a few talents of my own along the way." Gaven said.

Kira gasped lightly. "I know what this is. Gaven, are you sure?"

Gaven smiles lightly while he briefly shutting his eye. "I suspect Keiko can be trusted."

"Just what the Hell are you all going on about?" Miles asked feeling as if he wasn't being let in on a joke.

"Gaven has a particular talent. A telepathic predisposition. It's one of the reasons he's such a good doctor. I think he wants to help us talk to the baby." Kira offered.

"What? You can do that?" Miles asked in disbelief.

"Something like that. Its more biological than psychic but now that the baby is farther along it isn't difficult. All three of you already have a biological and emotional link with the child. I can just help you open a channel. Come on. Everyone sit down."

Miles and Gaven helped Kira lower herself onto the sofa before Miles and Keiko took a seat on either side of her. Gaven carefully took position on the coffee table in front on of them with his crutch down on the floor.

"Alright. I'm going to open the channel first with Kira and once its established you both can join in." Gaven explain.

"What do we do?" Miles asked.

"Just wait for my word and then rest a hand on the baby. You should feel a rush and then you'll be connected. It may feel uncomfortable for a moment, but I promise the discomfort will subside." Gaven reassured them.

Everyone got in position and after a few moments with Gaven forming the link he exhaled sharply and nodded. "Now."

Both miles and Keiko gently placed one hand on either side of Gaven's and waited. Sure enough within second Keiko gasped and here eyes went wide and began to well with unshed tear.

"Oh my god. Miles…" Keiko stared at her husband who had a surprised look on his face only not as intensely as his wife had.

'It's happy. I can actually feel what it's feeling." Miles muttered.

"The connect goes both ways. The baby can feel your love for it. It knows who you are and con recognize you." Gaven explained quietly since he had to maintain his focus.

"Its like he's inside me still. It feels so real. I'm so happy to be your mommy." Keiko said to the unborn child.

"Everyone here loves you." Kira said as she tried her best to keep her own composure.

"We're going to see you soon my fine boy." Miles promised.

Gaven held the link for several minutes before fatigue forced him to disengage. Miles caught him by the arm to steady him as he pulled away since it seemed as if Gaven was at risk of passing out.

Coming fully into himself a satisfied smile broke out on his face. "Well I think my work here is done. Please, carry one everyone and have a good supper. I must be away. I still have another house call to make today."

Carefully Gaven got to his feet only to be instantly seized first by Keiko who thanked him and gave him a kiss on the cheek and then by Miles who seized his forearm to shake it with deep gratitude. Kira just laughed at this display as she saw Gaven blush deeply at the shows of gratitude and affection.

"Yes. It was my pleasure. Kira,I'll be sure to be there when it's time." Gaven promised.

"I think it's safe to say you'll be more than welcome." Kira chuckled and encouraged Gaven to bend down so she could give him a parting hug. "Thank you for what you did."

Though tired, Gaven had one more stop to make. He wanted to see the young changeling for himself.

The moment Gaven entered the isolation room he gasped at the sight of the changeling sitting in its container and unexpected tears welled up in his eyes.

Julian had just finished his last surgery for the day and also came to check on the changeling when he saw the emotional expression on the other doctor's face.

"Gaven, are you alright?" Julian asked idly trying to pretend he hadn't noticed how moved the other doctor was.

Gaven let out a sigh. He hadn't realized he'd been holding his breath until Julian interrupted him. "All my life I've studied them, doctor. Never once in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would meet one. And now I've met two and one a newling. Doctor, this may be one of the finest moments of my life."

"You sound like Odo." Julian remarked.

"I'm sure. Speaking of, Odo told me the changeling was sick with radiation exposure." He mused.

"Tetryon radiation. I've successfully purged it of the isotopes and it's stable now or nearly so." Julian explained.

"Mm. Their could be residual damage the equipment isn't seeing." Gaven remarked.

"How do you propose we test for it? I've done about as much as can do already." Julian frowned.

"If there's a problem at this stage it'll be on the cellular level. Since radiation damages cell walls and changeling's rely on their ability to manipulate their cell structures when shape shifting we need to develop a treatment in the event something goes awry. Luckily we have Odo." Gaven remarked.

"Odo can't change form. They've altered something preventing his morphing abilities." Julian reminded him.

Genetically he's still a changeling. Granted it would be much easier if Odo could link with it. We could keep them together long enough for the baby to repair and duplicate it's genetics off of odo's genetic framework. Baring that I can develop a therapy to do the same thing if we need it." Gaven explained.

"Well, you are the resident expert at alien genetics. If anyone has a solution, you would." Coming around the table Julian briefly scanned Gaven."You seem tired today. Maybe it's wise to put off further doctoring until tomorrow. Just a suggestion."

"I agree. I'll see you later, Doctor." Gaven lingered a moment longer to gaze at the changeling before he took his leave.

Later, Julian had agreed to meet up with miles for after dinner drinks.

"I'm telling you, Julian. It was incredible. The experience made Keiko's day." Miles remarked happily having discreetly relayed what Gaaven had done for them earlier. "He's a strange kind of man. Isn't he?"

"No more strange than any compassionate person, I would say. Though sometimes I do think he overcompensates." Julian remarked throwing one of the darts in his hand and making sure it landed well but not too well.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Miles asked, not really being the intuitive type.

"I don't know. He just always wants to be so helpful. Inserting himself into everyones personal situations. Aways ready with just the right talent or bit of knowledge or kind word. But does he genuinely ever share himself with anyone? No. Has he mentioned to anyone what he did while he was away on Gulba 4? No. He went and came back and that was that. Sometimes I wonder under all that politeness and accommodating grace if their isn't someone else there." Julian pointed out.

"Well even if that's true, he can't really share much. Can he? Half of everything is shush shush, the rest in nothing but pain and torment for him it seems. I mean what exactly do you want from the man?" Miles inquired.

"I want him to be…Less perfect." Julian admitted.

"You mean more human." Miles corrected him. "As far as I can tell the man is pretty buttoned up. Except when he's working or paying house calls I almost never see him out on the promenade or conversing with anyone outside of the senior staff. I mean, he's got no real friends." Miles noted.

"That's not true. I'm his friend. Kira and Dax adore him ad see him every chance they get." Julain protested.

"Look, all I'm saying is there's a right bloody difference between being friendly and available to folks and actually being their friend. That man's got himself over a barrel with Starfleet. If he's not 100% cooperative what do you think would happen?" Miles asked.

"I see your me alot of Garek actually." Julian remarked.

"Yeah well all I know is that he helped smooth over an otherwise very stressful situation today. I don't want to sound ungrateful…" Miles began.

"But this arraignment with the baby and Kira would have never been your first choice. I understand. Kira knows that too. We all just have to be as kind as possible to each other about it because once the baby is here none of it will really matter." Julian reassured him.

"At least I'm not the only one having parental problems. What exactly are we going to do with this changeling on board?" Miles inquired.

"Take care of it, raise it well, I think Odo is warming to the idea of playing father." Julian replied throwing another dart.

"You really think it's going to be that easy do ya? That the federation is just going to let a changeling grow up here with out any interference what so ever. I'm amazed they haven't already whisked it away by now." Miles pointed out.

"The changeling is an innocent sentient life form. It hardly knows what it is yet." Julian argued.

"Yes well that's not always going to be how it is, now is it? Once that thing starts holding shapes and mimicking everything it sees. In times of wae there isn't any such thing as being Innocent. One way or another someone or something pulls you into the mix. All I'm saying is that I thin you all better be realistic about the consequences of that changeling being here. Sooner or later it is going to come to a head." Miles warned him.

"Well I guess we'll just have to cross that bridge when we come to it. In the meantime its your turn to shoot." Julian said effectively ending the subject for now.


	7. Baby Blues

A week later.

"Do you know whose arriving today?" Jadzia asked as she helped Gaven look over the specs of the containment Field they were calibrating to receive the carrier remnants currently en route.

"Honestly I didn't bother to look. I'm sure whoever it is, they'll prove useful." Gaven replied.

"You know, this might be a chance for you to feel better for awhile. If there's enough Poly saturation you could probably benefit from direct exposure." Jadzia pointed out gently.

Gaven scoffed. "I'm sure that's probably true. Though I'm not exactly eager to go crawling back into my would be coffin for a radiation treatment anytime soon. Frankly, I was hoping I would never have to see the container again."

"Can I ask you something about that? Is launching undesirables out into space something that happens much or did your people make a special exception in your case? If that's too personal you don't have to answer." Jadzia had been curious for ages and she suspected she knew the answer but wanted to better understand what the motivations had been if it had indeed be unusual.

"No. They don't make a habit of it. Part of the reason the Oum are isolationists is because we simply can't survival very well outside of the confines of our sun. The very thing that protects us from outside interference is literally the thing that also holds us hostage in the universe. My people are space capable in spite of this and there have been instances of rebellion where others left either against the populaces will or through rare circumstances of lenience. What became of any of them over the centuries is unclear. My circumstances were unusual. My people found themselves in an uncomfortable position that I was kind enough to solve for them." Gaven said wistfully.

"The exile off of your home world was your idea." The subtext of what Gaven was implying seemed clear.

"As you've probably concluded by now the Oum are staunchly against destroying life. They are also staunchly for accountability in all things. When I broke with one of our most treasured and sacred cultural traditions, I knew I had to be accountable for that defiance. I…I am still what I am. Unorthodox as I may be, I do feel an amount of responsibility to uphold the honor of my people. By leaving me in space to die at my own request, my people felt the conflict of my original defiance was resolved. In turn, I also stayed true to my individual and divergent principles."

Jadzia nodded in understanding. "You knew there was a possibility you could live so you gambled."

Gaven smiled self indulgently. "Yes. I figured there wasn't much more I could lose. May I ask you a personal question? I've been reading about the Trill recently. You're joined with a Symbiote as I understand. How many host lifetimes has Dax enjoyed, yourself included?"

Jadzia laughed. "This is my ninth."

"Fascinating. And you share all the collective memories of your past incarnations as I understand it?" Gaven asked.

"Yes. That's generally the idea." Jadzia smiled at his interest.

"Very interesting. I'd like to hear more about your people sometime from your own perspectives. Well, I think we've got the force field calibrated the best we can. The Vulcan team arriving can refine it further for you."

"I agree I think we've done about enough. At this point I'm happy with it if you are." She agreed. "How about we take an hour and have some lunch. I could introduce you to some alien cuisine if your feeling brave enough."

I think I can stomach some experimentation." Gaven agreed.

A little later Jadzia and Gaven we're situated at a discreet table at one of the best Klingon eateries on the station. Although Gaven politely declined consuming anything that just happened to still be alive, Jadzia found he was more than willing to try just about anything else.

I've been meaning to ask you something else. Knowing everything you know now…If you could go back to…You-know-where, would you?" Jadzia inquired after the got through the opening course of Gagh and Krada legs.

Gaven thought the question over for a moment.

"You know, all my life, I've been naturally curious. I aways wanted to know as much as I could about everything I could. I've always wanted to…feel connected to things greater than myself. My peoples technology is on pair and even rivals many other developed worlds and my planet and culture are as rich as any, so, over the years there was much I could study right in my own back yard that I was content with. But there were limits as well. There were expectations of me on Oum that were…less than flexible and enjoyable. While I ultimately still mourn my home and am pained over the circumstances connected to my departure, I've realized in recent times that I have more freedom now than I could have ever hoped for if I had stayed." Gaven admitted.

Jadzia patted the Doctor's fore-harm to show her solidarity though she private;y reminded herself that Gaven had gone from being a kind of slave on Oum to an indentured servant of the Federation on Deep Space 9. That wasn't exactly freedom and least not to the level she hoped he would experience someday.

"Staying, as I've said, would have meant forfeiting everything I still cared about and cherished. It was better to take my chances among the stars then die on my home world having only half lived." Gaven concluded.

At this point Jadzia had read enough about the Oum to piece together apart of the puzzle about Gaven that he had yet to reveal. Jadzia reminded herself to run her thought by Kira as soon as she could since she had been given the chapters regarding Gaven's cultural practices.

"Here's tid bit you might find interesting. I'm the first person to be expelled from the planet in over a thousand years." Gaven explained before pooping a tomato like vegetable side into his mouth. "I must admit I feel somewhat proud of that accomplishment sometimes."

Jadzia laughed and encouraged him to clink his glass with hers.

"Thank you for this. For inviting me out. I know I can be…distant much of the time, but I really do appreciate the friendship that's been extended to me here on the station. I just want you to know that if things get more difficult or complicated in the future and I'm forced into things I'd rather avoid…I'd like you and the others to know that in spite of everything I have found you all to be some of the most courageous and honorable people I've ever met." Gaven said.

Jadzia was touched by his sentiment and conscious of the underling implications Gaven was hinting at. Sometimes it was hard to remember that the Doctor was not there helping them all by his own choice. Gaven was with them because the Federation wanted things from him and as tensions continued to mount it was unclear what could happen if Gaven suddenly stopped cooperating with them. Jadzia was not so naive to think it was always going to be as easy as it was now. If things went badly it was possible that the good doctor could wind up on a different side of the war field than the rest of them were if he lived long enough.

It was a sobering realization. "No matter what happens, Dr. Ore. I think I speak for more than myself when I say we will always think of you here as a good man."

Gaven raised his glass in a subtle solute. "May I always remain in the prophets good graces."

As Dax and Gaven were coming to terms with the realities of their positions, Odo and Dr. Mora where about to do the same as they worked together trying to stimulate and encourage the infant changeling's development.

Up until now Odo and had come to a uneasy working relationship rooted in the understanding that Odo was ultimately responsible for the changeling's progress plan. Mora seemed to accept the arrangement for the most part though had anyone been watching it was clear to see that Mora was bored of and concerned by their lack of progress.

It was only a matter of time before the issue came to a head.

"What are you doing?" Odo demanded when he caught Mora running some scans without prior consent as they worked together in the isolation room.

Endlessly taken back by Odo's constant antagonism and suspicion of him, Mora stopped what he was doing and imploringly explained himself.

"I'm measuring its volume." Sighing in frustration, Mora stepped away to log th data on the wale console. "Its been here a week, and its only grown 17 percent. After three days in my lab, you were twice that size."

Annoyed by his tone, Odo lashed out sternly trying to keep his temper in check. Almost everything Mora said to him sounded like a criticism or a justification that Oda didn't want or need. "Well, maybe I was anxious to grown up so I could get OUT of there."

Mora ignored the dig and tried to sound more reasonable. "My point is, you've made no progress. By this time I'd already gotten you to mimic half a dozen simple forms."

"I'm trying to gain its confidence, not teach it tricks." Ado insisted.

It's a shame you're not a changeling anymore. You could link with it and teach it everything it needs to know." Mora said pointedly.

"You make it sound like it's my fault." Oder accused him incredulously.

"It might very well be." Mora said without pulling any punches. "Let's face it, Odo. Your shape-shifting ability was somewhat limited. Maybe that's why your people were able to force you to take a humanoid form."

"That is pure speculation." Odo said in defensive outrage turning away with indignation.

"Let's run a few tests and see." Mora challenged, half hoping Odo might see the benefit of the exercise.

"Oh! You are just dying to get me into one of your contraptions, aren't you?" Odo was practically yelling now as he turned back around to confront the scientist.

"I'm trying to help!" Mora confessed hoping for once Odo would take him at his word.

"I am not about to submit myself to another round of your experiments." Odo said firmly.

"Everything I did to you was for your own good." Mora desperately reasoned.

"Ha!" Odo scoffed.

"True, some of the tests that I subjected you to proved inconclusive." Mora conceded passionately.

"The vacuum chamber springs to mind." Odo reminded him. "The cytoplasmic separator…Come to think of it, the protein decompiler as well."

"How could I know until I tried?" Mora rationalized. "By the Prophets, Odo, I wasn't even sure you were a life-form."

"I wasn't sure about you either." Odo remarked as the men stood practically chest to chest.

"Once I realized you were sentient, oh, the Cardassians wanted to know everything about you. I was under enormous pressure to come up with results, and I did." MY technique worked. The fact that you are standing here whining about it proves it." Mora proclaimed.

Seething inside, Odo made his most deeply held belief about his past known in the form of damning accusation. "You enjoyed watching me suffer."

"You really believe that? How pathetic." Mora countered. "If it wasn't for me, you'd still be sitting on a shelf somewhere in a beaker labeled 'Unknown Sample'."

"If it wasn't for me, you'd be a nobody." Odo rebuked. "Starfleet wouldn't hire you to judge a science fair."

Their mutual fury was starting to wind down now.

"I'm getting a little tired of sitting around watching you, but I can't seem to pull myself away." Mora was steadily winding up for another strike. "I can't wait to see what next preposterous thing your going to try."

Odo simply stared daggers at the man.

"Who knows? Maybe in a couple of months, it may get so tired of your incessant chatter that it might actually DO something." Mora said in exasperation.

"Oh, you'd just love to get your hands on it, wouldn't you? You could sell tickets on the Promenade. Dr. Mora's chamber of horrors. Open for business. Right this way!" Odo made a dramatic show with his arms like a man acting on a stage.

The dramatics promptly came to a close when Odo looked to the door only to see both Dr. Ore and Captain Sisko watching them. Neither Ado or Mora could say how long the men had been watching them go at each other.

"Captain. Dr. Ore." Oder straighten regaining his self control almost instantly.

"How's it going, gentlemen?" Sisko said evenly with an expression that portrayed nothing.

Odo cleared his throat and squared his shoulders trying to regain some semblance of dignity. "Making progress, Sir."

"I'm glad to hear it." Sisko said dismissively as he relaxed slightly and entered the isolation room with a stoic looking Gaven following a discreet distance behind. "I was just talking with Starfleet Command. They want you to establish communication with the changeling as soon as possible."

"At the rate we're going, that is still a long way off." Mora interjected.

"Better not be too long. Otherwise Starfleet is going to want to take over the project." Sisko warned them impartially.

"Sir…" Odo was stunned by this threating revelation.

"As long as your making progress, there's nothing to worry about." Somehow Sisko's words almost sounded sorry." Feeling his point had been made, Sisko began to turn, stopping short to relay further orders. "Oh, by the way…Starfleet wants you to file daily reports for their review."

"Understood, Sir." Odo nodded.

Sisko then glanced over at Gaven. "See if you can give them a hand."

Gaven remained frozen where he was. A strange expressionless mask over cast his features that just half an hour prior had been full of warmth and camaraderie.

"Carry on." The captain said finally departing from the room.

Both Odo and Mora glanced at the changeling in contemplation before Mora had finally had enough for one day.

"Now you understand the kind of pressure I was going through." Mora glanced at Gaven who was still a slight distance away and hand yet to speak. "I brought my old equipment from Bajor. Maybe it's time we started unpacking."

Done for now, Mora nodded to Gaven and took his leave to allow time for Odo to think about everything that had been said and revealed.

At a loss, Odo exhaled audibly and shook his head from side to side.

"Its going to get worse." Gaven said evenly. "You do understand that, don't you?"

Odo glanced sidelong at Gaven. "I…Think I'm starting to."

"If the changeling keeps developing here, its only a matter of time before Starfleet will step in. Personally, I don't understand what they think they'll have to gain. This child knows nothing of the agenda of the Founders. It just a baby. The federation is supposed to care about the rights and well being of other life forms. This changeling is not a threat to them and it shouldn't be treated like a thing." Gaven said evenly.

"I know, Doctor. Trust me, I of all people know." Odo glanced back towards Gaven. "How much of all that did you and the captain actually overhear?"

"We arrived about the time Mora remarked about you not being a changeling anymore. You know he's wrong, don't you? Just because you've temporarily lost your shifting abilities doesn't make you any less what you are." Gaven remarked.

"If you don't mind, doctor. I'd rather not talk about it further. For now why don't we just focus on the most pressing problem at hand." Odo said.

"What isn't happening exactly?" Gaven asked flatly.

"Dr. Mora seems to think that the changeling isn't developing its volume as quickly as it should. Should we be concerned?" Odo asked.

Gaven approached the container the changeling was resting in and moved to place his palm over the top of the container but just before he made contact, his hand began to tremor ever so slightly ad Gaven pulled his hand away.

"Are you alright?" Ado asked bluntly.

"Yes. Sorry. Seeing a newling like this first hand is still a little…Overwhelming. I am concerned it's not doubling its volume or showing any response to stimulus. It may simply not be strong enough yet or there may be a more worrisome reason. It's possible for example that the radiation it was exposed to did more damage than Dr. Bashir thought.

"How can we know for sure?" Odo inquired.

"Its hard to say. 's done all the testing he can think of." Gaven admitted.

"Can't you just…" Odo asked, unsure how to frame his question.

"I don't want to link with it if I don't have to. At least not right now. I'll see what else I can do, if it's damage from the radiation stunting its growth I may be able to develop some kind of cellular regeneration technique. Changeling's only need one cell to lattice off of in order to self repair. Like I said before, solid or not, your still a changeling and your cells are complete in regards to the data they carry. I'll need a sample from you to begin developing a treatment with." Gaven explained.

After receiving a tissue sample from Odo, Gaven spent the rest of his day in his office diligently trying to create a new cellular regeneration procedure that could be utilized in an emergency. His door remained closed until much later when a call from Kira caused the Doctor to stir. The baby was coming for real this time and both the O'brien's and Kira wanted him there as a witness.

When Gaven arrived he was met with the frustrated looking visages of Miles and Odan standing in the hallway instead of in the delivery room. It appeared as if they'd been thrown out.

"Gentleman. Everything alright?" Gaven asked.

"No it is not. We've been bloody well banished thanks to big mouth over there." Miles muttered.

"It takes two." Odan said with an acidic tone.

"Give them a minute and maybe they'll let you back in. Pregnant people are notorious for changing their minds." Gaven reassured Miles.

"If you're going in there could ya do me a favor and try to reason with them?" Miles asked hopefully.

"I'll do what I can. Have heart, one way or a nothing your going to be a father again today." Gaven genuinely smiled and made his presence known before he was promptly let in.

Seeing this Odan turned in disbelief and neared Miles. "Why does he get to go in, just like that?"

"Don't worry. Dr. Ore is a good man. Trust me, he could be the best chance we have at being let back in." Miles muttered appraisingly.

Meanwhile, as one baby was making its way into the world another baby was struggling to stay in it. True to Dr. Ore's suspicions the radiation had sickened the changeling more than had been originally known and Odo had been called away to the infirmary while Bashir and Dr. Mora raced to stabilize it's.

"The radiation must have damaged it's cytoplasm in a way we weren't able to detect." Bashir explained as he was all fire and passion as he did his level best to suceed.

"There must be something you can do." Odo insisted.

"You might try an enzymatic induction. That might stabilize the biomentic fluctuations." Mora suggested.

Its worth shot." Bashir said hopefully as Dr. Mora encouraged Odo to step outside so that they could work.

As they scrambled in another part of the station Kira was entering the euphoric final stages of her delivery. Through all this Gaven remained in the back ground. Despite what he'd promised Miles, he had no intention of saying a word to the women seeing as he was quite convinced Kira would relent on her own and let the gentlemen back in. Something Gaven hadn't told either Kira or the O'brien's was that every time he link with the child, he had been able to equally share in the experience of the host. This had been especially true when he'd linked all of them together the week earlier. For Gaven, it wasn't a detail that needed sharing, it was something that he had privately benefited from and it would have been inappropriate to point it out.

He had looked forward to seeing the conclusion of the situation and as he watched Kira bring the baby forward, Gaven couldn't a twinge of sympathy from his own womb that amused him mildly.

"Here he comes." The midwife remarked with satisfaction.

"Keiko. Would you do me a favor?" Kira asked gently.

As Gaven had expected in the final moments, Kira had relented and asked for the others to be let back in.

"That's it Nyres. Relax. Let it come." The mid wife coaxed.

Seconds later the sound of a baby's first cry made everyone present smile with joy and make faces of awe. Gaven's own eyes welled with tears that he held silently back.

Everyone was moved and just as the baby was being introduced, a computerized message broke through o the wall console.

"Would Dr. Gaven Ore please report to isolation room one. There is a medical emergency." The computer chimed.

Gaven's eyes went wide at the sound. Isolation room one was where the changeling was being kept.

"I apologize everyone one. Please excuse me and congratulations." Gaven swiftly headed for the exit as fear began to set in once he hit the hall.

In spite of his bad leg Gaven practically jogged back to the infirmary catching Odo just outside the room looking grave.

"Odo." Gaven breathed.

"It the changeling, doctor it's destabilizing." He explained.

"Come with me." Not wasting any more time, Gaven entered the room with Odo coming behind.

"Julian, where are we?" Gaven demanded.

"We've tried everything I and Dr. Mora can think of. The treatment you were developing is our last chance but I didn't dare try to administer the protocol without you." Bashir said swiftly.

Gaven swiftly stepped aside and pulled up the computer console beginning the process he'd developed as he injected something into the changeling's sickly for.

"Damn." He said,thirty seconds later.

"What's wrong." Odo demanded.

"The cellular treatment is taking hold but the newling is too weak now. Its immune and cellular replication systems are shutting down."

"What can we do?" Oda asked desperately.

"Odo, we can't do anything. But you can. If you link with it it may be able to piggy back off your immune system enough for the treatment to take full effect." Gaven said.

"But I can't. I've lost my linking ability. I'm not a changeling anymore." Odo protested.

"Yes you are. You've never stopped being who and what you are. Now, damn it. I need you to try. Please. What do you have to lose?" Gaven reasoned insistantly.

Mora took up the changeling's container and brought it swiftly to, Odo. "You can do this. I know you can."

Taking the container from him, Odo looked at the changeling and then up at Mora. "I'll try."

He then poured the sickly baby into his hand while the others looked on. Bashir with deflated sarrow, Gaven with flinty determination, and Dr. Mora with fatherly hope.

At first nothing happened.

"Please." Odo implored it. "Don't die. There's so much I want to show you. I was going to teach you how to be a Tarkalean hawk, remember?"

As he spoke the changeling began to stir and slowly oborb into Odo's hands. For a moment, everyone but Gaven thought this was an indication of the end as Odo showed them his hands and Bashir hastily scanned them.

"What happened? Where did it go?" Mora asked in alarm.

"It somehow integrated itself into Odo's body." Bashir observed.

Suddenly Odo began to groan and pull away from them, his eyes going wide in pain or shock.

"It can't be!" Odo exclaimed.

"What?" Mora said breathlessly as he helped Bashir support Odo.

The men stared in wonder as Odo steadied himself and moved away from them towards the exist leading out onto the promenade. Seconds later he suddenly shifted out of his cloths ad took off into the air in the form of the Tarkalean hawk. Flaying over the promenade majestically as screeching his joy.

"It worked." Gaven said quietly behind them. "Watch."

As Odo landed and realization set in he shuddered lightly cupping his hands as the newling separated from him pooling back into a slightly rounded form. "You've done it little one."

Being too far off for the other's to see, Odo soon after returned to where the other doctors were.

"Odo." Bashir said.

"It's alright, Doctor. Everything is alright now." Odo said pragmatically.

"The changeling?" Mora inquired.

"See for yourself…Grandpa." Oda said mirthfully as he held out his hands. "Come on. They want to see that your alright too. Indulge them a little."

To both Bashir and Mora's relief and amazement the baby changeling made itself known by by gently shifting into different basic shapes in his hands like a child showing itself off.

"Don't let it get too excited. It's still weak and will need lots of care before its completely well but I think it's safe to say that this crisis at least has bean concluded." Gaven said. "Congratulations, Mr. Odo. I'm glad you've recovered yourself."

"This wouldn't have been possible without you, Dr. Ore. Thank you. Thank all of you for working so hard." Odo said earnestly.

"Since we're sharing good news. Kira delivered successfully just before I was called 's a boy. Well…I think I've had just about enough excitement for one day. If you'll excuse me gentlemen, I think I will depart. I'll be in my quarters if anyone needs me." Gaven said, bowing slightly to all of them before he took his leave.

"Strange kind of man. You'd think he'd want to stick around." Mora remarked.

"He is strange indeed, but that's part of his charms." Odo quipped.

"If you'll excuse me a moment." Julian said. "I'll be back shortly."

Julian excused himself and tried to catch up with the other doctor.

"Gaven. Gaven, wait." Julian called as he caught the doctor idling through the edge of the promenade as he headed back in the direction of his quarters.

"Hello, Doctor. Coming along to walk me home I see." Now that he was away from the infirmary a tired unhappy seriousness had over taken Gaven's features.

"What you did back there was amazing. Aren't you happy about it? Why don't we get together later and celebrate." Julian proposed.

"Of course I'm happy, Doctor. I'm happy I could spare Odo the pain of losing something so important to him. I'm happy there was recourse this time and that I had enough time and opportunity to do something about it." Gaven said.

"So what's gnawing at you then? And don't try to lie to me or sugar it, I know you better than that by now." Julian said as they continued to move together.

"I just can't help wondering if…" Gaven hesitated.

"Gaven, what?" Julian pressed, encouraging them to pause in place.

"If…It would have been better for the changeling to die. Think about it, Julian. Tell me honestly that you believe its going to be allowed to simply learn and exist here with Odo and among all of you. Tell me that isn't going to be problematic. Tell me that as it grows and becomes it own person with its own wants and abilities that the people here won't secretly resent its presence. Don't you see? I may have just condemned that creature to a life that may never be fully its own. Now please, Julian. Let me just go home in peace. I have had a long day and I just want to not think about it all for awhile. Is that alright with you?" Gaven said wearily.

Julain sighed. "Fine. Fine…Do as you like. Far be it from me to stop you."


	8. Familiar Bonds

Guilt and remorse seeped out of him the moment Gaven was back in his quarters.

Gaven regretted cheapening what should have been a moment of profound satisfaction for Odo and the other doctors. He regretted, in particular, allowing his conflicting feelings and actions to effect his relationship specifically with Dr. Bashir.

Why had Gaven insisted upon pouring his lemon juice into the other doctor's cream? Sometimes Gaven caught himself being specifically hostile and less emotionally inhibited around Julian in a way that made him feel uncomfortable and out of control of himself. Granted, of anyone on the station Julian had seen Gaven at his most vulnerable on more than one occasion, but that didn't excuse or make it more permissible for Gaven to act out around him. When Julien had tried to stop him on the promenade, Gaven had once again found himself emotionally compromised and compelled to vent at the other Doctor. It was a compulsion Gaven didn't understand.

Gaven sighed in frustration and plunked himself down on his sofa before rubbing vigorously at his face as if doing so could wipe away his fresh regrets. For a moment he nearly thought about leaving again and going to find Julian. For what purpose he wasn't certain. To apologize, perhaps, or to see if he could salvage his blunder and celebrate their medical achievement after all. But before he could put anything into motion the computer piped in to alert him to the fact that the Vulcan science team's transport had docked and that he was to rendezvous with them within the hour.

Jyruss Chival took annother deep breath as he sat with the small science team that had volunteered to transport the remnants of the pod Gaven Ore-Oum had been extracted from, The reminents were being transported from the Vulcan home world to Deep Space 9. Of the group, Chival was the only one intending to stay on the station for an extended period of time to assist and supervise the exchange of data. The others were just along to ensure that the package was delivered and kept properly contained before they continued on to Earth for other scientific business.

Chival felt the impatience that was threatening him subside as he guided himself through a long series of Vulcan breathing exercises. It was unbecoming of him to feel as much as he did about his present task. Chival's time with Gaven had been short in comparison to the other Vulcans who had been in charge of his care after they originally transported him back to Vulcan. While the elders had conducted their own investigation into what had transpired on the freighter, Chival had been the first one to mind meld with their alien refuge and had later been the one to bring him out of stasis when the freighter had come under attack.

Since then he'd tried to put the encounter behind him. Although mind melds allowed for one to view the memories and experiences of another, Vulcan's were supposed to be discipled enough for the mind meld to not effect them emotionally. The experience was supposed to serve as nothing more than a exchange of information. And yet over the many preceding months Chival had often found himself dwelling on Gaven's experiences which were indeed terrible and tragic. To be expelled from ones world…unspeakable. To loss a bondmate..Unthinkable.

Although Gaven had not asked him specifically to to come to the station, Chival's name had surprisingly been included on the list of contacts that had been given by Gaven to Captain Sisko.

Logic suggested that if nothing else Gaven knew Chival's presence was a possibility that that reason, though given that Chival wasn't anyone of notable importance it was unclear why the Elders had encouraged him to make the trip with the science officers in the first place. In spite of this, Chival was satisfied at least that he would have the opportunity to converse with the other man again if only on the grounds of casual curiosity.

Chival felt his impatience surge at the brief thought of seeing the good doctor again. A few of the other Vulcans traveling with him took notice, but said nothing. They didn't have to. Chival could sense a kind of indirect disapproval of him that they undoubtedly felt regarding his obvious lack of discipline and vulcan like composure. In spite of himself and his higher ideals, Chival couldn't prevent himself from feeling a certain amount of…resentment for their impersonal judgment of him. Vulcan's were supposed to be master's of their feelings and while many convincingly were, Chival knew that the real depth of his species emotional capabilities were profound. It was precisely because their race could possess such strong feelings and aggressions that they had taken such extreme measures to purge themselves of any and all illogical impulse.

As Vulcan's went, Chival was considered a weaker specimen of their race in this regard. The sooner he got to Deep Space 9 and could send the rest of the team on their way, the better.

That evening there were many departures happening. It seemed like just about everyone was in the docking bay halls. Kira and Odan were saying their goodbyes as Odan prepares to return to his duties on Bajor, Dr. Mora was also leaving since he had responsibilities on earth to fulfill and Odo was also seeing him off. Finally, Dax had agreed to join Gaven and the Captain to meet the Vulcan team and Julian was on call in the infirmary to receive them.

It was due to be a late night to cap and already exciting day for just about everyone.

Jadzia meet Gaven half way to the docking bay with her data pad in hand. When she caught sight of him though a frown slowly settled upon her features.

"Well, you don't look happy. Everything all right?" Jadzia asked as she pulled up beside Gaven.

"Fine. Just a little out of sorts this evening. Shall we?" Gaven didn't want to talk about the earlier events of his day.

"Kira had the O'brien's baby today. You were there, right?" Dax was trying to strike up a conversation mostly because she got the distinct impression Gaven was particularly upset and doing his level best to hide the fact.

"Yes. A boy. I must admit Bajoran deliveries are fascinating. The euphoria of the final moments…Amazing. I'm glad I was allowed to see it." Gaven admitted.

"I heard that wasn't the only baby you looked out for today…" Jadzia was ever insistent to have her satisfaction.

Gaven sighed. "Yes. The newling was in distress. But Dr. Bashir, myself, Dr. Mora and Odo were able to intervene in time. There should be no reason why the little one wont have the best chance possible now to develop fully."

"Odo is better too, I'm told." Jadzia pressed.

A slight smile finally cracked Gaven's face. "That I can take absolutely no credit for. It can be purely attributed to Odo himself and the special bond he's managed to foster with the little changeling. It was…Something to see."

"There's the good Doctor I know and love. Come on. The transport should be here by now." Jadzia patted Gaven on the back in a masculine fashion s they rounded the corridor.

As Gaven and Jadzia were almost to their destination, Odo and Dr, Mora were also saying their final good byes.

"Well. How does it feel to be yourself again?" Mora asked. His tone was filled with elation.

Odo chuckled. "It feels…Right. When I think how how things could have gone…"

"We should all be grateful for the outcome we had. I'm very glad. Odo, very glad for you and for me."

"For you?" Odo asked.

"Yes. I've decided I'm going to look at what happened today as a gift. To you, first and foremost. But also for me. I feel as if I understand something I didn't before. You've always been amazing, Odo. But now see that I should have treated you more like my son than my subject. I regret that I've made you feel like that's all you were to me. It isn't true." Mora confessed.

Mora's words struck Odo with a mixture of remorse and empathy. "I think…I finally understand now how much I meant to you…But, it's…Nice to hear you say it all the same. I can imagine now what you must have gone through when I left."

Mora couldn't help but beam in a restrained way that was probably designed to keep him composed. "I knew you had to find your own way in the world, so I let you go."

Odo felt his own composure slip slightly. "I realize now I should have included you in my life. I was wrong to cut you out of it."

"It's not too late, you still can include me and I hope you do. You've got a big responsibility ahead of you now. It is both a joy and a sorrow no matter what you do, believe me. I hope you will allow me the opportunity to catch a glimpse of your efforts now and again. I wish you well. From one father, to another." He said,

Mora then extended his hand to shake, but the shake quickly dissolved to a fatherly embrace and both men finally let go of their differences once and for all.

"Take care of yourself, Odo. And…Take care of the little one for both of us." Mora said.

Caught by emotion all Odo could do was nod his agreement as Dr. Mora broke away from him and continued down the docking hall without looking back.

Seconds later Kira came from the opposite direction to meet Odo.

"Kira. I thought the O'briens were having a party." He observed.

Kira nodded. "Shaakar and I stopped by. I didn't feel much like celebrating."

"Oh?" Odo inquired, wanting to understand Kira's reasoning.

"It just…I got into this because the O'Briens need my help. I never wanted a baby." Kira confessed. "But now? I just wish I could hold him I my arms…and never let him go."

Odo nodded. "I think I know how you feel, Nerys."

Sensing there was more they both needed to say between them, Kira nodded. "Want to take a walk?"

"Ah-huh." Odo agreed.

As the began to walk side beside, Odo put his arm across her back and they disappeared to places unknown together.

When Dax and Gaven finally arrived at their destination, they saw that the envoy was already present and that Captian Sisko was already in the process of receiving them. There were seven Vulcan's in total. Most of them academy personnel and a few younger students who were already experts in their field. All of them were stoically facing Gaven except the one who was talking quietly with the captain directly. He was tall by human standard but less developed than the the others vulcan's.

As Gaven neared them he felt a kind of buzzing in the back of his head as a cold sweat broke out between his shoulder blades.

As if the Vulcan could specifically sense Gaven's reaction, he slowly turned around to face him.

"Chival." Gaven breathed the name as his softer green eyes locked with the youthful blue ones.

As expected the other man showed no reaction to his name or the fact it was specifically Gaven who had spoken it. And yet there was a kind of exchange between them. So subtle that no one else caught it.

Per proper etiquette Chival nodded acknowledgment. "Dr. Ore."

"Since all of you are familiar with the Doctor, I would like to also introduce my Chief Science Officer Jadzia Dax. She'll escort you gentlemen to our science department and bring you up to speed. We're eager to utilize your expertise on radiation shielding." The captain said.

"I understand its late, but I think we'd all appreciate getting the carrier remnants transfered and properly secure before we conclude this evening so I will leave you to it. Please make yourselves at home for the short time you will be staying on our station." Sisko said.

Half an hour later everyone was gathered in a part of the cargo area that had been modified to act as a holding bay. Jadzia worked with half of the Vulcan's as they looked over the poxy shielding and helped Jadzia tweak it for better efficiency. There wasn't alot to adjust thankfully. Julian was also there examining fresh samples of the radiation first hand as the the other Vulcan's carefully unloaded the remnants and positioned it for study.

That left Chival and Gaven to watch the entire operation.

Gaven looked more stern than the Vulcans did. His arms were crossed over his chest with his forearm crutch resting against his thigh and for once he made no effort to hide his black mood.

"Does…Watching this pain you?" Chival finally asked.

"Yes." Gaven said bluntly knowing he could be frank and blunt about his feeling without causing offense.

"Perhaps it would be more logical to retire then. The science teams are more than capable of handling all of this." Chival pointed out. "I… could walk you to your quarters if you wish." Chival offered tentatively.

"I suppose that's reasonable. I must say Chival, I'm surprised that you're here."

"You clearly knew my presence was a possibility since you provided my name along with the others to Captain Sisko. Considering I am the only civilian representative here, I would be curious to know why you include me?" Chival asked.

"Now whose asking questions they already know the answer to?" Gaven asked rhetorically. "You're right. I don't have any desire to continue standing around her any more tonight. I'm tired and in bad humor. If you want to come along with me you can. You don't exactly seem in high spirits yourself." Gaven observes.

After saying his goodbyes to Dax and Julian and promising to pick up with them in the morning, Gaven allowed Chival to escort him back to Gaven's quarters.

By the time they arrived fatigue was clearly starting to set in. Gaven had been all over the station that day baring witness to one thing and helping put out the fires of another. As the day had wore o his limp had become more pronounced and his features more haggard.

"Guh, come on. Sit down Chival and tell me what's gone on since I saw you last." Gaven insisted as he eased gingerly down upon the corner of his sofa.

"There isn't much to say. You recall my expertise is in botany, since I saw you last I've been on one of the Vulcan moons experimenting with crop development in low oxygen environments." Chival explained.

"It sounds lonely." Gaven remarked.

"Isolation seems to suit me." Chival said having taken a eat at the glass dining table.

"I don't believe that's true. But if it pleases you to say it, then fine." Gaven said dismissively.

"Before when I asked you why you included me and you stated that I already knew why…I assume you were referring to the what transpired on the freighter." Chival pointed out.

"You saved my life." Gaven said. "And then you saved the lives of everyone else."

"I brought you out of stasis. That is all. It was you who warded the Breen ship off of us." Chival corrected him.

"Did you honestly ask to walk me here in order to argue about who did what?" Gaven asked.

It was clear that Chival wanted to confront him about something. Gaven wasn't sure what it was about but he could tell the younger Vulcan man was disturbed. Vulcan's were such strange creatures. To feel as much as they did yet strive to alway suppress their feelings, both impressed and disquieted Gaven.

"What's wrong, Chival?" Gaven asked him gently.

"I find myself…I find myself dissatisfied. Since we melded our minds I find myself unsure and restlessin my work and day to day life." Chival admitted.

"Why?" Gaven asked.

"I have found myself repeatedly concerned for you, for your well being." Chival sighed. "For a long time I've wanted to find you to make sure you were well."

"You've been worried for me?" Gaven inquired.

"Before and during your time on the freighter, I sensed the depth of your suffering. Even before the mind meld..I could feel your intensity. The impression has stayed with me."

"I'm sorry. It was never my intention to affect you like that. I can promise I'm in far greater control of my feelings now than I was. But somehow I suspect my feelings aren't really the issue here." Gaven observed.

"You are trying to imply it is my feelings that are of concern. I assure you, I am in control of myself." Chival insisted.

"I never said you weren't in control. You're a Vulcan. Albeit a somewhat eccentric one, but I would never call your sense of control into question. I included you on my list because you are perhaps the only being outside of Oum that understands the extent of what I feel and have experienced." Gaven said.

"You haven't told anyone of your direct experiences on Oum?" Chival inquired as some of the pieces began to fall into place and appease his curiosity.

"No and I see little reason to. Now that I've been exiled. It isn't as if I can ever go back. My…Crimes on Oum would likely be seen as trifles most anywhere else. The Oum themselves can't claim that they haven't gotten their satisfaction in the business. Wouldn't you agree?" Gaven asked.

"The Oum intended to kill you second hand. They have not succeeded. Therefore, it would be only logical to assume that their will has not been fully satisfied as you claim."

"What exactly could they do? Come after me? I'll take my chances. No Oum, save for myself, have left the planet in a thousand years if the records are to be believed."

"I see. In any case You still haven't explained…" The other man persisted.

"I'm dying, Chival. You know as well as I that without consistent exposure to my planet's sun, I cannot sustain. Choices I've made have already accelerated the process. I thought that having you here would make it easier emotionally."

"You may have picked a poor subject. I am a Vulcan, feelings are not exactly my strong point." Chival said bluntly.

"Maybe so, nevertheless, you are perhaps the only person in the universe I don't have to explain myself to." Gaven countered.

"You are implying that the awareness we fostered by means of the mind meld makes you more transparent to me. While it is true that I have shared in your memories and past impressions, I would not go as far as to say that knowledge allows for complete understanding. There are many things outside of the facts that as a Vulcan and as a individual not of your species I fail to understand." Chival explained.

"I'm sorry. I was too bold in my wording. We, of course, barely know each other. The intimacy associated with the telepathic connection we briefly shared was indeed powerful in the moment, but should not be misinterpreted for something it was not. Nevertheless, I am not a Vulcan or a human for that matter and so it pleases me to look upon you as a friend. If that seems too illogical or uncomfortable I can…"

"No." Chival interrupted abruptly. "I…I…Welcome the honor of being your…Friend. It…Has always been difficult for me to cultivate intimate relationships even among my own kind. I have always observed a certain resentment towards myself, for not being able to fully embody the classical archetypes and hallmarks of my species. In this we are, perhaps, more alike than different. I appreciate your non-typical qualities immensely."

"I want you to know that the sentiment goes both ways. Vulcan or not, I don't judge you for who you are. I'm glad you're here and that you;re accepting of my sense of camaraderie." Gaven said gently.

Chival considered for a moment. "I…Have made tentative plans to remain on Deep Space 9 for an extended duration if necessary. My botany research is not pressing and I have no other obligations to occupy myself with. I would be interested in staying on the station until your destiny reaches its logical conclusion."

"It seems you planned to stay regardless." Gaven observed.

Chival pursed his lips. "I confess that it was my initial intention to remain for as long as you had need of me and to remain for a time even if it proved that you did not. I wanted to see you again. I felt compelled to see you, in fact."

"What was the tipping point?" Gaven asked.

"After you left my planet, I found myself in a persistent state of agitation and unrest. Eventually I sought out clarity and guidance to ease and unburden myself. The Vulcan Elders concluded that there was unfinished business between us. Shal'el in particular encouraged me to come to you. She thought it would help to quiet my mind in light of the unexpected aftermath of our earlier encounters with each other. It was she who ensured I was included on the travel manifest." Chival revealed.

"You're mother is a wise woman." He remarked. "Really I'm glad you've come."

For several minutes neither man spoke, though the much younger Chival watched Gaven intently.

"You are tired and unwell. I should leave you for the evening." Chival said at length.

"Hm?" Gaven had allowed his mind to wonder for longer than he'd intended partially because he was indeed fatigued and unwell but mostly because he'd been think on Chival's impressions. "No. I mean, I am tired and I will retire soon. But I would like you to stay a bit longer if it satisfies you to do so."

"You…are in want of my company?" Chival asked in a manner that suggested a surprising undertone of youthful hopefulness.

"Yes. I am in want of your company for now. That and I was thinking about what you said earlier. About how you wished to unburden yourself. I know you've told me in brief that I effected you and because you are a Vulcan I know you have been breed to be not as forth coming with your feelings. I would greatly like to understand you better. Would you be willing to share your thoughts and impressions with me again?" Gaven asked tentatively.

Chival's steady gaze that always hinted at mild despondency, widened slightly as he considered the implications of Gaven's request.

"You are asking to touch my impression and share your own. Do you think that is well advised?" Chival inquired.

"If you wish I could withhold myself and allow only for what you wish to share with me." Gaven was strong enough in his abilities to influence the mindmeld and resist aspects of it up to a point.

"No. I have no desire to keep anything from you or to have you withhold anything from me." Chival reassured him quickly.

"Then shall we?" Gaven gently urged a he shifted slightly upon the sofa to clear space for Chival to sit beside him comfortably.

Chival pressed his lips but ultimately did remove himself from his chair and with only the briefest of hesitation join Gaven upon the sofa.

Adjusting themselves briefly so that the were both comfortable enough to accomplish their ends, Chival placed his fingers upon Gaven's face in the traditional from while Gaven gently gripped the his other wrist so that he could connect in his own way.

"I open my mind to you. What I have known, you will know." Chival's spoke.

Gaven's grip tightened over so slightly upon Chival's wrist as they open themselves to each other.

In moments Chival was made aware of all that had happened since the last time they had been together. Much of it not much more comforting than what he had discovered the first time. New scaring experiences had been had. Chival saw how Gaven had been tortured for information after he'd been taken from Vulcan under false pretenses. He felt the seemingly endless emotional conflict Gaven had known within himself since coming to to Deep Space 9. He experienced the deep grief Gaven still harbored over the lose of his Bondmate on Oum and his struggle to reconcile his need for interpersonal discourse against his overwhelming desire to remain ever apart.

In turn Gaven saw and felt directly how the strength of his original feelings and memories had effected and disrupted Chival's life. He saw how difficult it had been for the Vulcan to purge himself of feelings that were not his own and how his actual feelings were forced more candidly to the surface in ways that were traditional unbecoming of a Vulcan. He felt how isolated Chival felt and how he often hid away from his own people in order to hide the depth of his sensitivity. He saw how others of Chival's race treated him and rebuked him for his unchecked emotionality which though subtle by most people's standards were an eye sore to other Vulcan's around him. He touched Chival's loneliness as well as his strength.

A few minutes later they broke their link and when Chival opened his and looked upon Gaven with better understanding he saw that Gaven's own eyes were still closed.

"Doctor, Ore. You may release me now." Chival placed his hand atop where Gaven was still holding onto his wrist but he didn't pull Gaven's hand away.

Hearing Chival's easy urging, Gaven opened his eyes revealing the strain of unshed tears.

"I'm sorry." He said in a very quiet breathy manner.

"You should not be." Chival told him. "We have both experienced much. "Because of you I understand the conventions of some emotions much better than I might have. I don't regret out contact then nor now. Nor should you."

"Thank you." Gaven said earnestly before he pulled out of Chival's grasp and stood to move a few feet away from him towards his alter table.

"I noticed you have not been purging your feelings as the Oum are trained to do." Chival remarked.

"No. I find myself preferring to immerse myself as much as possible in them as of late." Gaven confirmed.

"My I make an observation? From what you've shared with me it would appear that you are conflicted about the concepts of life and death." Chival said.

Gaven did not immediately comment and instead turned back around to face Chival with an expression that gave the vulcan leave to go on.

"On Oum you were determined to live. Defiantly so." He continued.

"Yes." Gaven confirmed at length. "Lopel's death…Was a tragic accident. He never believed in the traditional notion that the bonded should be tied to their counters in death as they were in life. I promised him that if anything ever happened that I would resist the cultural practice. It was a subject that we both agreed upon and that I honored."

"And yet,you willingly went through with Vell-Par. It was you who proposed that you be placed within the death capsule and launched into orbit around the planet. Had you remained in that state much longer then you surely would have died which for all intents and purposes was what the Oum believed to be your intention." Chival pointed out.

"The ritual of Vell-Par. The honorable death. Yes. I took that path. Defiant as I was, I could not deny that my resistance was causing confusion and unrest among my people an because of my love for my kind I found myself compelled to offer forth some kind of resolution that all could live with." Gaven explained.

"But you didn't ultimately honor the ritual of Vell-Par and instead used your extrasensory abilities to call out through space." Chival pointed out.

"Yes. Where in you and your people rescued me. What of it?" Gaven was waiting calmly for Chival to get to his primary point.

"You fought through all of that and what came afterwords to live. Yet now that you have succeeded you seem reluctant to go on. You speak freely of your death as if it's certain when it is not. You resist the nation of using the capsule remnants as a makeshift way of receiving Poly radiation exposure that would strengthen you and help you prolong your quality of life and lifespan. In light of these facts and behaviors…" Chival was about to go on but Gaven held up his hand.

"If your suggesting that I'm sabotaging myself…" Gaven began.

"I am observing that you perhaps are unsure if you actually want to live or die and giving you my reasoning behind the observation." Chival corrected him.

"You should go for now. I'm tired." Gaven said for lack of any better response. "I'm sorry to have kept you as long as I have."

"As you wish,Dr. Ore. It was not my intention to offend." Chival immediately stood and began to walk towards the door in a manner that seemed almost uncertain.

"May I say, Doctor; that speaking as your…Friend, I would not enjoy seeing any harm befall you. Goodnight." At that Chival left Gaven to his own thoughts which he suspected would be fitful and unsatisfactory.


	9. Curiouser ad Curiouser

The next morning, the Station proved to be a twitter with all kinds of happier activity. Odo was intently focused on furthering his relationship with the baby Changeling who was still under observation, Kira was still enjoying the after glow of giving birth and bonding second hand with Kirayoshi, and everyone felt a new wave of optimism about being able to further their efforts regarding the benefits of utilizing the poly radiation to further their cause against the Dominion.

As expected Gaven had slept in fits that had been attributed to more to his physical strain than anything else and when he arrived in the infirmary he looked grave and as if he was in more physical pain than usual.

"Gaven! Just the man I wanted to see." Bashir said as he caught sight of the Good doctor. "You look miserable."

"I didn't sleep well." Gaven noted how Julian looked to be in top form and in higher spirits than average.

Though it normally amused him to see the other doctor this way, this morning he wasn't sure he could stomach it and quickly looked for a way to escape into his office.

"I have an idea I wanted to try on You. Come and take a look." Bashir insisted.

Having little choice in the matter Gaven tried his best to put aside his bad humor and followed Julian into the lab. On the table he saw what looked to be a collection of ten small titanium alloy disks sitting in a containment field.

"I see you've been busy this morning. What are they?" Gaven asked.

"They're poly saturated titanium alloy disks harvested and fashioned from bits of the capsule remnants. We've got them in a containment field now to prevent any unwanted poly exposure but I'm confident that we wont need to worry about it once I implant them under your skin." Julian informed him.

"You want to implant those." Gaven reiterated.

"Not all of them at once of course. We could start with two or three and see how your system takes to them. It's not a forever fix because over time your body will absorb the radiation in full but these could buy you a significant amount of time and help you feel better." Julian assured him.

"Very interesting." Gaven muttered.

"Well don't say it like that." Julian protested. "Gaven, don't you understand? This could really work for you. I would think you'd be pleased."

"I…I am Doctor. Thank you. I see no reason why your concept shouldn't work. Your efforts are truly remarkable." Gaven remarked honestly trying hard to at least hint at pleasantness.

This didn't really satisfy Julian who preferred enthusiastic praise over all other kinds but he decided he didn't want to pick a fight with the other Doctor or let Gaven spoil his happy mood.

"Come on. Lets get you in an isolation room." Julian encouraged him.

Once they were alone behind closed doors Julain decided to be straightforward. "Gaven, I think it might be wise for you to go on an anti-depressant regiment. It may help even out your moods. I also think you should start letting me give you something for the physical pain I can tell your in."

"I will do whatever you think is best, Doctor."Gaven conceded.

"What? Since when? You almost always fight me on these things." Julian pointed out in a good humored tone.

"That's not true. I only fight you when you're wrong and this time I see no defect in your reasoning." Gaven reassured him.

"Oh." Julian rolled back onto the balls of his heels. "Well isn't that a nice change."

"Julian, I feel I owe you an apology about the other day. I'm sorry I went off on you on the promenade. Please forgive me." Gaven said reproachfully.

At first Julian didn't say anything. He simply stood back from Gaven and stared at him for awhile.

"I forgive you, Gaven." He said at length. "And I have a confession to make."

At this remark Julian leaned against the wall in a casual manner and put down his scanner.

"If it hadn't been for you, the changeling baby would have died. I…I gave up. I mean I would have likely given up if it hadn't been for you. It was my fault that the changeling destabilized to begin with. When I purged its system of the radiation I assumed instead of looking further that it was enough. If you hadn't been there to diagnose the problem and create that new treatment, I can assure you that the changeling would have indeed perished." Julian confessed.

"You ran every possible test you could have, Julian. There was no way you could have known that the damage was as extensive as it was. It wasn't your fault." Gaven said evenly.

"Oh, I know. It's just…I was so ready to throw it all in. That's one of the many notable differences between us." Julian observed. "I've never seen you once give up on anyone or thing. Even with the odds were completely stacked against you, you take things as if everything is ultimately surmountable. It's one of the things I like the most about you. I would hate to see you hesitate to apply that trait to yourself."

Gaven couldn't help but snort in a amused fashion that neither gave or rescinded his agreement. "Your a good Doctor, Julian.

"Thank you. Now come on. Lets get these implanted." Julian said.

About twenty minutes later Julian had the disks implanted under Gaven's skin. One at each wrist and the other at the base of his back. Gaven was then put under strict orders to monitor himself and report back if anything felt a miss.

The rest of the morning Gaven and Julian worked side by side running various tests using the poly Radiation. with a few more days of research both were confident they could begin applying what they would learn to their inoculation research. It was a pleasant experience for them and a far cry from how Gaven usually liked to work. Julian's jovial enthusiasm eventually managed to easy Gaven's darker mood coupled with the fact that Julian had shot him up with both a mild pain reliever and a even milder round of anti-depressants. All of it felt like a kind of turning point where some of Gaven's usual resistance was relaxed.

As the day wore on Gaven's attention began to wane. He had expected to see Chival in the infirmary when he arrived that morning and yet it was already after one and Gaven still hadn't seen him in spite of seeing the other Vulcans throughout the morning come and go.

By one-thirty Gaven finally dismissed himself early from his work to go find him.

Upon not finding the young Vulcan at his quarters, Gaven took a rare stroll through the promenade nonchalantly looking for signs of him. Eventually he ended up at Quarks where he finally found Chival sitting by himself at one of the tables sipping at some blue green concoction that he did not appear to be enjoying.

"What is that and why are you drinking it?" Gaven couldn't help but ask.

"I believe it is called a…Blue Ha-waiian. Some kind of tropical Earth drink. As for why I am drinking it, I thought I would try to be…Adventurous." Chival said raising the glass to examine its coloring. "My experiment is garnering mixed results."

In spite of himself, Gaven couldn't help but smile fondly. Something about the Vulcan's youthful oddness seemed to endlessly amuse him and put the doctor at ease.

"I was expecting to see you today." Gaven remarked as he settled down in a adjacent seat.

"I had planned to call on you at dinner time. Surely, you've had much to do today." Chival revealed setting the glass back down and pushing it away from him.

"Yes though I was expecting you to stop by the cargo bay or at least the infirmary regardless of whether I was occupied or not." Gaven admitted.

"I cannot conceive why. I am a civilian, not a member of Starfleet or a ambassador here representing Vulcan. I should think my opinions on anything as well as my uninvited presence would be disruptive to those working on this station." Chival reasoned.

"Of course. I forgot. I'm sorry for being presumptuous." Gaven replied.

"You look much better today. Tired, but in better spirits." Chival observed.

"The Doctor has begun me on a poly radiation therapy regiment that he hopes will garner results." Gaven explained.

"I'm glad you are choosing to be proactive about your health." Chival said sincerely.

"Have you thought about what you're going to do with yourself while your on the station?" Gaven asked.

It was hard to imagine the Vulcan simply remaining indefinitely idle.

"I am uncertain." Chival admitted.

"I might encourage you to speak with Keiko O'Brien. She's a botanist and might be able to give you some idea about what could be done with your skills. You might consider Bajor as well. It's close enough that you could come back to the station whenever you wish." Gaven suggested.

"I will take your suggestions under consideration." Chival said as he settled his hands upon the table and looked down upon them thoughtfully.

This display of youthful shyness struck Gaven as a particular trait unique to him and it occurred to Gaven that he perhaps made the younger man nervous, or, at the very least, self-conscious.

"Well…I suppose I should get back to work. Did you still want to stop by later?" He asked calmly.

"Yes. I'd like that." Chival said softly.

"I should be back by six. May I?" Gaven indicated to the drink Chival had seemly discarded before he picked it up from the table and took a large sip from it. "Mm. Not bad. Next time try a something called a Fuzzy Navel. I think you'll like it better."

After this suggestion, Gaven took it upon himself to head back to the infirmary and continue his work. Gaven didn't look back as he departed, but if he had he might have caught the look on Chival's face which indicated intense bewilderment.

Quark in the meantime had been managing bar close to where the men had been sitting and of course because he was always eager to make a sliver of latinum and because people tended to forget the natural range and depth of the Ferengi's hearing had of course been shamelessly ease dropping on their conversation. While Quark always enjoyed having dirt on people the strange Doctor had proved particularly challenging because though he liked to commonly take meals in Quark's bar and restaurant, the man almost never spoke more than two polite words together when he was there.

Since his arrival there had been much hushed talk about Dr. Gaven Ore. Mostly people seemed to know a strangely small amount of information on the man given he was supposed to be so brilliant and such an asset to the federation. Interest in him was unusually high despite this and most of the general conversation by people about the man was kept mostly to conjecture, much to the Ferengi's disappointment. After a mild inquiry of his own, it didn't take a rocket scientist to realize the data in the computer's about the Doctor were largely a fabrication. Quark had spent enough time doctoring information over the years to tell the difference between carefully organized facts and a carefully constructed fiction. As far as he was concerned whoever had done it had done the job poorly and there was just no excuse for shoddy work as far as Quark was concerned.

The appearance of the Vulcan Chival was equally surprising considering that although Gaven was courteous and generous to just about everyone he did engage, he kept almost no company publicly and seemed a reclusive sort in general. Yet he'd treated Chival just now like they were almost friends. Quark surmised the almost in part because of the look of shock on the vulcan's face when Gaven had so intimately drank from his cup without warning or consent.

"There is something very strange going on on around here." Quark concluded.

While he was naturally very curious, Quark was also careful not to dig too deeply unless he knew for a fact that what he discovered would be profitable. Anything outside of that might have proved an unnecessary hazard to the Ferangi's health.

This time though something irresistibly interesting had passed between the two conversing men. Gaven had mentioned he was being exposed to poly radiation treatments. Considering that poly radiation was both rare and generally harmful to most species there was absolutely no justifiable reason Quark could think of to expose someone to the stuff, particularly a generally vulnerable species like that of humans. Given that poly radiation only existed in a few remote systems also got Quark's attention. Was it possible that Dr. Gaven Ore was something other than human? And furthermore he wasn't human than what was he and why was he going to such lengths to conceal it?

Quark puzzled over these questions as he tried to isolate angles that could be profitable. But for once his heart wasn't quite in it, if there was some kind of cover up going on it certainly wasn't a small thing. Starfleet had to be in on it which meant that the truth was probably known on the station but only among a handful of people. If it was that big of a secret then it was probably unwise for Quark to do anything that could result in unwanted negative exposure. Then again, sometimes just knowing about the existence of a secret was profit enough.

Quark decided to hold off on doing anything just yet, though he was eager to dig a little bit and refresh himself about which known systems had poly radiating suns and how many of those systems were inhabited. Quark couldn't imagine that there were very many.

As for Chival, Quark observed that the Vulcan was battling something. This was amusing in and of itself to Quark because he couldn't remember a time he ever saw a vulcan show any real sign of emotion outside of occasional frustration and annoyance. Chival seemed a slightly more sensitive example of his species. Deep Space 9 seemed to attract many aliens who were not generally typical of the races they were apart of for one reason or another. Quark's pitiful brother Rom came to mind as did Worf, and Odo. While all had strong ties to their individual cultures, they were not typical representations of those cultures. Rom was Rom. Worf had been raised predominately by humans, and Odo had gone as far as to defy the standards of his people enough to warrant them taking away his shape shifting abilities which he'd only just gotten back.

Since Gaven had left Chival had gotten a distant pensive look on his face as he stared at the mostly empty glass resting between his hands. While most might have thought he was simply caught in deep concentration, Quark rather thought he was trying to qualify something in his mind.

"You look at odds. Here. Try some Gulbian beer nuts. Thinking is better on a full stomach." Quark offered, unable to resist bothering the Vulcan.

A large cup of beer nuts were produced from behind th bar and carried off to Chival's table by Quark personally.

"Thank you." Chival broke his concentration long enough to give a slight nod of acknowledgment to Quark. "Though, I am not at odds."

"Ah well, far be it of me to go round making judgments about people I don't really know. Nevertheless, I don't like seeing people conflicted in my bar and you, sir, strike me as a man conflicted and that's bad for business. See, it depresses the atmosphere. Now usually a little melancholy helps sales around here, but at this hour there's not enough people to take advantage of so as the proprietor I have to protect me revenue streams as much as I can. Now, let me see if I can't use my bar-tending gifts of deduction and guess what's on your mind. Um…You don't like your drink. That's fair. We'll get you another. You don't know what do do with all you're free time…Well that's what holo-suites are for and since your a tourist I'll give you a two for one session and knock ten percent off of the base cost of your first session…As a welcome gesture."

Chival didn't bite and only stared at Quark without comment, so the Ferengi moved on and went in for the kill.

"Now, If your real dilemma is that you're worried about the good doctor Ore…" Quark was hoping to stimulate a conversation for research purposes of course.

There was the right button, Quark observed when he saw Chival color ever so slightly and doing so presumably for being so transparent.

"He is well liked here on Deep Space 9, is he not?" Chival interjected swiftly.

"Well, It's hard to say. Dr. Ore isn't exactly the most demonstrative person around here, ya see. I hear it told that he's very good at what he does though. In fact, you didn't hear this from me, but, I've heard it proposed that he may even rival our resident CMO…But,Shhh. Like I said, you didn't hear that from me. As for my personal opinion as the proprietor here? Over all, he seems to keep to himself so your guess as as good as mine." Quark said casually.

"I am surprised that the good doctor wouldn't attract more open camaraderie." Chival remarked.

"Oh I dunno. He does seem liked by many people, all things considered. And I think many people around here would like to think of him as a friend If he'd let them once in awhile. But for whatever reason he's just stodgy about reciprocating sentiment. Though, huh, he seems to get along with you pretty well. Trust me, it's my job to notice these things. I mean…He's never said more than two words to me before. Not that it hurts my feelings. With you though, it seemed he couldn't wait to talk." Quark mused as he pretended to be casual when he was really acutely interested in the Vulcan's reaction.

"I see. I admit…I should very much like to get to know him better. Though perhaps I should be more obvious about my receptivity." Chival mused. "Though that presents a small problem. I can't claim to know much about human customs in terms of hospitality and preemptive friendship gestures." Chival was careful to show no signs what so ever that he knew anything about Gaven's actual identity and origins.

"Ah. Well that one is easy. He invited you to dinner. Again, I noticed. You should bring him a gift. Nothing too ostentatious. So that rules out food food or wine." Quark snapped his fingers. "You know what? I know just the thing. You should give him a plant. Everyone likes a plant to brighten up their living space. Call it an old Human tradition someone told me about one time. And it just so happens I think I have just the thing. This morning I was helping set up arraignments for a Bajoran wedding I'm catering and the florist let me keep some of the flower samples as a kind of good will gesture. Trouble is they don't really go with my bar's motif. Maybe you could take one off my hands and give it to the doctor. Human's love that kind of thing."

Chival considered this plan a moment. "A plant would seem an acceptable gesture of gratitude and mutual hospitality. What kind of flowers are they?"

"A type of Bajoran Orchid. Very fragrant, sturdy, and long lasting. Let me go get one and you can decide for yourself." Quark offered.

To Quark's delight, Chival agreed to look at a specimen. Being a botanist plants were of chief interest to him anyway and gift or not he might have been tempted to buy a sample off of Quark regardless, if it proved particularly interesting. Quark encouraged him to wait at the bar while Quark scuttled swiftly into the back to track down his brother. For once Rom's tendency to tinker on his breaks were about to prove useful.

"Rom! Where are you? You know, it's out of brotherly courtesy that I let you have breaks at all. The least you could do is be snappy about it when I need you for something." Quark complained.

Seconds later Rom appeared at his elbow. "Sorry brother. I'll do better next time."

"Never mind that. Rom, is that organic bug you've been working on finished yet?" Quark griped his brother by the shoulders enthusiastically.

"Well…Yeah, but it doesn't have a long shelf life. I mean it'll still transmit up to twelve hours of information but after that it decays. I was hoping to get it up to at least three days…" Rom said with a humble though hopeful tonality.

"Yeah, yeah. We don't need it to work that long. Tell me a prototype is ready to go?"

"Well, sure. But, I only got one…I mean…" Rom confessed.

"Get it and conceal it on this plant. I just overheard a very interesting conversation that I want to follow up on." Quark insisted.

Rom reluctantly did what he was told and a moment later the organic bug was disguised to look like just a normal bulge in the orchid's stem.

Taking the orchid from his brother, Quark swiftly brought it back out to Chival and presented it to him. "Here we go. If you like it you can have it for say a sliver of gold-latinum."

Chival studied the plant closely for several seconds until it got to the point where Quark was sure his plan was going to be found out before it ever got off the ground. To his relief, the organic bug remained hidden.

"It is acceptable." Chival said at length. "May I open a line of credit with you to cover the expense in the short term?"

"It would be my pleasure." Quark agreed."Right this way."

For once Gaven found himself apprehensive about something other than his various past regrets and the political intrigue he found himself entrenched in. Maybe it was the drugs Julian had shot him up with or simply a side effect of the implants doing their job. In any case, for the first time since his exile from Oum Gaven found he felt pleased with himself.

The sentiment felt almost foreign to him in light of all the negative things he'd experienced and felt since leaving Oum and because it had been so long since a truly happy state of mind had been his to enjoy, Gaven couldn't hep but be judiciously suspicious of it's existence within his psyche. The source of his preemptive pleasure was, of course, rooted within the prospect of hosting Chival that evening. The awkward circumstances and nature of the intimacy that had been generated now by not just one but multiple mind melds since they'd met coupled by the fact that they were still very separate and different people with very little first hand knowledge of each other caused Gaven to experience a kind of giddy anxiety that felt entirely out of character for him.

This mixture of self indulgent pleasure and anxiety was enough of a distraction for Gaven that he ultimately begged off the rest of his work for the day almost immediately after he returned to the infirmary. As he mulled over his new feelings and tried to make sense of them, for once Gaven wished he had someone in his life that he could truly confide in. But, despite being on good terms with many of the station's staff, Gaven had yet to develop what he considered to be a personal enough relationship with anyone to feel comfortable talking through his thoughts just then. Barring this ability, Gaven knew there were other options available to him. How long had it been since he'd purged his emotions? Not since he'd left Oum.

Similarly to many other cultures, the Oum had developed a strong appreciation for meditation and similar therapeutic practices. This was especially important to the Oum because of their empathic abilities and common communication barriers. The concept of purging emotion was considered necessary to the average Oum's health and well being because it was believed that repression could cause physical illness and mental instability. Since leaving Oum, Gaven had resisted the meditative purging process. In some ways he'd been afraid to let go. So he'd defiantly held on to and internalized everything he'd experienced since his exile. Gaven had learned to tolerate suffering and make friends with his sense of loss. But until now he hadn't considered how painful and disorientating it could be to feel anything other than turmoil. It disturbed him to realize he'd forgotten how to enjoy things.

Furthermore, the last thing Gaven wanted to do was drive Chival away or disrupt the Vulcan's life more than he already had. Chival wasn't on the station simply because Gaven had presented him with an opportunity to come when he'd included Chival's name on the list of contacts he'd given to the captain. Chival had been having personal problems because of Gaven. Problems that were persistent and troubling enough that Gaven was convinced that sooner or later Chival would have tracked him down whether he'd extended an invitation or not. In some way he felt like he owed the other man something. But was there more to it than that?

Trying to calm his confused thoughts, Gaven sank down into his sofa and tried to breath through his feelings which were a jumble of manic thoughts, cloudy self doubt, irony laced amusement with himself, and the ache deep within him that was now a permanent part of his Psyche.

It was already half past three, if he was going to handle entertaining Chival in a few hours Gaven needed to do something to get his head on straight.

For once he needed to confront what he felt directly.

The exact purging process was a little different for every Oum, but the general idea behind the practice was to take any and all disruptive emotions and cycling thoughts, process them, and then expel them through guided meditation and visualization. Gaven had resisted purging his consciousness for some time, but now he saw no other choice if he was going to move forward.

Slowly getting up, Gaven moved to the display and gently picked up the small pulsing box bringing it back with him to the open area in front of his sofa. Placing the box in the center of the floor the then proceeded very awkwardly to get down on the floor in spite of his bad leg. Eventually he succeeded and settled into a semi cross legged position before the pulsing box so that he could focus on its blue light and begin the meditative process that would allow him to plunge within himself beyond what was known and into the depths of the unknown self.

In this middle space where memory met imagination, Gaven found himself transported to a different time and place. When he opened his eyes again he found himself in front of the home he had Shared with his bond-mate Lopel Nor-Oum. The time was mid afternoon. A balmy day accented by the sweet breeze that was indicative of the late Oum springtime. The sky that day was only partially clear causing the hazy Oum's sun to cast a slightly orange hue upon the landscape that enhanced the natural green tones in the batch grassy iron rich soil and the unique trees. Gaven was sitting fully cross-legged in the grass with a telepad in his hand. He had often sat there in such a manner while composing his many essays and personal observations. For what seemed like a long time Gaven managed to forget himself and reality entirely. For all he knew he was back home on Oum living out his normal life as if everything that had happened in reality had not occurred. This absence of sense generated a feeling of utter peace and security within Gaven the like of which should have lasted him through his lifetime. For a time Gaven drank it all in. Knowing it as his only truth until something seemingly outside of him disrupted his peace of mind with a harsh crashing reality.

"This is far from a time to idly rest, my Gaven Ore-Oum. I am dead, I'm sorry to say. But you? You are alive…" The disembodied voice came from directly behind Gaven and was heard close to his ear. As the voice spoke, Gaven could feel the owner's rough palm run up his back and over his shoulder to embrace him from behind across his chest.

For Gaven the familiar voice seemed to invade his serenity and threaten the tranquility he was enjoying up until that moment. As awareness began to blossom in him he felt the familiar biting pain of remembrance, though this time because he was in the place between his consciousness and conscience, the usually violent awareness of his life's suffering felt far away and vague to him.

Putting down his telepad, Gaven gripped the man's forearm that was presently anchored across his and around his waist and pressed it even more firmly against his body. As he did this Gaven's mouth that had been turned down in a pensive expression softened and lifted into an expression of familiarity and fondness. Lopel Nor-Oum was nothing more than a figment of Gaven's imagination and yet there and now he felt as real to Gaven as anything could feel.

Gaven tugged on the other man gently urging him around his body so that he could pull Lopel into his lap and cup the man's face in his hands.

Lopel Nor-Oum was a jovial type. The kind full of mirth and mindful humor. His hair was a mess of sun bleached ringlets, accented by warm brown eyes, and tan skin. Like much of the dominant class on Oum, Lopel was biologically afflicted thanks to the genetics he'd inherited and because of the poly radiation that saturated everything around the Oum people. Lopel's calves were fused to his thighs and his skin was rough and marred from repeated infection. One brow bone dipped down lower than the other and his spin was slightly misaligned and crooked. Yet for all his physical defects, Lopel's stunning smile and cheerful disposition made him undeniably appealing. By Oum standards, Lopel was considered beautiful and, certainly, because Gaven had loved him beyond all measure; Gaven's eyes saw only flawlessness and felt only love for his looks, manner, and characterization. Lopel had indeed been a much liked and respected society figure. He was opinionated, mentally and emotionally strong, and absolutely fearless to a fault. But now he was dead. Unknown by anyone but Gaven off their planet.

"Well, Gaven Ore-Oum" Said Lopel. "So I see you have finally come to face me. And now, what do you think?"

Gaven let out a deep breath. "I think, I don't know what I'm doing anymore."

"What exactly is there to know?" Lopel scolded. "You are a Oum, but now you are also a free man. You can go anywhere and do anything you like."

"But what is there left for me without you? Without Oum? How can I let it all go?" Gaven asked seriously, though his expression was soft.

"You might start by remembering that you are not on Oum anymore. Look where you are, my love. Look what you've come now to know. Are you really so friendless in the universe? Have you note experienced some worthwhile things?" Lopel pressed.

"I have known nothing but misery since leaving you." Gaven muttered.

"And yet you have brought such resounding joy to others since you've been gone. Think of the Kira and of the O'briens. Of Odo. Of Bashir. Have you not known worthwhile things with them? You can't hide you're true feelings from me, Gaven Ore-Oum. I know you as well as you know yourself. Your growing care for these aliens is real and powerful…And so very important." Lopel reminded him. "But I see it isn't enough for you yet. You not ready to let any of them in and I bleed for you in light of that fact. Is there really no one you will allow into your world?"

"Chival." Gaven breathed. "He knows more about me than anyone here. He came looking for me even before I provided the means for our paths to cross again. I feel things for him I should not. Things I'm afraid of. Yet I know he can sense my fear and that given the chance he would go out of his way to dispel them. I trust him and like him very much. I admit."

This time Lopel smiled wide and brightly and pressed his hands to the sides of Gaven's face before pressing his lips to Gaven hard and pulling away in a playful knowing manner. "Why Gaven Ore-Oum, I do believe you have a crush. I'm so proud and happy for you."

At this declaration Gaven flushed hot and mirrored his partners expression of playful pleasure and radiant joy. "You are my bondmate, Lopel Nor-Oum. In death as you were in life. I will never stop loving you."

"My love for you exceeds all limitation." Lopel Nor-Oum vowed. "But just consider that if I have loved you than others may grow to love you too and that if they do it is because you are so much more than just my bondmate and beloved partner. You are so much more than what our people would have allowed you to be. Don't make yourself unhappy Gaven Ore-Oum. The universe is capable enough with or without your encouragement. Resist at your own peril and know that while I am always with you, I can't be with you anymore. If you're even to stand a fighting chance you must be willing to let it all go. Time is much more fleeting than you think."

Tearing Gaven allowed Lopel to pull his face into the side of his throat where his pining tears were lost in the curly nap of Lopel's hair as Lopel held Gaven and whispered almost silent reassurances into his ear.

And for what felt like a long time; time and space, consciousness and illusion, blurred together and carried Gaven deeper into himself. Almost as if he was trying to search out the lost fragments of his evasive peace of mind and and it weaved through the alleyways of his wounded heart.


End file.
